NCDAWG Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Been married for 16 years, and have not talked to my mother-in-law for 6 of them. Was just curious how many of us are in the same boat. And the reason for not speaking to her, amongst other reasons-teaching our daughter to put out her cig butts and telling my wife "hey it's OK to lie to your husband." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Biggest lesson I learned from my first marriage: don't underestimate the importance of how you get along with your wife's family and vice versa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Biggest lesson I learned from my first marriage: don't underestimate the importance of how you get along with your wife's family and vice versa. I agree ... my mother-in-law is now passed away but my mariried life was much smoother because I had a two way relationship with her that was positive, respectful and loving. You have enough to worry about with a spouse, it is a blessing to be able to say this is not one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I've been married for over 16 years. I got along great with my in-laws from the beginning. Father-in-law died 9 years ago. I had a situation with my mother-in-law two years ago that basically caused me to write her off. I flew into Buffalo for my mother's funeral and planned to rent a car for the few days that I was going to be there. M-I-L told me not to bother, that I could use her car while I was in town. I said O.K. Had a friend pick me up at the airport and take me to her house. As we arrive, she's walking to her car with her boyfriend. Smiling and laughing, she shakes the car keys at me and says "I bet you want these, but you're not getting them. We have to go to the reservation for cigarettes and have some other things to do." It was one of the most bizarre situations that I've ever experienced. I assume that her boyfriend had influenced her decision, but I just said "whatever" and left. Haven't had a conversation with her since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 WTF! Both of these situations revolve around cigs. I must be doing something wrong, I have been married 15 years (16 in May) and have no such problems. I am not judging anybody here... But man I am mortified... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I've been married for over 16 years. I got along great with my in-laws from the beginning. Father-in-law died 9 years ago. I had a situation with my mother-in-law two years ago that basically caused me to write her off. I flew into Buffalo for my mother's funeral and planned to rent a car for the few days that I was going to be there. M-I-L told me not to bother, that I could use her car while I was in town. I said O.K. Had a friend pick me up at the airport and take me to her house. As we arrive, she's walking to her car with her boyfriend. Smiling and laughing, she shakes the car keys at me and says "I bet you want these, but you're not getting them. We have to go to the reservation for cigarettes and have some other things to do." It was one of the most bizarre situations that I've ever experienced. I assume that her boyfriend had influenced her decision, but I just said "whatever" and left. Haven't had a conversation with her since. That is the strangest story I have ever read about. Your M.I.L. seems very mature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 That is the strangest story I have ever read about. Your M.I.L. seems very mature. Ya, bizarre What is it with people?... You woould think she would have picked him up from the airport too... He had to get a friend do that. One would think that people would fall over backwards to help an out of town guest, especially when they are in town for a parent's funneral. BLZFAN4LIFE: Did she attend your mother's funneral? Some surely live in a world where service to others is non-existant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I've been married for over 16 years. I got along great with my in-laws from the beginning. Father-in-law died 9 years ago. I had a situation with my mother-in-law two years ago that basically caused me to write her off. I flew into Buffalo for my mother's funeral and planned to rent a car for the few days that I was going to be there. M-I-L told me not to bother, that I could use her car while I was in town. I said O.K. Had a friend pick me up at the airport and take me to her house. As we arrive, she's walking to her car with her boyfriend. Smiling and laughing, she shakes the car keys at me and says "I bet you want these, but you're not getting them. We have to go to the reservation for cigarettes and have some other things to do." It was one of the most bizarre situations that I've ever experienced. I assume that her boyfriend had influenced her decision, but I just said "whatever" and left. Haven't had a conversation with her since. Wow! I would say "I understand, I just hope my wife doesn't run into the same problem when her mom passes...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCDAWG Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Had the same experience when my Dad passed several years ago...Had my Mother over twice a week to spend time with our 11 year old daughter. She snapped one day and started yelling at her and my daughter call my work crying saying Nana wants nothing more to do with me. So we don't speak to her either. Can't tell my daughter to stand up for herself and continue to talk to the woman who yelled at her. Barring an apology, I don't see either one coming to a conclusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chandler#81 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Very little contact with my Outlaws and that just how the Mrs. wants it. OK by me. Quick story: My F-I-L died a few years back. We went to the funeral home before guests arrived for the initial viewing. It was pretty rough for a few minutes, as you can imagine. After the tears subsided some, I put my hands on my wifes shoulders and said "Sir, you gave me the greatest gift of my life and I'll always remember you for it... I loved that Harley!" It broke everyone up and my sisters-in-law all hugged my wife and told her how sorry they were for her.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Had the same experience when my Dad passed several years ago...Had my Mother over twice a week to spend time with our 11 year old daughter. She snapped one day and started yelling at her and my daughter call my work crying saying Nana wants nothing more to do with me. So we don't speak to her either. Can't tell my daughter to stand up for herself and continue to talk to the woman who yelled at her. Barring an apology, I don't see either one coming to a conclusion. You cut your mother out of your life because she yelled at someone once while she was mourning the death of her spouse? WTF. Relationships are a two way street folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 You cut your mother out of your life because she yelled at someone once while she was mourning the death of her spouse? WTF. Relationships are a two way street folks. Exactly... WOW! Not to be on the OP, but KD is right... It is a two-way street. Going right to the silent treatment is not the way to go. Maybe the problem is not the other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I get along with my in-laws fine. They're dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PromoTheRobot Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I got along great with my in-laws, until a family matter came up and they obviously sided with their daughter. I still get along with them but I don't trust them anymore like I used to. I learned their commitment to me is conditional. PTR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOTONE Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I get along great with my in laws, but we just had our first child and this is her first grand child and I can kind of see us butting heads on some issues. By the way Bills Fans there is another BUFFALO BILLS supporter in the world. My wife and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl on 1/14. All are well. Sorry OP didn't mean to hijack your thread. Continue the Family bashing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOTONE Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Awesome--congrats!! Just keep the kid away from the in-laws, which is apparently the lesson learned here. It is impossible. She is always over. It is ok so far but the pop ins get a little annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Passepartout Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Keep in mind that in-laws want attention. Like your own folks do. Get along with them. And that all they want is attention. My sister loved her late mother in law til her passing nine years ago. And my brother gets along with his in-laws great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Ya, bizarre What is it with people?... You woould think she would have picked him up from the airport too... He had to get a friend do that. One would think that people would fall over backwards to help an out of town guest, especially when they are in town for a parent's funneral. BLZFAN4LIFE: Did she attend your mother's funneral? Some surely live in a world where service to others is non-existant. Yes, she did go to the funeral. My being there for the funeral (after she insisted that I use her car, I would have gladly rented a ride) was what made her behavior even more stunning. It took quite a while to convince my wife that I wasn't joking when I called her to tell her what happened. She really let her Mom have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Had the same experience when my Dad passed several years ago...Had my Mother over twice a week to spend time with our 11 year old daughter. She snapped one day and started yelling at her and my daughter call my work crying saying Nana wants nothing more to do with me. So we don't speak to her either. Can't tell my daughter to stand up for herself and continue to talk to the woman who yelled at her. Barring an apology, I don't see either one coming to a conclusion. If your daughter would take the time to learn how to put out her cigarette properly, none of this would have happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Yes, she did go to the funeral. My being there for the funeral (after she insisted that I use her car, I would have gladly rented a ride) was what made her behavior even more stunning. It took quite a while to convince my wife that I wasn't joking when I called her to tell her what happened. She really let her Mom have it. No doubt! I would have called Enterprise to come drop me off a car ASAP. What did you end up doing for a ride? Kinda sucks because you were right there at the airport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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