I have no problem believing OPs story, i actually was buying it untill this little gem...
Then becomes defensive with his "I know you are, but what am I? Na-na Na-nà boo boo" schtick which kills all credibility Imo... You wouldnt of asked if he hadnt offered, amiright?!
Ant hoo, we all know that if aint walgreens, it aint happened anyways!