Snotty Kids in Restuarants

[ExiledInIllinois]

Worked with my generation.

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Did it?

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

And there'd be the key.

If we go to a nice place my children are like a freakin' Rockwell sketch with little if any co-ercion from me.

But if we go somewhere casual, all bets are off. They don't whine or complain or leave the table, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be some ogre that doesn't let them have a good time. Hell I'm the one who taught them how to shoot the covers off the straws and make bubbles in their drinks and fling paper pucks with the butter knives. Aside from a fair bit of giggling, they don't bother anybody else in the place. And if the laughter of children bothers you, you can keep your dour ass at home and enjoy your perfectly prepared gourmet meal in the silence you deserve. 

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Exactly!!! Ding!

[Bill from NYC]

And there'd be the key.

If we go to a nice place my children are like a freakin' Rockwell sketch with little if any co-ercion from me.

But if we go somewhere casual, all bets are off. They don't whine or complain or leave the table, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be some ogre that doesn't let them have a good time. Hell I'm the one who taught them how to shoot the covers off the straws and make bubbles in their drinks and fling paper pucks with the butter knives. Aside from a fair bit of giggling, they don't bother anybody else in the place. And if the laughter of children bothers you, you can keep your dour ass at home and enjoy your perfectly prepared gourmet meal in the silence you deserve. 

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Amen. The tolerance level in this country is both saddening and sickening.

Children represent life. Should they also have to shut up on the beach? Remember, laughter and sand castles might interfere with the quiet meditation of some yuppie!

My wife managed a fancy restaurant. People used to complain to her that children at the next table were "looking at them." I am not making this up.

What happened in America that made us into a nation of intolerant, tight assed bores?

[Alaska Darin]

I don't think anyone is referring to laughter and sandcastles - I know I'm not. I'm referring to the lack of manners, screaming, and temper tantrums, which seem to be a regular part of going out in public nowadays. The most incredulous part to me is that parents have the ability to press on with whatever they're doing while this stuff is going on.

 

I watched a nearly teen girl literally scream at the top of her lungs for over 10 minutes when I was at Penny's last weekend. I thought she was about 5 years old when I heard her (she was around a corner). Imagine my surprise.

[ExiledInIllinois]

I don't think anyone is referring to laughter and sandcastles - I know I'm not.  I'm referring to the lack of manners, screaming, and temper tantrums, which seem to be a regular part of going out in public nowadays.  The most incredulous part to me is that parents have the ability to press on with whatever they're doing while this stuff is going on.

 

I watched a nearly teen girl literally scream at the top of her lungs for over 10 minutes when I was at Penny's last weekend.  I thought she was about 5 years old when I heard her (she was around a corner).  Imagine my surprise.

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You are also right Darin.

 

A lot of times I find myself in a trap. You don't want your kids to be a burden on other people, yet you don't want to temper good fun when they are not bothering anybody. Some people get bothered by the littlest things. What people tolerate really covers a broad spectrum.

 

It is easy in cases like you pointed out. It is harder in regards to other situations and the moods people are in?

[IowaBill]

I'm not so sure that's the case.  To be honest I think most see it the way you do but aren't willing to put forth the effort it takes to be a good parent.  They're more concerned with being their child's friend.

 

How many times a year did your parents take you out for fast food?

 

How often did you drink pop (soda)?

 

How about preprepared meals?

 

Parenting.  It's about time.

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Amen. Well stated.

[plenzmd1]

I'm not so sure that's the case.  To be honest I think most see it the way you do but aren't willing to put forth the effort it takes to be a good parent.  They're more concerned with being their child's friend.

 

How many times a year did your parents take you out for fast food?

 

How often did you drink pop (soda)?

 

How about preprepared meals?

 

Parenting.  It's about time.

523039[/snapback]

 

What does any of this have to do with being a good parent? We eat preprepared meals , so what? Somehow I should eat mine or my wifes bad cooking and that will makei us better parents. Spose all the sugared up kool aid was better for you? Having said that, my kids do not get soda except for certain occasions

 

 

Should I also make them watch a B&W TV with three channels. Got news for you, your parents had the same debate this board is having.

 

Amazing to me how many friggen parents of the year we have here. This is like the discussion of bad drivers, everybody bitches about them, but nobody claims to be one.

[rockpile]

My father never had to raise a hand.  Seriously, he had to yell a few times, but most of the time a stern glare would straighten me out.  I'll have to ask him how he perfected that.

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Really. That look said "or else"!

 

I raised 4 kids and never beat one. I did have to give a light swat on the ass at times to get their attention though.

 

This says it all:

 

"It's not about the kids, it's about the parents who are with them."

[IndyMark]

I don't think anyone is referring to laughter and sandcastles - I know I'm not.  I'm referring to the lack of manners, screaming, and temper tantrums, which seem to be a regular part of going out in public nowadays.  The most incredulous part to me is that parents have the ability to press on with whatever they're doing while this stuff is going on.

 

I watched a nearly teen girl literally scream at the top of her lungs for over 10 minutes when I was at Penny's last weekend.  I thought she was about 5 years old when I heard her (she was around a corner).  Imagine my surprise.

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This is not as "black and white" as one would think. Intuitively, if your child screams you feel like you should immediately "get in their face" and stop it. But then that reinforces that they should do that to get your attention. Ignoring it in a public place like a mall is really no big deal. If it bothers you move or ingore it.

 

Sure a fine dining restaurant is slightly different but a store? No way. Deal with it.

 

That said as a parent you should walk up to your child (who is screaming) and calmly say "once you talk to me like I am talking to you I will listent" OR " you have five seconds to stop or we are leaving right now".

