Cugalabanza Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 God, I hate weddings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 LMAO at all of your replies. Geez, you guys are making two ROFL assumptions: Assumption No.1: Women think logically at all times. Assumption No. 2: Women think logically about their wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Cat Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I got married last October. There's no rhyme or reason to what people give or how much they spend. I think $100 is standard, and it's what I've given (turn 29 in three weeks, I've had 3-5 weddings each summer for the last five years). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I wonder when the wedding night video will be available? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 LMAO at all of your replies. Geez, you guys are making two ROFL assumptions: Assumption No.1: Women think logically at all times. Assumption No. 2: Women think logically about their wedding. Exactly. Let alone a lesbian marriage as in this case. Double whammy when there is no groom to temper the bride. "Gee honey, maybe you should let this go and not text them for the receipt." As in my earlier link, probably why the divorce rates skyrocket with same sex female marriages... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTS Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 One of the benefits of being first generation Polish-American is getting married because Polish people go nuts with weddings gifts. It's like they need to out-do each other. On average, we got about $150-$200 per head from my Polish relatives and friends. My wife's family is half Polish-American and half Italian-American. I've heard Italians are the same way with weddings. One of the funny trends we noticed was that foreign-born guests gave the most on average, first generation guests gave the second most, followed by second generation and so on. Another trend we noticed was that the guests that we would consider most affluent gave far less than the normal guest. We also had 3-5 guests that barely covered half their cost of being there but we expected that and would never hold it against anyone. Needless to say, our entire wedding and three week Hawaiian vacation were well covered and we still banked a big chunk of change after that. When it comes to giving gifts, we typically give $200 unless the bride and/or groom attended our wedding. In that case, we usually give the same amount they gave us. As a guest you should take into consideration the venue, open-bar or cash bar, quality of meals that will be served, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Toasters and coffee pots. !@#$ you if you want more than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralph W. Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) I always thought the receipt gets put in with the gift at weddings for chance of a duplicate. Edited June 24, 2013 by Ralph W. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Congrats to people getting $200, $300, and $500 from "friends" for their weddings. Freaking absurd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Congrats to people getting $200, $300, and $500 from "friends" for their weddings. Freaking absurd. It's a ponzi scheme. Like my mom said, whatever you get back you'll have to give one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I got married last October. There's no rhyme or reason to what people give or how much they spend. I think $100 is standard, and it's what I've given (turn 29 in three weeks, I've had 3-5 weddings each summer for the last five years). I've been giving $100 ($200 if I opt for my +1) or the equivalent value in gifts from the registry at each wedding I've attended. Looks like we are the cheap ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 It's a ponzi scheme. Like my mom said, whatever you get back you'll have to give one day. Even the BJ from the bridesmaid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Cat Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) I've been giving $100 ($200 if I opt for my +1) or the equivalent value in gifts from the registry at each wedding I've attended. Looks like we are the cheap ones. The cheapest gifts my wife and I got were from our and our parents' wealthiest friends. Husband worked for Milcreek Township his entire career, wife was a secretary/receptionist, three sons: $250 Husband and wife, both attorneys, zero kids: $50 My cousin who makes north of $400K as an attorney in DC, who made a fuss about bringing her (step) kids after we specifically requested no kids: no gift at all. ' So yeah. No rhyme. No reason. But it's really hard not to judge/question what some people were thinking, I will admit. Edited June 24, 2013 by taC giB ehT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 The cheapest gifts my wife and I got were from our and our parents' wealthiest friends. Husband worked for Milcreek Township his entire career, wife was a secretary/receptionist, three sons: $250 Husband and wife, both attorneys, zero kids: $50 My cousin who makes north of $400K as an attorney in DC, who made a fuss about bringing her (step) kids after we specifically requested no kids: no gift at all. ' So yeah. No rhyme. No reason. But it's really hard not to judge/question what some people were thinking, I will admit. Especially what people are thinking that are judging people based on their gift. My wife and I were thankful for any gifts. Seeing our wedding was in Chicago and most of the guests were from out of town just having them there to share our special day was a great enough gift. I know that sounds sappy but that's just how we felt. I guess it was a different time 30 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Cat Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Especially what people are thinking that are judging people based on their gift. My wife and I were thankful for any gifts. Seeing our wedding was in Chicago and most of the guests were from out of town just having them there to share our special day was a great enough gift. I know that sounds sappy but that's just how we felt. I guess it was a different time 30 years ago. I don't understand. So I'm wrong to feel guilty whenever I raised an eyebrow at a very small number of our gifts? Fasle is any assumption that my wife and I (particularly my wife) weren't over-the-moon thankful for everything and everyone who traveled for our wedding too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Especially what people are thinking that are judging people based on their gift. My wife and I were thankful for any gifts. Seeing our wedding was in Chicago and most of the guests were from out of town just having them there to share our special day was a great enough gift. I know that sounds sappy but that's just how we felt. I guess it was a different time 30 years ago. Chef, I know exactly what you mean. My wedding (16 years ago) was in Georgia and ALL of my family and close friends had to fly in to attend. It was a pleasure that they cared enough to come, and I could not have cared less what gifts they did or did not bring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I don't understand. So I'm wrong to feel guilty whenever I raised an eyebrow at a very small number of our gifts? Fasle is any assumption that my wife and I (particularly my wife) weren't over-the-moon thankful for everything and everyone who traveled for our wedding too. Guilt wasn't the emotion I got from you. It appeared more disappointment that people who make good money gave you "cheap" or no gifts at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Cat Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Guilt wasn't the emotion I got from you. It appeared more disappointment that people who make good money gave you "cheap" or no gifts at all. It was disappointing/confusing in that if we're not all playing by the same rule book, why play at all. Guilt from "well, we were very grateful they traveled to be with us in the first place." I do believe being present is the best present (long, self-satisfied Carollaesque sniff). But c'mon. You open the gifts. You receive them. And some make you go "hmm." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanM.D. Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 There should be zero formal expectations for wedding gifts. The guests receive an "invitation" to the wedding/reception....NOT a ticket that they have to 'purchase.' I concede that most couples expect gifts from the majority of their guests....but to get whiny when a guest gives you an 'inadequate' gift is really lame. If you are inviting them to what is arguably the most important day of your life, then I'd think there is some basis to the relationship. The brides here clearly invited an colleague/former boss and not a 'friend.' Temper your expectations or don't invite them at all. Really lame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanmiami(oh) Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 As many have said already, you can read all the ettiquitte and gift advice stuff in the world but there is no set rules that apply to every situation. My wife and I have attended well over 20 weddings in the last 5 years and been invited to another 5+ that we did not attend. They've been everything from high class formal affairs in big cities to low budget casual receptions at private residences. Some of the low budget casual ones were the most fun and special. Yeah it's been very expensive as we had to travel to many, but I can't even fathom not giving some kind of gift. For our wedding, we were fortunate enough to have a big blowout. My wife is an only child and her parents are well off. They had nothing when they got married so needless to say there wasn't much that was spared. Our wedding was actually featured in a popular wedding publication, and id consider it a fairly high class traditional wedding. There were plenty of people that brought no gift. Others who are pretty close family or friends that are well off gave little. We didn't care and don't hold that against them in any way but for me personally, I would feel cheap for not doing at least something. We got some wonderful gifts from close friends that were not expensive, but obviously had a lot of thought put into them and were very personal. I think in this case the gift basket people definitely come off looking cheap and that it was something thrown together at the last minute. However, in no way was it appropriate for the newlyweds to basically "call them out on it". Both at fault and the givers probably should have skipped the reception and sent the basket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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