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Cheerleader Evaluations


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In light of the numerous gay threads in the air today, I felt it was only right to give the straight minority a voice here.

 

Well, we are rapidly approaching my favorite part of the home opener- when the Jills come trotting out for the first time and get a roaring ovation from the sellout crowd. Pom poms, kick lines, scandalous dancing, and cleavage- it's everything a football game should be and more.

However, looking at the rosters, I am a little nervous about our Jills. The Dolphins girls are always a favorite to win the division, and the Pats cheerleaders look to be bringing a solid squad to the table. Unfortunately the Jills could be looking at a third place finish in the AFC East. Thankfully, the Jets owner does not want such horrible distractions taking away from the product on the field, so by way of forfeit the Jills stay out of the basement.

(Please note some rosters/photos are the '04 squads. Somebody needs to find out where their training camp is and send reports from there!)

 

http://www.buffalobills.com/cheerleaders/roster.jsp

 

http://www.patriots.com/cheerleaders/index...=2005cheersquad

 

http://www.miamidolphins.com/cheerleaders/...d/2004squad.asp

 

 

I have also included as a reference point the Cowboys (who are considered the standard by many) and the Eagles (because I've seen a few of their girls in photos and they were slammin).

 

http://www.dallascowboys.com/cheerleaders/squad.cfm

 

http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/cheerlea.../cheerSquad.jsp

 

NOTE- The Eagles site earns props because there is a prompt that warns children that they are entering a site with age-appropriate content. Then the first page pops up with their lingerie calender.

 

So there you have it. No more thinking of that hot, sweaty, Brett Favre riding a tractor... :blink:

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Hear me out here. First thing I notice is I wish a few of the Jills would do something more interesting with their hair. It all starts with the hot haircut. The best looking ones have something shorter than shoulder-length going on. For me it accentuates the other assets. :blink::blink:

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If we can't have the hottest squad, maybe we could settle for having the most.

Increase the Jills to 120. If you can't have quality, go for quantity.

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Yes! Every section at the Ralph has its own cheerleader. Throw in some fatties for the End Zone Crew!!! :blink::blink:

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However, looking at the rosters, I am a little nervous about our Jills. 

I'm not interested in what the other teams' cheerbabes look like; I assume most other major cities are ahead of Buffalo on the plastic surgery curve.

 

There's been a few scary looking girls on the Jills in years past. A few. But last year's page you linked is the best looking squad I think I've ever seen for them. Any single one of those girls walks into your office, all work would immediately stop.

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I think the improvement in the Bills squad over the past few years has been phenominal.

 

Think about it - these women have to smile the entire game - win or lose - and deal with the weather, along with dancing around and trying to look enthused about being in the snow. Not only that, they have to deal with a bunch of drunk jerks screaming at them in the end zones, and still get paid squat for their efforts.

 

Not only that, but whoever coordinates the team must reap from a very small market: 1) Women who can dance, 2) Women who are willing to work for nothing, 3) Women who are good looking, and 4) Women who have cheerleading experience.

 

Whoever does this does a fine job.

 

I also think it's hilarious that a bunch of ugly guys with beer guts on TBD find it acceptable to critique women that they have no chance of dating, anyway. None.

 

But hey, that's what makes us shallow men, right? :lol:

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