Nick in RaChaCha Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Sorry to hear this... Prayers on the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 He was depressed all his life and finally ended it himself. I'm so sad, he was a great person and was always there for me...always had good things to say and always had good advice whenever I was in need of some, now he's gone forever. I'm all tore up...please say a prayer for my friend Walt....RIP. I'll miss him greatly. 684028[/snapback] Sorry to hear this. This happened to me a long way back. A very good friend came to my house, had a few drinks and played some guitar with me, then went home and killed himself. It took me a long time to realize it was NOT my fault that I did not see this coming. I was between sorrow for him and anger that he left this for his few friends to deal with. Since then I have forgiven both of us. I forgave him for the pain he cause me, and I forgave myself for not being able to recognize or stop what was going to happen. Sometimes sh-- just happens. Look at the good he did for you, and be that way to others who need help. Life teaches hard lessons. After his funueral all his old buds got together and tied one on in his "honor". It was a lot like The Big Chill. We comforted each other and remembered the good times. He is not in pain now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill from NYC Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 He was depressed all his life and finally ended it himself. I'm so sad, he was a great person and was always there for me...always had good things to say and always had good advice whenever I was in need of some, now he's gone forever. I'm all tore up...please say a prayer for my friend Walt....RIP. I'll miss him greatly. 684028[/snapback] I am SO sorry. The best thing you can do at this time imo is to keep an eye on yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and don't set time tables. May God rest his soul and bless you and your family in this time of crisis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Like A Mofo Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 He was depressed all his life and finally ended it himself. I'm so sad, he was a great person and was always there for me...always had good things to say and always had good advice whenever I was in need of some, now he's gone forever. I'm all tore up...please say a prayer for my friend Walt....RIP. I'll miss him greatly. 684028[/snapback] I had an uncle who I was very close to and always told me something: He never liked wakes or funerals because he said "I never want my latest thoughts about someone who I cared for be about the funeral or the wake, always emphasize the good times you have shared with someone and cherish the special memories" Take time to grieve, it is ok to do that. Very sorry to hear about your loss and I will keep you, your friends, and your friend's family in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helmet_hair Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I know how you feel. My best friend committed suicide almost 10 years ago, July 26th 1996. We were friend since the 3rd grade and were as close as brothers. We grew up together sharing our life’s experiences good and bad from childhood to the teenage years and from adulthood to marriage. I’ll never forget that day when I found out he hung himself in his bathroom. I was confused and in a cloud for months and my thoughts went to a very dark place. I often think about Randy now and choose to think only of the funny, happy, silly times we shared growing up. It is true what they say, they live on in our memories and you can visit them any time you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheRocks Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Not trying to be "preachy", but may I suggest: Phillippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. I am sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I am so sorry for your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 He was depressed all his life and finally ended it himself. I'm so sad, he was a great person and was always there for me...always had good things to say and always had good advice whenever I was in need of some, now he's gone forever. I'm all tore up...please say a prayer for my friend Walt....RIP. I'll miss him greatly. 684028[/snapback] Give yourself permission to feel whatever the hell you feel. It might be sadness, anger, guilt, or even a certain amount of relief. Suicides produce complex feelings. Don't judge yourself for whatever you feel. Oh, and scotch works for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackur Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 well whenever I'm sad or depressed - I use my artistic abilities to let me let loose my pain it soothes my sole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Sorry for your loss. James here has some very good advice. Writing and delivering the eulogy for my Dad last month went a long way towards understanding my feelings and realizing how much he meant to me and to others. Write. Eulogy form (even if you're not delivering it), a list of the things you remember, things you did, a letter to him.... It's rare that I tangle with a blank page with a pen as my only weapon and walk away not knowing more about what I really think/feel about something, someone, or some decision I make. 684091[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 well whenever I'm sad or depressed - I use my artistic abilities to let me let loose my pain it soothes my sole 684311[/snapback] And keeping your fish happy is just an added benefit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Wheels Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I'll say a prayer for you cantankerous and your friend's family. Suicide is devastating for those left behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30dive Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 A prayer and a good thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ans4e64 Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I guess a good way to look at it is that if he had a bad life, he can at least have some pleasure now. He is in a better place where he wont feel the pain that he felt here. Also the point a poster brought about writing helped me so much when I lost my friend. I sat down and wrote 3 pages one night to his family, telling them about the first time I met him and what he meant to my life. I never ended up giving them the letter but I guess that wasnt the point, it put things into perspective for me and made me feel a lot better. At random times for about a year I would just burst out crying, i think thats normal but at the time it obviously didnt feel to good. I guess what im saying is that you arent going to find anything to take complete stress off your mind, just little things you can do, it will hurt for a while and that is normal. Its been about 2 years now for me and i can honestly say i feel at ease with the situation, i can talk about it and think clearly. Good luck man and although you dont feel like it, try to get out and do something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Wow, you have my sympathy. I agree with most of the advice: drink (of course i agree with that) with friends and tell stories and commiserate, write a eulogy, cry if you need to, spend time with a loved one, masterbate...whatever it takes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cantankerous Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 Thank you all SO much for the kind words and advice. I never thought he would do something like this. I hadn't cried for what seems like years til yesterday when I found out. His mom called me and broke the news, and I just lost it. He was truly a great person. I will follow much of the advice given in all of your replies. He didn't believe in God, but I think he's in heaven with him anyway...I just don't believe good people go the other way, so when I drove to work this morning and saw the sky was a beautiful orange/pink and glowing so bright...I thought "I know you're up there Walt...in paradise finally....finally pain free and now you can finally rest." THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, you've all helped alot. I'd consider all of you my friends as well for this...you are good people. God Bless you all. - Landon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 Wow, sorry to hear about your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYGPopgun10 Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 Man, that sucks. I think you should honor your friend by remembering what they were about. Cherish all the good times you shared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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