John from Riverside Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 My son will have gone through the public school system every year....and will be a senior next year. He pretty much had to in order to play on the school sports teams and have a chance at a scholarship to go to college. We are taking my daughter a different route....a couple of things: - My daughter has never been a great student...shoot she has never been an average student. Too many distractions with other kids.....too much drama....too much time in the counselor's office for this and for that. I didn't know until just yesterday but early in this school year (8th grade) her school counsilor RECOMMENDED home school to my wife but never bothered to tell me. - My daughter will not be going to college....not on a academic scholarship or a athletic scholarship....she is not inclined in either of those areas......what she does great is sing, perform, and promote her church....those are her passions and what she does well. - Things have taken off so well in this area that she is going to start getting really busy with those things. Music CD nearly finished and will be spending the summer traveling to various churches, promotions, and singing at several functions at the various indian reservations we have in our area and possibly as far as Amsterdam. "Little Spirit" as she has been named by the local tribes put in the work last summer promoting and now things are going to pick up. This will extend past summer and into what would be the next academic school year as a freshman. My brother has the connections to really make things take off for her beyond that. - Her uncle (manager, promoter, singing coach, practically 3rd parent is convinced that if she goes to regular academic school she is going to totally lose focus on the plan they have set forth and my wife and I are convinced based on the things went in school for her this year. She is just too much of a mother hen to her friends and cant stay out of the drama. It affects her in other things. - So we decided this week that we are going home school with her for all of the above reasons. But I have concerns as well. I dont want her to do any type of program where she does not have regular access to teachers. My wife and I are just not going to be of much help....I am gone workign way too much and my wife barely finished high school herself. They have a program where they pick their work up from the continuation school and they have regular tutoring every day during certain hours.....we were thinking about going with that. I know that a lot of childhood performing prodigies did home school because they were on the road too much.....but eventually I do hope she goes back someday and pursues her education when she has money and time. I have conflicting emotions on all of this because I went to regular school myself and she is going to miss things that go on in regular school. Her friends all go to her church and so it isn't like she will be alienated but it still wont be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Info Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Have you considered private school? I was curious and noticed there were a few in and around Hemet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 just keep in mind the social aspect that you are not exposing her to anymore. I would recommend seeing a family counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, licensed/clinical social worker etc..... before deciding that route, perhaps she has something inside preventing her from succeeding in school. there is no 'home' working so she needs to deal with the distractions be they on her own or through the help of medication etc..... just my $.02...good luck...i have a child i have been struggling with his entire life and am exploring options to help him get through his education Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 (edited) My son will have gone through the public school system every year....and will be a senior next year. He pretty much had to in order to play on the school sports teams and have a chance at a scholarship to go to college. We are taking my daughter a different route....a couple of things: - My daughter has never been a great student...shoot she has never been an average student. Too many distractions with other kids.....too much drama....too much time in the counselor's office for this and for that. I didn't know until just yesterday but early in this school year (8th grade) her school counsilor RECOMMENDED home school to my wife but never bothered to tell me. - My daughter will not be going to college....not on a academic scholarship or a athletic scholarship....she is not inclined in either of those areas......what she does great is sing, perform, and promote her church....those are her passions and what she does well. - Things have taken off so well in this area that she is going to start getting really busy with those things. Music CD nearly finished and will be spending the summer traveling to various churches, promotions, and singing at several functions at the various indian reservations we have in our area and possibly as far as Amsterdam. "Little Spirit" as she has been named by the local tribes put in the work last summer promoting and now things are going to pick up. This will extend past summer and into what would be the next academic school year as a freshman. My brother has the connections to really make things take off for her beyond that. - Her uncle (manager, promoter, singing coach, practically 3rd parent is convinced that if she goes to regular academic school she is going to totally lose focus on the plan they have set forth and my wife and I are convinced based on the things went in school for her this year. She is just too much of a mother hen to her friends and cant stay out of the drama. It affects her in other things. - So we decided this week that we are going home school with her for all of the above reasons. But I have concerns as well. I dont want her to do any type of program where she does not have regular access to teachers. My wife and I are just not going to be of much help....I am gone workign way too much and my wife barely finished high school herself. They have a program where they pick their work up from the continuation school and they have regular tutoring every day during certain hours.....we were thinking about going with that. I know that a lot of childhood performing prodigies did home school because they were on the road too much.....but eventually I do hope she goes back someday and pursues her education when she has money and time. I have conflicting emotions on all of this because I went to regular school myself and she is going to miss things that go on in regular school. Her friends all go to her church and so it isn't like she will be alienated but it still wont be the same. The Berean stores have excellent home schooling kits. Call them. http://www.berean.com/books.asp?mymode=1&a...p;catname=Books But to home school, you or your wife must be home to give the instruction. I would not be concerned about your wife's education. She is an adult and mother of her child. But you simply cannot home school if you also want others