Hoax. I am to improve the lives of all. Mr. Third n’ Long gave me some sagacious advice about courtroom demeanor. I always take stock of things conspiracy theory randos say on the Internet and, to improve the chances that others will take the advice of this savant, I thought it appropriate to help him with his grammar. He has a lot of important knowledge to share, especially on topics like fake hoaxes, the simultaneous overplay and underplay of COVID-19, pretend conservatism, the raking of forests, and triggered libs, and it’s important that it reach open minds.