I somewhat agree.
As far as what the defense can do regarding hitting someone I agree completely. I'm left wondering sometimes if the choices defenders have in a lot of cases is take a 15 yard penalty or let the opponent go in for the score.
However in the KW case I disagree completely. All players should know by now that actively getting in someones face (and he did, he specifically went over to the player to do so) can be flagged. It might not always be, and in fact it might almost never be, but it can be. Therefore instead of doing the stupid thing and risk the penalty, you suck it up then and perhaps show the other player your displeasure at a later time by means of putting him on his ass (preferably legally, but strongly) rather then just talking trash. Kinda the hockey philosophy of payback.