BillsFanNC Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Because the ultrasounds seem to be the most likely times that you're going to get bad or questionable news about the baby's health. And you don't want your wife/gf/whatever to be alone for that. I learned this the hard way. This is true, my wife made me go to all the ultrasound appointments for my kids, of course she is a medical professional so I just do as I'm told in that area. Plus it's pretty cool to get a sneak peek at your kid, especially if it's your first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 This is true, my wife made me go to all the ultrasound appointments for my kids, of course she is a medical professional so I just do as I'm told in that area. Plus it's pretty cool to get a sneak peek at your kid, especially if it's your first. Rookie. My wife had 2 'C' sections, I was there at both. The second one was the week-end of Hurricane Andrew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadCap Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Number one piece of advice I can give you: you will hear TONS of negative comments for every one positive you hear. Things like, "you won't have time to do X,Y,Z anymore", "you never have any money". etc. etc. Don't believe the hype, the good FAR outweighs the bad. By an astronomical unit. Yes, you won't be able to stay out until 4 in the morning every weekend anymore, but that doesn't mean your life is over. You just have to plan things a bit better is all. Enjoy! It's going to be the best thing to ever happen to you. Welcome to the daddy club... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Rookie. My wife had 2 'C' sections, I was there at both. The second one was the week-end of Hurricane Andrew. We delivered our last two at home. (no midwife) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 I might be joining this club pretty soon. My girlfriend and I just started trying. I have lots of thoughts and feelings flying around in my head. Excitement is definitely in there. Fear is in there for sure too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Number one piece of advice I can give you: you will hear TONS of negative comments for every one positive you hear. Things like, "you won't have time to do X,Y,Z anymore", "you never have any money". etc. etc. Don't believe the hype, the good FAR outweighs the bad. By an astronomical unit. Yes, you won't be able to stay out until 4 in the morning every weekend anymore, but that doesn't mean your life is over. You just have to plan things a bit better is all. Enjoy! It's going to be the best thing to ever happen to you. Welcome to the daddy club... There is probably a lot of truth to what you say but I thank my wife every day for not wanting kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebug Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 There is probably a lot of truth to what you say but I thank my wife every day for not wanting kids. Yeah, if only your mother was more like your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 I have lots of thoughts and feelings flying around in my head. Excitement is definitely in there. that means she's doing it right There is probably a lot of truth to what you say but I thank my wife every day for not wanting kids. Us too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 You aren't going to like my advice but you asked for it so here it is. Your gal is waaaaaay more scared than you are. So quit being a whiny B word, nut up and be a pillar of support like a man should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadCap Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 There is probably a lot of truth to what you say but I thank my wife every day for not wanting kids. If that is your and your wife's choice, then good for you Chef. The worst thing would be to want children and not be able to have them. I have a good friend at work who confided to me that he and his wife talked about should they/should they not, and since they didn't, I told him that he had to make peace with that decision or it would drive him crazy. In the OP's case, this is no longer a decision for him. Children really do change you for the better, and that is a blessing that comes with them. There is nothing I enjoy more than chasing my two year old around the house. We have a ton of fun together. The only regret I have is that I can't spend all day playing with him. I know some folks at work who B word about having to go to soccer games, or school plays, and I just don't understand it. I wait all day for he chance to leave work and hang out with the boy. I wish everyone did... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Biggest piece of advice I can give you is to remember that this is a HUGE change and it's no longer about YOU. I don't mean for that to sound scary - it's not. But your life changes and the focus of things becomes the family and the kid. It's not about when you're going to find time for yourself to do something you like to do - you take that when you can get it but there are very few times when you get a 'day off'. Example - the times you're going to look forward to are things like a trip to the zoo with the family and even then you're still going to have plenty of responsibility. You're going to probably be hard pressed to spend every Saturday with the guys going mountain biking like you do now - the focus will shift. I think the guys who have the biggest problems with fatherhood somehow think that once they have a kid life is still going to be pretty much the same just with a kid - no such thing. Because they think that way they get upset that they aren't mountain biking with the guys every Saturday or if they are it's causing problems because you're leaving Mom to do everything while you take time for yourself - neither is a good situation. The sooner you can understand that it's not about you and really enjoy the zoo trip rather than the Saturday with the guys the better off you'll be - welcome to a new stage of your life. BINGO! Nice post. I will extend that, one should serve their community in the same way. HA! You think that will sink in to many? Because the ultrasounds seem to be the most likely times that you're going to get