you’re upset your wife put her dying mother ahead of you at a holiday?
my father committed suicide when I was 26. His first attempt was when I was 14. I probably drove him to bry Lin or the er a dozen times to get his stomach pumped, treat his wrists when he slit them etc. he finally succeeded with nitrous oxide. Peaceful way to go and open casket.
Group therapy always helped me. I’ve always been a level headed person and seem to have handled better than most. Helping others going through the shock of loved ones always got me through tough times. You never get over it just through it is the best advice I can give