ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

I don't even know who won the North American Wife Carrying Championship this year: https://findarace.com/us/events/north-american-wife-carrying-championship

1. Cassius Clay Wouldn't need the other 2 (because they wouldn't actually fight the most famous man on the planet at the time), but might as well have some eye candy - - the bar patrons wouldn't even know I was there: 2. Scarlett Johansson 3. Margot Robbie

If you like quirky and somehow find yourself in Zagreb, Croatia, I highly recommend the Museum of Broken Relationships: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Museum_of_Broken_Relationships It's a hoot!

Brian, there's no truth to the rumor that the New Jersey Giants just gave Tony Soprano our next garbage disposal contract.

If I'm understanding your post (might not be because some of it was a little vague), you (1) paid him a fee or commission up front for him to handle your money, (2) paid him either a fee or a percentage of the profits when you "cashed out" after five years, (3) let him keep the quarterly dividends paid on the stocks that he bought for you rather than adding them to your account, and (4) let him use funds in your account to periodically buy extremely expensive dinner/wine for the 2 of you. Just because you never came out of pocket to pay him at any time other than day 1 when you first invested and day (365*5)= 1825 when you cashed out, doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't getting a commission every time he sold "Science and Research in Germany" and re-invested the funds in "Technology in Japan." Constantly shifting your money around every few months, if he was getting a commission for doing it, is sometimes called "churning" the account. Are you sure he didn't get a commission every few months when he sold one type of investment and re-invested the funds someplace else? If you made a bunch of money with this guy that's great (if you had "capital gains" it sounds like the investments did make money), but did you ever calculate what NET annualized rate of return you got over the 5 years and see how that compared to what the S&P 500 did over the same time frame? I'm guessing no, but I could be wrong. Free advice is worth what you pay for it, but my free advice is that anybody who only casually follows Wall Street might want to read "Where Are The Customers' Yachts?" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/288897.Where_Are_the_Customers_Yachts_

FU money is extremely satisfying, because it liberates you. You can get there more quickly if you don't spend $450/couple on dinner/wine.

Ya gotta keep 'em separated:

Like me, my dumps have a rebellious streak, and sometimes refuse to go with the flow.

I played hookie from grad school with a couple buddies so that we could go see the Dodgers on opening day. We were looking forward to watching Jerry Reuss (sp?), then the Dodger ace, pitch. We were extremely disappointed that he had some sort of injury and some rookie we never heard of had to take the mound to start the game. It was Fernando, who went on to set some sort of record based on how he started the season. Not sure if it's been broken. Might have been most consecutive scoreless innings (over several games) for a rookie starting his major league career. Can't remember exactly, 'cause that was a long time ago. Glad I skipped classes that day.

<<Tony Bennet, the amazingly successful basketball coach at the University of Virginia announced a shocking immediate retirement, effective immediately.>> Rumor has it he's taking a job at the Department of Redundancy Department.

I quit following the USC women's beach volleyball team, but the injunction should never have been issued. It was a public beach, and I never touched anybody.

Riddle me this - - if there are no recent alien visits by submerged UFOs, why did the government decide that every vice president since Walter Mondale should live at the US Naval Observatory? Here's the official cover story - - from https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/the-grounds/the-vice-presidents-residence-office/: "Walter Mondale was the first Vice President to move into the home. It has since been home to the families of Vice Presidents Bush, Quayle, Gore, Cheney, Biden, and Pence. Vice Presidents have welcomed countless guests to the residence, including foreign leaders and dignitaries. Still, the Naval Observatory has continued to operate. Scientists observe the sun, moon, planets, and selected stars, determine and precisely measure the time, and publish astronomical data needed for accurate navigation." Do you really think that every VP since Mondale has lived at the Naval Observatory because they want to "observe" the sun and the moon? All you gotta do to observe the sun is look up during the day, or look up at night to observe the moon, planets and stars. And what do any of those things have to do with oceans or the Navy? I'm sure if the president decided to live there it would draw too much attention, so just exactly what sort of naval phenomenomenon is the VP really keeping an eye on and reporting back to the president about? Gotta run - - I need more tin foil, and the dock workers may go on strike again in November. What sort of ship cargo are they afraid of unloading, anyway?