to tutor...if you or wife won't be there instructing the child, it goes against the main idea. Home schooling is anything but convenient, and to do it properly, to teach your child well and effectively, a parent has to commit to the job, full-time. There is no other possibility. EDIT: after reading subsequent posts - seems that "shared" home schooling exists, and works. I apologize, John, for shooting off my mouth. Edited May 6, 2009 by stuckincincy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Send her to a convent until she's 40 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fewell733 Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 just keep in mind the social aspect that you are not exposing her to anymore. I would recommend seeing a family counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, licensed/clinical social worker etc..... before deciding that route, perhaps she has something inside preventing her from succeeding in school. there is no 'home' working so she needs to deal with the distractions be they on her own or through the help of medication etc..... just my $.02...good luck...i have a child i have been struggling with his entire life and am exploring options to help him get through his education I agree. I'm not a parent, but it seems to me that professional advice outside of a single public school counselor should be sought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 John: I work with a lady who is very experienced in home care. If you'd like me to see if she'd be willing to discuss it with you, send me a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 I know a lot of home schoolers and home school parents. I am usually against it due to the lack of "social education." But starting home-schooling in 8th grade (as opposed to much earlier) doesn't seem like it will cause those same lack of social skills problems. I would check out if there are home schooling associations in the area--i.e., might allow your daughter to be taught by other parents who are knowledgable in certain areas and give her an opportunity for more social interaction. Good points, and thank you for them. I added an edit to my previous post to John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 The Berean stores have excellent home schooling kits. Call them. http://www.berean.com/books.asp?mymode=1&a...p;catname=Books But to home school, you or your wife must be home to give the instruction. I would not be concerned about your wife's education. She is an adult and mother of her child. But you simply cannot home school if you also want others to tutor...if you or wife won't be there instructing the child, it goes against the main idea. Home schooling is anything but convenient, and to do it properly, to teach your child well and effectively, a parent has to commit to the job, full-time. There is no other possibility. EDIT: after reading subsequent posts - seems that "shared" home schooling exists, and works. I apologize, John, for shooting off my mouth. Its ok cinci....I am not offended.....kind of looking for different viewpoints at this point. Counciling has been going on all year in an attempt to figure out what the school disconnect is. It was actually councilors that recommended it. I actually share the same concerns that you pointed out. The last thing I want to have happen is my daughter come to me or my wife for help.....and we look at her and shrug our shoulders. The thing is....I am really starting to think that her time is school is flat out wasted....her grades are BAD and she seems to have some sort of problem with nearly every teacher she has but when when I take time to go and talk to the teachers they just love Ashlee....she is just a drifter......its funny because the few teachers that she has been able to do well in their classes actually allowed her to sit there with her ipod and headphones while doing her work......then no problems with distractions....grades picked up immediately....etc. But I understnd that to do that for one you have to do that for all so it just isnt possble in a overcrowded community school. I would be comfortable with a setting where she gets her homework but goes to one on one with teachers regularly which seems to be the case. It is also flexible that allows her to take care of HER business. There will be times when she will be on the road for weeks at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Send her to a convent until she's 40 And then there is that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Have you considered private school? I was curious and noticed there were a few in and around Hemet. We have considered it.....but.....financial situation isnt so hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fewell733 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 The thing is....I am really starting to think that her time is school is flat out wasted....her grades are BAD and she seems to have some sort of problem with nearly every teacher she has but when when I take time to go and talk to the teachers they just love Ashlee....she is just a drifter......its funny because the few teachers that she has been able to do well in their classes actually allowed her to sit there with her ipod and headphones while doing her work......then no problems with distractions....grades picked up immediately....etc. But I understnd that to do that for one you have to do that for all so it just isnt possble in a overcrowded community school. I'd just say to keep in mind that she's only in 8th grade. These kind of patterns don't necessarily hold true, especially in a period of so many changes for a child. If all it takes is an ipod to get her to focus in, that can be something that can be worked with. But I'm not a professional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasjute Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 - My daughter will not be going to college....not on a academic scholarship or a athletic scholarship....she is not inclined in either of those areas......what she does great is sing, perform, and promote her church....those are her passions and what she does well. John, What about exploring music study in college? If she is talented there is a good chance she can get a good talent-based music scholarship. Depending on the school her grades will still have to meet some minimum standards, but if the grades are good enough to just get accepted, then the scholarship $$$ most often goes to the kids with the musical talent irrespective of academic record. Just as with athletes, music schools want to attract the best singers to strengthen their programs. She's got at least 3 good years left to explore this option and think about some specialized training to help prepare her for a college audition, etc... If she's not inclined to get classical training (which is always helpful no matter what you sing) she might look into a school with a strong musical theater program. It could also help her pick up some important skills (maybe teaching or arts management, perhaps even some recording) that will help her survive financially and continue to pursue her dreams without abandoning music together, waiting tables, etc... I know it is a little off-topic from