HopsGuy

Great. Now I have going through my head.

The crazy eyes were the affliction I mentioned. She just got old, and for women on broadcast news that just can't happen. One day, they're just gone.

It's like a government stimulus package: lots of effort with little return. Anyway, nice to see Bobbie Batista still getting "work" despite her affliction.

(NSFW) McLovin!

How 'bout some coffee, Johnny?

Comcast Tribute Here

I've been a Phillies fan for 30+ years now. When I was a kid, I could get the broadcasts after the sun went down by holding onto the radio dial and putting my foot on the refrigerator. (1210 WCAU was a pretty strong radio station to make it all the way to Olean.) Listening to Harry, Richie Ashburn, Andy Musser & Chris Wheeler was fun even when the Phillies weren't really Phightin'. I guess that my childhood is now completely over. "Swing and a long drive to left. There it is! Number 500! The career 500th homerun for MICHAEL JACK SCHMIDT!!!" RIP Harry

This is the sting operation they're running in Naples? In this economy? Where is a SW FL house flipper to turn to get some relaxation?

And yet he had the same score on the 17 & 18 as Tiger (+2). It was a disappointing finish. BTW, Tiger has never won a major when coming from behind. It may be tougher to defend a lead, but how come people aren't melting down when they see Tiger moving up the leaderboard like with Jack? Anyway, I hate it when someone wins a playoff without making a birdie. I guess I'm just bitter. At 4 PM, it was shaping up to be the greatest Masters ever. Instead the winner parred 18 with a lucky bounce off a tree. That's golf. Cabrera & Daly now have a combined lifetime Grand Slam. I don't know what that means, either.

Todd Hamilton dropped one in the drink on 12, then spun it back off the back fringe for his 3. Nothing to it!

It's the day we celebrate the risen lord. Nobody beats the Riz. Anyone going to try deep-frying peeps?

Congrats! You do now realize that you are considered a professional under USGA rules. I think.

Good advice, Bobby. You get those things right and everything else after that is cream cheese. I would expand on dev's advice and go with Dale Carnegie's: "Ask yourself, 'What's the worst that can happen?' Prepare to accept it. Then improve upon the worst." It's from his timeless book, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". Oh yeah, and wear sunscreen.

Wholesale conversion of Harris Teeter. Make it happen, Danny!

You know those Pentecostal snake handlers? It's always been my belief that Mark was really talking about this stuff. AmIRight?

Drai's in the basement of Bill's Gambling House & Saloon (formerly the Barbary Coast). Best night is Thursday (Friday morning). Opens at 1 AM, but really gets going around 3-4. Trust me.

Another one from that movie (one of my favorites)... "I'm pretty cheesed off that jockey fell off that damn horse, Sid!" "Let it Ride" Hey ****, two of our guys died trying to find you all right?

Pay the man, Shirley.

I'll do you one better: "Heineken? F*&k that s&^t! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

"It would appear that the strain was more than he could bear. "

Sorry. I should have said, "GET A PAYING JOB" to go along with your internships. My apologies for being so vague.

Pffffftttt. When I was in college, I always had plenty of (my own) money. You know why? BECAUSE I HAD JOBS!!! I worked co-op for the electrical utility, I tended bar, and I was the maintenance guy at a Catholic school. And don't say you don't have time. I majored in electrical engineering and also earned an Army commission in ROTC. Each of those is demanding enough on its own. But enough about me... Get to work kid. You'll eat just fine. Kids these days. Then again, maybe all that work made me such a curmudgeon at 38?

I recently was having a conversation with a young lady about wants & needs and Maslow's hierarchy and some such. I told her of a conversation I had with my buddy about what women really want in a man and (for the most part) it boils down to security and inspiration. And here's basically how I put it: "What women look for in a mate is either security, inspiration or ideally, both. They want to feel protected as well as entertained." (Wait for it) "Just like a child." Mind you I had a few drinks in me, but there you go. Also after getting a girl's number: "What was your name again?" Yup hard to believe, but I'm still single.

I'm a big fan of the M & N switcheroo. The Auto Correct one is good, too. I would change this guy's wife's name from "Wendy" to "Sarah'. He called IT to get it fixed! Another one someone here once mentioned is changing "if" to "if you think". That's fantastic.

Cartman NSFW!