RaoulDuke79 Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Did this turn into a fat joke thread. Perfect. My son is learning to use the toilet by himself. He's s just tall enough to get the equipment over the bowl so he can now pee on his own, but he still struggles pulling his underwear back up properly. So he calls me in the other day to help get him situated. As I'm kneeling pulling his underwear and shorts up he lets one rip. Thankfully I'm a little taller on my knees than he is standing, so it wasn't a direct face shot. Can you believe the audacity? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Popinski Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 11 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said: Did this turn into a fat joke thread. Perfect. My son is learning to use the toilet by himself. He's s just tall enough to get the equipment over the bowl so he can now pee on his own, but he still struggles pulling his underwear back up properly. So he calls me in the other day to help get him situated. As I'm kneeling pulling his underwear and shorts up he lets one rip. Thankfully I'm a little taller on my knees than he is standing, so it wasn't a direct face shot. Can you believe the audacity? Did he yell "keep the change" as he walked out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 17 hours ago, RaoulDuke79 said: When his wife yells a lot on a Thursday night about dumb stuff while he just wants to watch the Miami Hurricanes game and eat a few wings. I’ve told my wife several times that I won’t leave her for another woman. For peace and quiet maybe, but not for another woman. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Popinski Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 26 minutes ago, Gray Beard said: I’ve told my wife several times that I won’t leave her for another woman. For peace and quiet maybe, but not for another woman. They don't understand that line of thinking.....The last thing you want.....is another one lol. Especially a younger..dumber...more instagram-y version who subsists on likes and followers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlCowlingsTaxiService Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 18 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: The night before my wedding, my best man took me out for a few beers at the local bar just to get away from all the women who were at my apartment. It was supposed to just be a couple drinks and some pool. We ended up running into a couple of young (early 20’s and I was 30) teachers I worked with. They were twin sisters, and they were both very, very attractive. My friend and I started drinking with their crew, and we started doing celebratory shots as they knew I was getting married the next day. A couple hours later my friend and I were playing pool, and I saw one of the sisters approach us as the rest of her friends were on their way out the door. She came up to me and said “I’ve fantasized about *bleeping* you for 2 years. My sister and I want to give you a threesome tonight as your wedding gift. Offer expires after tonight.” She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and walked out. And she handed me a bar napkin with her phone number and address on it. My best man, bless his heart, could read what was going on and grabbed the napkin away from me as soon as she walked away. I don’t think I would have gone through with it anyway, but man I will admit that I was pretty freaking intrigued in the moment. I’ve have never felt the desire to stray from my wife, but I can see how people who are not in good relationships can easily cheat. The opportunities are always there. .... ad you've secretly regretted taking the moral high ground ever since On 9/27/2018 at 9:48 AM, Gordio said: How about fear, fear that my wife would catch me, divorce me, take my children from me & all my hard earn money that I have worked over 20 years for & I would end up living in the basement of my parents house. Yeah fear is the main reason I stay monogamous. just buy a house and give it away to the next woman you're serious about ... it's easier that way ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 On 9/27/2018 at 10:03 PM, Johnny Hammersticks said: The night before my wedding, my best man took me out for a few beers at the local bar just to get away from all the women who were at my apartment. It was supposed to just be a couple drinks and some pool. We ended up running into a couple of young (early 20’s and I was 30) teachers I worked with. They were twin sisters, and they were both very, very attractive. My friend and I started drinking with their crew, and we started doing celebratory shots as they knew I was getting married the next day. A couple hours later my friend and I were playing pool, and I saw one of the sisters approach us as the rest of her friends were on their way out the door. She came up to me and said “I’ve fantasized about *bleeping* you for 2 years. My sister and I want to give you a threesome tonight as your wedding gift. Offer expires after tonight.” She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and walked out. And she handed me a bar napkin with her phone number and address on it. My best man, bless his heart, could read what was going on and grabbed the napkin away from me as soon as she walked away. I don’t think I would have gone through with it anyway, but man I will admit that I was pretty freaking intrigued in the moment. I’ve have never felt the desire to stray from my wife, but I can see how people who are not in good relationships can easily cheat. The opportunities are always there. First, let me say I was riveted to every word of this story. Second, you are telling me that a pair of hot twin sisters wanted to do you in a threesome and your "friend" sort of talked you out of it?! Good God, that is the sort of serendipitous, perfect scenario I can only dream of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 11 hours ago, Fadingpain said: First, let me say I was riveted to every word of this story. Second, you are telling me that a pair of hot twin sisters wanted to do you in a threesome and your "friend" sort of talked you out of it?! Good God, that is the sort of serendipitous, perfect scenario I can only dream of. Yeah, it really wasn’t that difficult to walk away from that. I never really had a hard time getting laid in HS and college. Trying not to be boisterous, but I was a really good hockey and lacrosse player in HS and college. The girls just kind of came to me. It was too easy and I used to be a man-slut. Plus I was madly in love with my wife. The first woman to make me want to be in a serious committed relatonship. She still is a very beautiful woman, but she was an absolute smoke show when we first got together and got married (before we were both beat down by life and children...lol). I definitely married up in terms of physical attractiveness. She also is the complete package...smart, funny, likes to party and have fun. I just couldn’t risk losing her. 18 hours ago, AlCowlingsTaxiService said: .... ad you've secretly regretted taking the moral high ground ever since It’s funny. Years after we got married I finally got up the courage to tell my wife that story and she basically said the same thing to me ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 1 hour ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: Yeah, it really wasn’t that difficult to walk away from that. I never really had a hard time getting laid in HS and college. Trying not to be boisterous, but I was a really good hockey and lacrosse player in HS and college. The girls just kind of came to me. It was too easy and I used to be a man-slut. Plus I was madly in love with my wife. The first woman to make me want to be in a serious committed relatonship. She still is a very beautiful woman, but she was an absolute smoke show when we first got together and got married (before we were both beat down by life and children...lol). I definitely married up in terms of physical attractiveness. She also is the complete package...smart, funny, likes to party and have fun. I just couldn’t risk losing her. It’s funny. Years after we got married I finally got up the courage to tell my wife that story and she basically said the same thing to me ? The only compliment my wife ever gives me is that I married better than she did. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 21 hours ago, RaoulDuke79 said: Did this turn into a fat joke thread. Perfect. My son is learning to use the toilet by himself. He's s just tall enough to get the equipment over the bowl so he can now pee on his own, but he still struggles pulling his underwear back up properly. So he calls me in the other day to help get him situated. As I'm kneeling pulling his underwear and shorts up he lets one rip. Thankfully I'm a little taller on my knees than he is standing, so it wasn't a direct face shot. Can you believe the audacity? He's learning from the Best! Trust the process! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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