It's an indicator of character, or lack thereof. Speaking of "back in the day" - - when my Dad was a young man, cars did not have automatic, fob-controlled door locks. When he was on a first date, he says he always paid attention to what his date did after he unlocked the passenger side door first to let her get in the car. If she reached over to pull up the button to unlock the driver's side door (cars generally had bench seats back then, not buckets) before he got there, that was sort of an initial litmus test for whether she was likely to be a keeper, or too self-absorbed. Never asked him whether Mom passed that initial test (both have been gone for years now). Not sure what the modern day equivalent could be with electronic key fobs that control all car functions.

My other brother Darryl might be available for the right price, but you'd have to use a silent snap count.

I once wore white after Labor Day, but that was a long time ago.

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Sax : "Though never regarded as one of the top fielding second basemen in the league, Steve Sax inexplicably became incapable of making routine throws to first base in 1983, committing 30 errors that season.[6] This is referred to in baseball terminology as "Steve Sax syndrome", the fielder's variant of "Steve Blass disease", named after the Pirates pitcher who suffered a similar breakdown of basic mechanics (also known as "the yips"). As his accuracy suffered, fans sitting behind the first base dugout began wearing batting helmets as mock protection.[7] (Teammate Pedro Guerrero, an outfielder pressed into service at third base in 1983, once reportedly stated that his first thought whenever he was in the field was "I hope they don't hit it to me", while his second thought was "I hope they don't hit it to Sax.")"

Whatever you may think about whether either of today's threads about past Bills OL names were funny, in my personal opinion, two bills drive is less enjoyable than it used to be because most attempts at humor (there a few notable exceptions that seem to be grandfathered into acceptability) are routinely deleted by the moderators.

There's usually a legitimate reason for that. When there is some obstruction in the road ahead, like something that fell off a truck, they do that to create a gap in the traffic that allows someone to safely walk out into what would otherwise be dangerous, busy traffic and remove the debris from the road. Once the obstruction is gone, they speed up to allow normal traffic flow to resume. You never see the reason for creating the gap, because by the time you get to the spot that had the debris, it's gone.

Turns out there are underground tunnels on the moon. Scientists speculate they were made by lava flows, but they found one with a caved-in roof. I've seen lots of movies showing various scenarios that cause tunnel roof collapses, but I don't recall ever reading about a cave-in caused by lava flows. The truth is out there: https://www.inverse.com/science/moon-cave-hidden-passageways-tunnel-surface

We released a LB so dedicated that he changed his first name to Shayne (in honor of Shane Conlan) just because he spelled it wrong? That's cold.

I'm taller than most, and I always get up and into the aisle the instant the seat belt sign goes off. Despite grabbing an aisle seat whenever possible to give me a chance to move one knee out of the seat back in front of me, I am always uncomfortable by the time the plane lands, even if I am not sitting behind some jerk who tries to rapidly recline his seat and succeeds only in further jamming my knees. Very few people who immediately stand up in the aisle try to actually rush off the plane (although it does occasionally happen). You might want to cut the people who immediately stand up but wait their turn to deplane a little slack before calling them rude, especially if they are tall.

https://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/media/2024/07/18/lou-dobbs-media-legacy/74461452007/

My brother Darryl, my other brother Darryl and I miss him already.

If it makes you feel any better: I sometimes stay at a campground that has a few horse corrals, with large tubs inside the corrals that the horse owners can fill with water. They have to put what amounts to small ladders in the water tubs so that when the chipmunks go in the tub to drink they don't drown. Used to see small piles of dead, drowned chipmunks next to some of the tubs. Sometiimes horse owners from other areas don't realize what the little ladders are for and take them out of the tubs - - more dead chipmunks.