MacGyver Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) On 6/18/2019 at 5:47 PM, Royale with Cheese said: No way.....no way. She's got that "I don't need a man, I'm independent" attitude. She's always got a chip on her shoulder. I used to hate it but now I don't mind it because it kept her from taking my hard earned savings/retirement. Expand HAHA, well I guess your ex being a feminist is good for one thing! Edited June 18, 2019 by MacGyver 1
teef Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 5:32 PM, Royale with Cheese said: Money has cost me more after my divorce actually. She didn't take any of my savings or retirement so I'm good there. Now I'm giving her almost a $1,000 a month for preschool and child support. Child support needs to be adjusted badly. The $421.00 a month is about twice the amount she needs for child support....especially since we have shared 50/50 custody. Expand are you going to start selling your body? 1
Royale with Cheese Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 5:54 PM, teef said: are you going to start selling your body? Expand How much are you offering?
Misterbluesky Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 5:47 PM, Royale with Cheese said: No way.....no way. Expand A day might come when you go pick up your son and you see a caddie in her driveway...you bought it..but won't be allowed in it.
Royale with Cheese Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 6:00 PM, Misterbluesky said: A day might come when you go pick up your son and you see a caddie in her driveway...you bought it..but won't be allowed in it. Expand Well then I have to balance out living in misery or giving her a caddie....I'll take the latter.
Misterbluesky Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 6:01 PM, Royale with Cheese said: Well then I have to balance out living in misery or giving her a caddie....I'll take the latter. Expand I get you,if she's taking that much money from you..well,she must be a (fill in the blank).Same thing happened to my best bud...and she was cheating on him.
Royale with Cheese Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 6:07 PM, Misterbluesky said: I get you,if she's taking that much money from you..well,she must be a (fill in the blank).Same thing happened to my best bud...and she was cheating on him. Expand Yeah I don’t think she ever cheated. Our personalities just don’t line up. I don’t like in her in general. She’s not a bad person, there’s just some people you just can’t be around. She’s mine...I wish I would have realized this 7 years ago.
BillsfaninSB Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 10:13 AM, MacGyver said: For a man, marriage is generally a huge financial burden. And if you want to get out of it, it's financially fatal to most. NYS isn't a common law state, so it's best to have a live-in GF vs. a wife. You can get out of a bad situation with a lot less financial loss. It's just common sense economics. Just don't introduce any children into the dynamic. Now, if your goal is to raise a family, you really should get married, but you have to really think about giving your life away, because that's essentially what you're doing. Your wife and kids' lives and finances will ALWAYS come before your own, that's what's expected of you as a married man in today's culture. You are perpetually in last place when married with children. Some men can live like this, many cannot. It's much easier for women. They just need to find a man who brings in a decent salary, get pregnant, and they own his finances for 26 years, don't have to hold a job, don't have to get married, and can use the legal system to keep the father of their child away from them, AND get money from him. That's like the best deal you can get in modern western culture when it comes to free money. Expand I totally get your point and the man needs to think it through very carefully before getting married and having children. It certainly can come off the rails in a big way and there is a lot of financial exposure and unhappiness. However, your post about the woman side of things is a little insensitive. Out of all the couples I have known who have gone through a divorce it was the woman who was ripped apart and crushed by the process. It wasn’t their grand plan and they would have given anything to have it the way it was. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are wives who are manipulative.
MacGyver Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 6:47 PM, BillsfaninSB said: Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are wives who are manipulative. Expand Most women in general use manipulation to get what they want. It's how human females evolved to survive in a male physical dominance environment. In terms of modern day marriage I suspect most if not all women use some form of manipulation, either verbal or emotional.
teef Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 5:57 PM, Royale with Cheese said: How much are you offering? Expand how much are you willing to degrade yourself? On 6/18/2019 at 6:55 PM, MacGyver said: Most women in general use manipulation to get what they want. It's how human females evolved to survive in a male physical dominance environment. In terms of modern day marriage I suspect most if not all women use some form of manipulation, either verbal or emotional. Expand what in god's name happened to you t-bomb/white dwarf/macgyver?
Royale with Cheese Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 7:27 PM, teef said: how much are you willing to degrade yourself? Expand I don't think degrade is the right word. How can it be degrading if you're smiling?
teef Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 7:52 PM, Royale with Cheese said: I don't think degrade is the right word. How can it be degrading if you're smiling? Expand you really know how to open a man's wallet...don't you?