your original question, but I wouldn't give up on college just because she wants to do music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 John, What about exploring music study in college? If she is talented there is a good chance she can get a good talent-based music scholarship. Depending on the school her grades will still have to meet some minimum standards, but if the grades are good enough to just get accepted, then the scholarship $$$ most often goes to the kids with the musical talent irrespective of academic record. Just as with athletes, music schools want to attract the best singers to strengthen their programs. She's got at least 3 good years left to explore this option and think about some specialized training to help prepare her for a college audition, etc... If she's not inclined to get classical training (which is always helpful no matter what you sing) she might look into a school with a strong musical theater program. It could also help her pick up some important skills (maybe teaching or arts management, perhaps even some recording) that will help her survive financially and continue to pursue her dreams without abandoning music together, waiting tables, etc... I know it is a little off-topic from your original question, but I wouldn't give up on college just because she wants to do music. I think this def might be a option in the future. I am actually hoping that being away from school for a while will make her realize what she is missing....and reaquire her interest in it later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I'd just say to keep in mind that she's only in 8th grade. These kind of patterns don't necessarily hold true, especially in a period of so many changes for a child. If all it takes is an ipod to get her to focus in, that can be something that can be worked with. But I'm not a professional. John, What about exploring music study in college? If she is talented there is a good chance she can get a good talent-based music scholarship. Depending on the school her grades will still have to meet some minimum standards, but if the grades are good enough to just get accepted, then the scholarship $$$ most often goes to the kids with the musical talent irrespective of academic record. Just as with athletes, music schools want to attract the best singers to strengthen their programs. She's got at least 3 good years left to explore this option and think about some specialized training to help prepare her for a college audition, etc... If she's not inclined to get classical training (which is always helpful no matter what you sing) she might look into a school with a strong musical theater program. It could also help her pick up some important skills (maybe teaching or arts management, perhaps even some recording) that will help her survive financially and continue to pursue her dreams without abandoning music together, waiting tables, etc... I know it is a little off-topic from your original question, but I wouldn't give up on college just because she wants to do music. im on track with both of these posts. school/college/life doesnt have to revolve around math and science and history. i wouldnt limit her potential based on her behavior through middle school. this is probably the craziest time in her life, in all aspects. not sure if i would set her future path based on how she is behaving at this age. from what youve described, ive known LOTS of more "troubled" girls at that age who went on to level out. just my two cents. and i grew up with parents who were head of Special Ed. departments and I went to school for teaching. good luck. and i sincerely mean that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 One of my sisters did home schooling when she was in high school. From what I remember they do have people available to help if she has questions. For the social part they do have field trips and other outings with other home schooled kids. I can't remember the name of the school she used but I can find out if you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In space no one can hear Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 John: Have you considered asking the school district to do some Psycho/Educational Assessment testing? When the psychological and educational testing are included in an overall assessment of a person it is called a psycho/educational assessment. Psycho/educational assessments help document the information processing dysfunctions or strengths of the students being tested . The info would be helpful to the school she is enrolled in and would also help anyone working with her in a home school situation. You might have to press for this, as so many districts try to limit spending money. I don't like the school just suggesting home schooling. I would want to hear from them how they WILL provide the best environment possible to ensure her success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Where will she go for the Home coming dance? Do you help her with homework now? If you dont what makes you think you can home school her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Fischer Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Not to set off a firestorm, but have you tested her for ADD? I'm not one to hand out drugs to every kid who doesn't perform well but we resisted with our intelligent and unfocused second daughter in 6th grade and the results are pretty remarkable. She was a C and C+ student before and A-student now. Same kid, same personality, same kind of craziness but she now focuses in class and on her work. It certainly doesn't work for every kid but I'm glad we tried that before putting her in a very expensive private school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordio Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I know a few of my friends do it. Personally, I do not agree with it John. Part of going to school is your grades & learning how to study etc.. but just as important imo is developing the social skills. Kids for the most part want to be around other kids. Especially at that age, they dont want to be around their parents for social activities. Some of my fondest memories are of me hanging out with my friends at school. I would think twice about this. I never got really good grades in school but I somehow got into Syracuse, graduated from there in 4 & 1/2 years & then went on to get my masters at canisius. In my 6 + years of college I had 3 or 4 A's in that time. Everything else was mostly B's & a few C's. I plugged thru it. It was a grind but you do what you have to do. To say that your daughter is not going to college when she is only in 8th grade, I think your being pretty shortsighted & maybe not giving your daughter enough credit. Couple times I wanted to drop out of college & my dad & mom were always there for me telling me to stick with it, & they know I could do it. What kind of message are you going to be sending to your daughter if you tell her that we are taking you away from your friends, home schooling you, because we do not think you are a good enough student? What if the music thing does not work out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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