 

Both are great parenting choices. Yelling back, spanking or freaking out in embarrassment are NOT good parenting choices.

[rockpile]

"...you have five seconds to stop or we are leaving right now".

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How many times have you seen parents get to "three" and stop?

 

Too many parents are invertebrates.

[stuckincincy]

This is not as "black and white" as one would think.  Intuitively, if your child screams you feel like you should immediately "get in their face" and stop it.  But then that reinforces that they should do that to get your attention.  Ignoring it in a public place like a mall is really no big deal.  If it bothers you move or ingore it.

 

Sure a fine dining restaurant is slightly different but a store?  No way. Deal with it.

 

That said as a parent you should walk up to your child (who is screaming) and calmly say "once you talk to me like I am talking to you I will listent"  OR " you have five seconds to stop or we are leaving right now".

 

Both are great parenting choices.  Yelling back, spanking or freaking out in embarrassment are NOT good parenting choices.

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You miss the point. It's not about you or your treatment of your kid - your responsibility....that's your problem.

 

It's about your unruly brat causing misery for others.

[LewPort71]

Generally my two daus were well behaved in a public setting....If they misbehaved at a restaurant, they got "the LOOK" and knew that trouble was brewing...

About the worse they ever did was a monster belch ( aided by Dr. Pepper ) that shook windows....

As a kid I misbehaved one time that I can remember...'cuz later that night I got a reminder about what proper restuarant behavior meant....

 

If the parents do not control the kids, I have no problem with the manager asking the family to leave...

[IndyMark]

You miss the point. It's not about you or your treatment of your kid - your responsibility....that's your problem.

 

It's about your unruly brat causing misery for others.

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No, I believe you are missing the point. But that is not shocking.

[IndyMark]

How many times have you seen parents get to "three" and stop? 

 

Too many parents are invertebrates.

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I stop at two or three ALL the time......because my children stop by then.

[Ghost of BiB]

Holy shiddt, this is a pathetic thread.

[Wacka]

What is pathetic is that most of us read that Dear Abby column that started this thread.

[Ghost of BiB]

Kids learn through example, and discipline.

 

Not feel good theories and book of the month club.

 

Anyone want to have kids? Raise them.

[Alaska Darin]

This is not as "black and white" as one would think.  Intuitively, if your child screams you feel like you should immediately "get in their face" and stop it.  But then that reinforces that they should do that to get your attention.  Ignoring it in a public place like a mall is really no big deal.  If it bothers you move or ingore it.

My child never screamed in public, nor would my response be anything audible to anyone else so I'm not sure why you responded to my particular post. Ignoring it in a public place is what reinforces that it's acceptable behavior.

[Alaska Darin]

What does any of this have to do with being a good parent? We eat preprepared meals , so what? Somehow I should eat mine or my wifes bad cooking and that will makei us better parents.

If you want to feed your kids poison, that's certainly your decision. Just don't be surprised when they have behavioral problems down the road.

 

Spose all the sugared up kool aid was better for you? Having said that, my kids do not get soda except for certain occasions  

I don't know. We didn't drink much koolaid. Mostly water or milk. There's a reason that type II diabetes is running rampant in our society and a large portion of our children are obese and unhealthy. I grew up in farm country and we had a large garden.

 

Should I also make them watch a B&W TV with three channels. Got news for you, your parents had the same debate this board is having.

If that's what you deem necessary. I doubt you know my parents but I can assure you that I watched far less television than the kids I was raised around and SIGNIFICANTLY less than the average kid does today. My parents gave us books to read and WE LIKED IT. I actually do it for pleasure today. Weird, huh?

 

Amazing to me how many friggen parents of the year we have here. This is like the discussion of bad drivers, everybody bitches about them, but nobody claims to be one.

I never claimed to be parent of the year (I'm sure my son would whole heartedly agree with that). Of course, he did graduate from high school in the top 10% of his class, has never been in any significant trouble, and is doing well working his way through his sophomore year of college while paying for his own apartment. I think my wife and I did pretty damn well and about the only real rule we had when he was growing up was no television in his room.

 

However, if he acted up in public...

[JoeF]

Simon hit it...for most families going out is having fun. Paper football, straw wrappers, peek a boo with the little ones are all part of that. Parents need to make smarter choices about where they go...

 

For example--I know that a Chop House or Morton's or other fine dining establishment is not the place for my three year old terror. It would not be good for him--he hasn't learned how to control his temper or manage his boundless energy yet and I don't want to have to constantly discipline him...(by the way--my girls actually did fine at fine dining establishments during their early years). I was the same way at his age...

 

My social commentary on this is a couple of things...

 

1) We didn't go out a lot when I was young--because we couldn't afford it....we didn't eat dinner together as often as I would like to think we did. My pop worked his ass off--to put food on the table and for our education...my mom worked to help.

2) Our values and our family life were a whole lot different..dad was in his mid teens to twenties during the depression--families still had generations living together--families struggled just to make ends meet--today we struggle to get the flat screen or the video ipod...are we less demanding of kids--maybe/maybe not--I know I am not--basic rules are treat others as you want to be treated and work hard at whatever you do. As I look back, our parents are the ones mostly who instilled the value of doing everything you can to provide a "better life" for your kids than you had--the "better life" part is a lot different today than it was 35 years ago...

 

As to this specific sign in the Chicago restaurant...more power to him..not much different than a sign that says no shirt, no shoes no service...he's not discriminating on the basis race, gender, color, creed, sexual orientation, baldness, etc...just on unattentive parents...