Augie Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 4:38 PM, MacGyver said: That all depends upon the type of woman tbh, hence the lottery comment... Also, you (or your son) not being the bread winner is part of it. The vast majority of women want to marry up, not down. However, with the way things are going in our academic culture, women will have to get used to being the bread winners, will have to get used to marrying down, if they want to get married... Expand It’s not that we are not the “breadwinner”. We all work(ed), and my son will almost certainly out-earn his GF given time, and he’s not far behind right now. He’s investing in his future right now gaining terrific experience and going back for his MBA. My wife and I were neck and neck for many, many years until she got some breaks and really took off. I can also tell you when we married in 1985 we earned less than $30k/year combined, split about evenly. And we were extremely happy! Nobody married up or down. She loves her work, so she keeps doing it. I don’t have to work, so I no longer do (but I gladly would if I found something I’d enjoy as much as she enjoys her work). It was about the relationship, not finances. If the relationship is healthy the rest takes care of itself, in our case. We’ve always lived well within our means and never wanted for anything important.
Nineforty Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 I'm getting married the 28th and really want to go to the game the next day. I'm told there are a lot of things to do the next day (there are, sigh).
teef Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 7:55 PM, Augie said: It’s not that we are not the “breadwinner”. We all work(ed), and my son will almost certainly out-earn his GF given time, and he’s not far behind right now. He’s investing in his future right now gaining terrific experience and going back for his MBA. My wife and I were neck and neck for many, many years until she got some breaks and really took off. I can also tell you when we married in 1985 we earned less than $30k/year combined, split about evenly. And we were extremely happy! Nobody married up or down. She loves her work, so she keeps doing it. I don’t have to work, so I no longer do (but I gladly would if I found something I’d enjoy as much as she enjoys her work). It was about the relationship, not finances. If the relationship is healthy the rest takes care of itself, in our case. We’ve always lived well within our means and never wanted for anything important. Expand yeah...the married up vs down comments are particular. his motives are totally financial. that's not the whole of it. for many it depends on parenting philosophies, educational levels, material wants, interests. etc. there's a lot that can go into a marriage to make it good or bad. i just don't know how anyone can boil it down to one specific as he had. either one of two explanations to mac...either he's been burned very badly before, (most of us have) or he's just scared/non-understanding of women. 2
Augie Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 8:08 PM, teef said: yeah...the married up vs down comments are particular. his motives are totally financial. that's not the whole of it. for many it depends on parenting philosophies, educational levels, material wants, interests. etc. there's a lot that can go into a marriage to make it good or bad. i just don't know how anyone can boil it down to one specific as he had. either one of two explanations to mac...either he's been burned very badly before, (most of us have) or he's just scared/non-understanding of women. Expand That’s why I’m happy my son is living with his GF and they are taking their time. Marry quickly and you run the risk of not uncovering all the little things that could annoy you to death! Find out first, then decide if you should pull the trigger. My parents would have freaked if I went that path, but my 91 year old mother now see the benefits. Since we did NOT live together first, I’m glad we took 5 years to grow together before having kids. That can be a real stresser! Don’t rush into any aspect of the relationship!
Captain Hindsight Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 5:57 PM, Royale with Cheese said: How much are you offering? Expand What does 5 bucks get me?
Augie Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 8:18 PM, Captain Hindsight said: What does 5 bucks get me? Expand A Krafty Special! 1
MacGyver Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 7:55 PM, Augie said: It’s not that we are not the “breadwinner”. We all work(ed), and my son will almost certainly out-earn his GF given time, and he’s not far behind right now. He’s investing in his future right now gaining terrific experience and going back for his MBA. My wife and I were neck and neck for many, many years until she got some breaks and really took off. I can also tell you when we married in 1985 we earned less than $30k/year combined, split about evenly. And we were extremely happy! Nobody married up or down. She loves her work, so she keeps doing it. I don’t have to work, so I no longer do (but I gladly would if I found something I’d enjoy as much as she enjoys her work). It was about the relationship, not finances. If the relationship is healthy the rest takes care of itself, in our case. We’ve always lived well within our means and never wanted for anything important. Expand You found a good one that's for sure. It's a rare thing these days. I knew at an early age watching the dynamics of my huge family that marriage and children were definitely not for me. And given the state of our culture these days, I feel like I really chose the correct path. 1
Royale with Cheese Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 7:52 PM, teef said: you really know how to open a man's wallet...don't you? Expand Many people call it a gift, I call it a curse. On 6/18/2019 at 8:18 PM, Captain Hindsight said: What does 5 bucks get me? Expand It depends on the $5. Is it all in ones? One 5 dollar bill? 20 quarters?
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