I means that if Fergy was a literal dog I'd hit him with a rolled up newspaper. No points, just a rolled up newspaper upside the head, one sharp thwack.
1. Fergy has no soul.
2. His snarkiness was aimed directly at your nutsack.
C. He's lucky I didn't give him 30 days in the hole.
6. I am not a fan of fruited wines, no sagacious for me. (I'll ignore this oblivious bribe attempt)