bad or questionable news about the baby's health. And you don't want your wife/gf/whatever to be alone for that. I learned this the hard way. Never dawned on us. Our first, my wife had complications... Month of bedrest, placenta privia... "The Triple screen" came back fine for spinal b... Yet, the numbers where off the chart the other way... Hinting possible Down's Syndrome... We sweated out the time until an amnio could be done and then the results... My son was healthy... But, man was it a test. No doubt we would do the testing again, we would want to be prepared with everything needed from the get-go at birth. You aren't going to like my advice but you asked for it so here it is. Your gal is waaaaaay more scared than you are. So quit being a whiny B word, nut up and be a pillar of support like a man should. :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Christ Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) Yeah, its the best thing ever and my lil man is only 3 months. I love seeing him smile......it takes all the stress and crap I had to deal with away that I see on a daily basis. Now they will make you scream sometimes but don't feel bad we all do this. You can't fix everything, you won't know all the answers, try not to kill people when they give you advice and they will give you much unwanted advice. Just remember "it's my kid." and if all that isn't worth it........you just became a hero and didn't have to try that hard =) Edited November 5, 2010 by Jerry Christ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) that means she's doing it right Fear is in there for sure too! Maybe she's doing it a little too right. Edited November 5, 2010 by gringo starr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Oh yeah....one word: Ferber http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PromoTheRobot Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) I have but one piece of advice for when they hit the terrible twos (and threes and fours)...never give into a child's tantrum. It's tough and the kid will scream his or her damn head off, but I really believe rewarding bad behavior sets a bad example that will continue through life. What we did with our daughter when she would get into one of her tantrums is say in a calm voice "we don't hear hear when you whine." Eventually they calm down and ask you for whatever it is they want in a calmer voice. Then you praise them for asking nice and decide whether you can honor their request. Now you can't always give a kid what they want, but the important thing is to make them feel like you at least hear them and take their desires seriously. That's where you introduce the idea of compromise. For example, it's bed time and the kid doesn't want to go to bed. You offer a deal that you give them 15 more minutes but they have to go to bed without a fuss. Worked well for us and it teaches thm that acting reasonably will get them more than pitching a fit. PTR Edited November 5, 2010 by PromoTheRobot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilsBills Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Say goodbye to a good night's sleep and hello to a newfound joy that comes with your child's laughter... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stussy109 Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 If cavemen could do it, so can you...You will be fine. Be like a lizard and be ready to adapt to all situations, and not have a schedule. actually the first 6 months may be the easiest because it sleeps all the time, so it will give you ample time to adjust. Be prepared to be sleep deprived, that is the only warnng i can give you. Sometimes the baby's grandma's still think they are mom's and you need to kindly remind them to let you be. There are a million different ways to raise a kid, none of them being exactly right. Have fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 If that is your and your wife's choice, then good for you Chef. The worst thing would be to want children and not be able to have them. I have a good friend at work who confided to me that he and his wife talked about should they/should they not, and since they didn't, I told him that he had to make peace with that decision or it would drive him crazy. In the OP's case, this is no longer a decision for him. Children really do change you for the better, and that is a blessing that comes with them. There is nothing I enjoy more than chasing my two year old around the house. We have a ton of fun together. The only regret I have is that I can't spend all day playing with him. I know some folks at work who B word about having to go to soccer games, or school plays, and I just don't understand it. I wait all day for he chance to leave work and hang out with the boy. I wish everyone did... That decision was made before we got married. Close to 30 years ago. I was very young and when she told me she didn't want to have kids I said "sure." She very well could have said that she wanted 10 and I still would have said "sure." Could have turned out to be a disaster but all these years later it turns out my love for her is greater than any desire I have to have children which is not hard seeing I still to this day have no desire to have kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Rooney Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 .......nothing like holding your child in your arms when they look up at you and say " I love you Daddy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typical TBD Guy Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 You should seriously have a talk with your fiance about the option of abortion. My advice would be to wait until you have a career or at least a steady job before playing grownup. The financial and emotional toll that just one child brings is gigantic. Also, why marry so young? Play the field a bit to really see the variety of women that are out there for you and with which you might have greater compatibility. Don't just pick the first girl who decides to put out. Also, as most young adults get older, they undergo a lot of personality changes from age 20 or so until 30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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