The professor had a secret crush on the Skipper, and allowing the group to be rescued would thwart his plan to sneak his "little buddy" into the skippers poopdeck.
Carole Brady had a well known gay husband, she was secretly dating/molesting her stepson Greg and needed to be available for him and wanted to be ready in case Sam the butcher made an unannounced "delivery"
Grannnie needed to get her funk on, and "California is the place to be", Jethro was also in a conundrum about his sexuality and the Tenneseeans would never understand.
Mrs. Garret was running a brothel, pay was fair, bouncers were bigger
"schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer" Loosely translated is "Spank me, Slap me, make me whine"
My question, WHy didn't Jeanie just throw a spell on Capt whatsisname to make him hers?