Long Island Phil Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Hair Grease: $9.00 Klecko Jersey: $125.00 87 Buick Skylark: $975.00 Makin out with a wicked hot jersey broad with 3 foot hair and a half pound of cheap perfume after watching pennington go 19/21 for 62 yards........PRICELESS 856845[/snapback] YEEEEHAAAAH!!! GOD DAMN ! Im pissed. I paid $1250 for that Skylark. I didnt know I could get on in Buff for $975. Say what you will about that NJ hottie but she is VERY ummmmmm talented ! Hmmmm 19/21 for 62 yards ? Maybe JP can teach him how to run into the ref and fumble ARGHHHHH ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Cmon Guff, give the other guys some tips here........ 856837[/snapback] Ok folks here are the tips Phil wants me to pass along: 1. Dairy Barn is a store that sells hangover helper called "Chocolate Milk" guaranteed to quell any hangover. 2. Long Island is shaped like a fish, therefore when referring to your location, be specific about where on the fish you are. 3. Two counties in Long Island, Nassau and Suffolk, Suffolk is larger and farthest east. Home to inbreds and backwoods types, if Phil falls into this category, he is dating his sister or aunt. If he is from Nassau county he trolls Hempstead turnpike on Friday nights in a nitro charged rice burner Honda Accord or crap like that, waiting for the "G" club to open so he can score some south shore punani with the rock hard hair and spiked heels. 4. When Phil grew up (well, when he finally grows up) he hopes to buy a home somewhere south of Sunrise if he is near the south shore, if he is a north shore guy, he is shooting for Huntington, but can't afford it, so he goes for Huntington Station and tries to convince everyone that its gonna change. 5. Phil and co. will have you believe that they are die hard Pennington fans, yet in the most recent draft they were screaming for a new QB to be picked, hell they have been screaming for a new QB for the last 2 drafts. 6. There are several parkways used to get around Long Island, they either go East/West or North/South, this makes it easy for people like Phil to get around. 7. The highlight for a Long Island boy like Phil is when he gets to go to Robert Moses State Park and go to the nudie beach, it gives him hours of happy thoughts when he is alone in Mom and Dad's basement apartment. 8. Late night fare for Long Island Jet fans: Age 15-25> White Castle burgers (rotten, foul, gray meat/flesh cooked in onions and steamed to a gelatenous mess). If he is older, and able to handle a fork, he will go to a 24 hour diner, order a double cheeseburger platter and then vomit in the parking lot. 9. Waits patiently each year to add to his valuable Hess truck collection which he guards with his life, banking on sending his loin drippings through Nassau Community College with the windfall that this fine collection will surely bring someday in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roy875 Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 washed up Willis is when his "U" teamate Vilma puts some hurt on him. He may just ruin his knee.......again. I wish willis could play against your pathetic D every week. You haven't come close to stopping him yet. Losman is much better now than he was last game. You'll see unless you get Jesey girls hairspray in your eyes Even Parrish could whup Jerricho "herpified" Crotchery Pennigton will be lucky to walk away from this game after the "white snow bank" of Schobel, kelsay, Denney, Anderson and williams cashes in on him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nhbillsfan Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Guffalo, you are a true poet. "good for you and God bless" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Island Phil Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Ok folks here are the tips Phil wants me to pass along: 1. Dairy Barn is a store that sells hangover helper called "Chocolate Milk" guaranteed to quell any hangover. 2. Long Island is shaped like a fish, therefore when referring to your location, be specific about where on the fish you are. 3. Two counties in Long Island, Nassau and Suffolk, Suffolk is larger and farthest east. Home to inbreds and backwoods types, if Phil falls into this category, he is dating his sister or aunt. If he is from Nassau county he trolls Hempstead turnpike on Friday nights in a nitro charged rice burner Honda Accord or crap like that, waiting for the "G" club to open so he can score some south shore punani with the rock hard hair and spiked heels. 4. When Phil grew up (well, when he finally grows up) he hopes to buy a home somewhere south of Sunrise if he is near the south shore, if he is a north shore guy, he is shooting for Huntington, but can't afford it, so he goes for Huntington Station and tries to convince everyone that its gonna change. 5. Phil and co. will have you believe that they are die hard Pennington fans, yet in the most recent draft they were screaming for a new QB to be picked, hell they have been screaming for a new QB for the last 2 drafts. 6. There are several parkways used to get around Long Island, they either go East/West or North/South, this makes it easy for people like Phil to get around. 7. The highlight for a Long Island boy like Phil is when he gets to go to Robert Moses State Park and go to the nudie beach, it gives him hours of happy thoughts when he is alone in Mom and Dad's basement apartment. 8. Late night fare for Long Island Jet fans: Age 15-25> White Castle burgers (rotten, foul, gray meat/flesh cooked in onions and steamed to a gelatenous mess). If he is older, and able to handle a fork, he will go to a 24 hour diner, order a double cheeseburger platter and then vomit in the parking lot. 9. Waits patiently each year to add to his valuable Hess truck collection which he guards with his life, banking on sending his loin drippings through Nassau Community College with the windfall that this fine collection will surely bring someday in the future. 856909[/snapback] GUFF GUFF GUFF ! Why such self hate from a L.I. guy such as yourself?! Did the Jets moving to NJ psychologically scar you so deeply that you had to become a Buffalo Jills fan GEE you could have made a better choice than that. Pick the Raiders or some other team at least with some history of a Superbowl win instead of the record for most losses. By the way, there are 4 counties on L.I. not 2 as you state above. Wow, how about that! 4, yes 4 oh my ! Losman..............pulls the ball down and runs right .....he he he collides with the umpire and...........FUMBLES.....ARGHHHHHHHH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartshan-83 Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 I think this guy is pretty funny actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 By the way, there are 4 counties on L.I. not 2 as you state above. Wow, how about that! 4, yes 4 oh my ! 