erynthered Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/o...er-do-part-one/ 1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting. 2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar. 3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived. 4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right. 5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated. 6. Do not lead the witness with, "Bottled water or just tap?" Both are fine. Remain neutral. 7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness. 8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment. 9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition. 10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials. 11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, "We only have two lobsters left." Even if there are only two lobsters left. 12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass. 13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles. 14. When you ask, "How's everything?" or "How was the meal?" listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right. 15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following with, "I'll find out." 16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves. 17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait. 18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, "Who's having the shrimp?" 19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread. 20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another. 21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong. 22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two. 23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc. 24. Never use the same glass for a second drink. 25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table. 26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire. 27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour. 28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork. 29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better. 30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle. 31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong. 32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them. 33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by. 34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers. 35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests. 36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage. 37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. "Not when I'm on duty" will suffice. 38.Do not call a guy a "dude." 39. Do not call a woman "lady." 40. Never say, "Good choice," implying that other choices are bad. 41. Saying, "No problem" is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. "My pleasure" or "You're welcome" will do. 42. Do not compliment a guest's attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else. 43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It's irrelevant. 44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic. 45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests. 46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal. 47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests. 48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order. 49. Never mention the tip, unless asked. 50. Do not turn on the charm when it's tip time. Be consistent throughout. Next week: 51-100. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/o...er-do-part-one/ 4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right. Next week: 51-100. what's an amuse-bouche? breathlessly awaiting 51-100 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 what's an amuse-bouche? breathlessly awaiting 51-100 A quick little freebie appetizer "compliments of the Chef". Usually a single bit cold appetizer. I'm pretty busy today, but if I have time I'd like address each one individually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I would have to print out the list and and refer to it constantly during the meal to decide if I was offended or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeviF Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I wonder if 51-100 will include using a small plate to carry a bowl of soup. I specifically remember seeing a waiter put his thumb in somebody's soup while trying to carry it by the edge of the bowl because the bowl was hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yall Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I'd say most of those are common sense. I would disagree with not using the same glass for a drink. Some drinkers like to keep the same glass. That one seems to be a matter of preference, although those folks tend to specify that they wish to use the same glass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOBILLS78 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Give me my food and leave me alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong. Well, that's not very nice. It should be "Never serve anyone..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/o...er-do-part-one/ 1. Don't put up a post that makes me scroll and scroll and scroll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Man Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/o...er-do-part-one/ 40. Never say, "Good choice," implying that other choices are bad. I like when the server tells me good choice after I order. Makes me confident that what I have coming is going to be pretty good. Saying it implies other things are bad is reading too much into a simple statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 6. Do not lead the witness with, "Bottled water or just tap?" Both are fine. Remain neutral. This one is interesting. When I was in England, the servers at every restaurant I went to seemed confused when I asked for plain water, many of them asking, "You mean tap water...?" It was really weird... Is there something wrong with the tap water in London??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 This one is interesting. When I was in England, the servers at every restaurant I went to seemed confused when I asked for plain water, many of them asking, "You mean tap water...?" It was really weird... Is there something wrong with the tap water in London??? Visit Germany. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acantha Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Kind of hard to agree or disagree with such a big list. Some are very much just common sense. Some I would only expect at a more fancy/expensive restaurant (someplace that had more servers per table, or a place that I was expecting to go and spend more time). There are many restaurants that I think it's a benefit for the staff to be more personable and relaxed. While there are some where I would expect far more professional service like what's described above. I think these are "old fashioned" rules that don't take into account a new restaurant environment. Too many restaurants are geared toward the average persons desire for a quick bite out, as opposed to a full evening dining experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I wonder if 51-100 will include using a small plate to carry a bowl of soup. I specifically remember seeing a waiter put his thumb in somebody's soup while trying to carry it by the edge of the bowl because the bowl was hot. so because the bowl was hot he put his finger into even hotter soup? that's a dum waiter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 so because the bowl was hot he put his finger into even hotter soup? that's a dum waiter. "Dumb waiter", you dumby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them. I don't know about this one. Nothing to wrong with a hot young female server accidently brushing me with her assets when delivering the food..kinda like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 This list is brought to you by uptight diners who like to make themselves feel superior by complaining about their server's innocuous mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Fixed #2: 2. Do not make a singleton simpleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for someone really this stupid or are you trying to make a bad joke?" Ask for a to see if the individual would like to make a reservation at the establishment next door. Ask if he or she would like to sit has been sitting at the bar and perhaps has had too much to drink at the bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 This list is brought to you by uptight diners who like to make themselves feel superior by complaining about their server's innocuous mistakes. Ahh, to be a youngin like Sage Ses Sage, I can be a real pain da rear when I am eating out as well, but all depends on what I am paying. If my wife and I are spending $150-$200 before tip, and the wait staff is expecting at least 20% on top, dam right they better be dam close to perfect and make my evening as enjoyable as possible. And I usually go closer to to 25% when I think the service is good to great..and 10-15% when less than stellar. If I am spending $50 at the Cheesecake Factory for the wife and the kids..I do not expect the same level of service. Pretty standard 20% there for me all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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