BRH

That's pretty much what I was. I also had issues with authority. Loner 75% Punk/Rebel 69% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 44% Geek 31% Goth 25% Stoner 13% Drama nerd 0% Ghetto gangsta 0%

Roenick may have been taken "out of context," but he's been in the league and talking to the media long enough to know how that works. Every time I look at JR I think of one of the best comebacks I've ever heard a player make -- from Patrick Roy a few years ago: "Yeah, I thought Jeremy Roenick was saying something to me out there, but I couldn't understand him because I had my two Stanley Cup rings plugging up my ears."

I personally think you get a better view from the top of the Hancock tower than Sears (Hancock is farther north, right in the middle of the Magnificent Mile, and there's more things to see on the north side). For pizza I'd go to Gino's on Rush.

Offense all-time: Dan Marino Offense present: Tom Brady Defense all-time: Bryan Cox Defense present: Rodney Harrison Coach all-time: Pete Carroll Coach present: Mike Martz

Does she really bat for the other team? Pity. A friend and I followed her during the back 9 at Locust Hill last week.

It was actually only 1,105 words. Maybe it just SEEMED like 10,000.

A friend of mine went down to Pittsburgh when he was a kid to see the Cardinals play the Pirates in a weekend series. They stayed at the Cards' team hotel and one morning he saw Red Schoendienst in the lobby (this was during the early '80s when Red was a coach). Not doing anything, not talking to anybody, just hanging around. He excitedly ran up to him and said, real respectfully, "Mr. Schoendienst, could I please have your autograph, sir?" Ol' Red just looked right through him and walked off. Uh oh I think BF's gonna be in this thread soon. On the other hand, I once met Stan Musial at a celebrity softball game in St. Louis during the late '70s and the Man couldn't have been nicer to everyone, chatting up all the kids and signing 'til his hand near fell off. For free. They don't make 'em like Stan the Man anymore.

I thought OJ held out that summer? I remember going to Niagara on a summer camp field trip and being all excited, then pissed because O.J. wasn't there. Didn't he miss all of camp that year? Not trying to play gotcha. Just wondering if maybe you had the year wrong?

"The Boston gig is cancelled. I wouldn't worry about it. It's not a big college town."

John "Stumpy" Pepys.

I'm still laughing about this part: How could you call him the chick in this relationship, Chuck? A chick would have taken six paragraphs to describe what Real so succinctly set forth there!

You have one too many players on your first list. Kobe belongs on your second list.

I enjoy haiku But too many poets here Can't count to seven.

Would you believe she's 30 years old now? Man do I feel old.

I got my last autograph when I was in high school. After that it just felt funny to even think about getting them. I remember when Bobby Grich came back to Silver for an appearance. He was signing autographs in the concourse during the game and I waited for a little lull, then tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Mr. Grich, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed watching you play baseball because you always played hard and you played the game the right way. Thanks for the memories and I just wanted to shake your hand." Didn't ask for an autograph. He looked me in the eye, shook my hand and said, "Thank you. Thank you SO much." I remember that moment more than I remember any of the autographs I ever got, and when I was a kid I was lucky enough to get Willie Mays and Stan Musial, among others, back in a time when everyone signed freely without charging anything. Another time -- and I told this story once before -- I was walking on the Fisher campus when I came upon Don Beebe setting up signs for his House of Speed Camp. I said something stupid like "You're Don Beebe!" He was very gracious and shook my hand. I didn't stay to talk to him because the conversation probably would have gone like this: ME: Remember when you played that Super Bowl against Dallas? DB: Yeah...? ME: And Leon Lett picked up that fumble and started running to the end zone? DB: Yeah...? ME: And you started chasing after him? DB: Yeah...? ME: And then you caught up to him and knocked it away just before he scored? DB: Yeah...? ME: That was awesome.

Good memory! I wanted to say Chris Burkett but I knew I'd be wrong. I wonder if Ronnie dropped the ball after everyone signed it.

All this reminds me of the story about the time, back in the days of the Bickering Bills, one of the black players on the Bills -- and now I can't even remember who it was -- went around the locker room getting a football signed by all of the black players on the team, and only the black players. Reed wanted to sign it and the player told him he couldn't because one of his parents was white. Maybe that soured him on autographs.

"No one wanks higher in Wome!"

He was really short with me when I asked him.

Damn straight. Since Kelly retired after his first season, Moulds has had to catch passes from Todd Collins, Alex Van Pelt, Rob Johnson, Doug Flutie, Rob Johnson, Doug Flutie, Rob Johnson, Alex Van Pelt, and, except for a few games, Drew Bledsoe lying on his back. Meanwhile Marvin Harrison, for example, has been catching passes from the same guy almost his whole career.

www.jumptheshark.com

I hear JP Losman is pretty cool about answering phone calls from fans.

JAY: What, she live in Canada or something? How come I don't know about this? SILENT BF: B word, what you don't know about me I could just about squeeze into the Grand !@#$ing Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? Did you?

No Bills as-hole stories, really. But I do remember the mini-camp at Fairport High in the spring of 1987, which was Jimbo's first mini-camp with the Bills. I got his autograph on that poster thingy they handed out at the gate, then I went over to get some of the defensive players to sign. Fred Smerlas took my poster, looked at it and laughed. "Hey Bruce," he said to Bruce Smith, who was standing next to him, "look at this." Bruce looked. Jimbo's signature took up half the damn page. Bruce laughed. "The whole page, huh?" he said, and shook his head.

And I can sense this thread is about to go downhill quickly...