856990[/snapback] I'm not talking NYC proper, why waste time with queens and kings counties. Not worth the trouble, most of those guys are Giants fans and stopped dating thier kinfolk after they gave up breastfeeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don_of_manhattan Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Good post Guffalo. Gotta admit thats some pretty funny stuff! At least one person on this site gets it. Dont be bashful, tell the truth,did you major in creative writing during your 7 years at Buffalo Community College? By the way you can say whatever you like about me EXCEPT calling me a Giants fan Cmon Guff, give the other guys some tips here........ 856837[/snapback] remember, the State's flagship university is in Buffalo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 it's called trash talking...thats what opposing fans do during game week...thicken up the dermal layers folks...jeez...he even invites us for some good old fashioned trash...lighten up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Losman..............pulls the ball down and runs right .....he he he collides with the umpire and...........FUMBLES.....ARGHHHHHHHH 856990[/snapback] Here's a little trip down memory lane for you. What's that sound? Is it...is it...the worst NJ Jets defeat in over 20 years! Wait! Wait! There's MORE??? Nice catch, Chris Baker! Oh, wait, no it wasn't. A loss to Cleveland, of all teams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Island Phil Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 it's called trash talking...thats what opposing fans do during game week...thicken up the dermal layers folks...jeez...he even invites us for some good old fashioned trash...lighten up! 857082[/snapback] YAY for POOJER ! He gets It! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Ok folks here are the tips Phil wants me to pass along: 8. Late night fare for Long Island Jet fans: Age 15-25> White Castle burgers (rotten, foul, gray meat/flesh cooked in onions and steamed to a gelatenous mess). If he is older, and able to handle a fork, he will go to a 24 hour diner, order a double cheeseburger platter and then vomit in the parking lot. 856909[/snapback] Very nice Guff. However, please leave the magic that is White Castle out of the Long Island bashing. It may not be much for dinner time, but at 3am there is nothing better. Every time I've been in White Castle I've seen something hilarious happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Through the magic of the internet, I've been able to find a new Jet's Message Board where they post photos of themselves dressed up before going to the game. You NJ dudes are just stylin'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Island Phil Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Through the magic of the internet, I've been able to find a new Jet's Message Board where they post photos of themselves dressed up before going to the game. You NJ dudes are just stylin'... 857124[/snapback] 41-0 ooooh yeah big time ouch ! Chris Baker? wow was he robbed........ Heh heh heh, checked that link for your fancy lookin jerzy boy friends. I can see you have NO shortage of places to stay when you come down for the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Through the magic of the internet, I've been able to find a new Jet's Message Board where they post photos of themselves dressed up before going to the game. You NJ dudes are just stylin'... 857124[/snapback] That schit is never NOT hilarious. How could those clowns be serious? "Hey guys, I was thinking about not spiking up my hair. I dunno, I just want to try something else." Commence ass kicking and expulsion from the group. "And we're keeping the pink button down shirt we gave you at your initiation!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnychemo Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 You may laugh if you wish, but we have the best record of any NY football team right now. 856656[/snapback] Hey Phil- crack a book sometime. Only 1 NFL team plays in NY. I will grant you, however, that the Jets have the best record of any NJ football team right now however! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SACTOBILLSFAN Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 HAHAHA Willis sucks against everyone else but he always runs over the New Jersey Jets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubes Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 8. Late night fare for Long Island Jet fans: Age 15-25> White Castle burgers (rotten, foul, gray meat/flesh cooked in onions and steamed to a gelatenous mess). If he is older, and able to handle a fork, he will go to a 24 hour diner, order a double cheeseburger platter and then vomit in the parking lot. 856909[/snapback] Now that is just freaking hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 Very nice Guff. However, please leave the magic that is White Castle out of the Long Island bashing. It may not be much for dinner time, but at 3am there is nothing better. Every time I've been in White Castle I've seen something hilarious happen. 857114[/snapback] Agreed, however, at 11 AM the sunbstance that splats from the body retains the same odor and consistancy as the previous nights ill timed stop at the Castle of Phil's Phoolish Phriends. Funny how most kids around here get sent to Albany, Buffalo and all the upstate areas for education. When they are there, the parents rest assured that the kid is safe and secure. Yet the locals love to trash upstate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Island Phil Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Agreed, however, at 11 AM the sunbstance that splats from the body retains the same odor and consistancy as the previous nights ill timed stop at the Castle of Phil's Phoolish Phriends. Funny how most kids around here get sent to Albany, Buffalo and all the upstate areas for education. When they are there, the parents rest assured that the kid is safe and secure. Yet the locals love to trash upstate. 857195[/snapback] GEEEZ I expected better smack than this........ Toilet humor? Come on....... BOY I LOVE LOSING SUPERBOWLS PS, Guff you can keep Albany and Buffalo Universities. I'll stick with NYU or Columbia or Princeton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts