MILFHUNTER#518 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 15 minutes ago, joesixpack said: GOOD. I would put that attorney on retainer and have him/her craft up documents that will protect you first. Here's why I say that. If you're crippled financially by the alimony/support, you'll have a really hard time doing the things you'd love to with your kids otherwise. (Edit: and kids being kids, they'll want to do things with you that invariably cost money.) I'm not saying a guy shouldn't pay those kinds of things. But it should be equitable, and if you're not protected from future changes, it can become really inequitable really quick. ALWAYS have your own attorney. If she signed a retainer with that attorney, then the attorney has a fiduciary responsibility to her, not you. Therefore, that attorney is invariably NOT looking out for your best interests, only her's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Just now, MILFHUNTER#518 said: ALWAYS have your own attorney. If she signed a retainer with that attorney, then the attorney has a fiduciary responsibility to her, not you. Therefore, that attorney is invariably NOT looking out for your best interests, only her's. Exactly. And no offense to Fergy intended, you can NEVER trust an attorney that you haven't paid for the services of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 2 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: So my wife and I have officially filed for divorce. Just waiting for my lawyer and her lawyer to review the paper work to sign off. We're being very amicable towards each other. Nothing contested (so far) on our end. We still do get a long, we're in the process of selling our house and living in our existing house together for the next month or so. We're splitting everything 50/50 except 401K...she's not going to take any of mine. Instead of child support, I'll pay her health insurance since she can't be on mine now. I'm also giving her a good chunk of my savings. We're both being very good to each other right now. I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore but at the same time, it's still pretty hard because I've been with her for 6 years....and we have a 3 year old. We tried to explain to him last night what was happening and he wasn't getting it. We just said that we aren't going to live much longer in this house and we will now have two houses. He seemed excited. If anyone has been through this, any advice? What should I expect? I'm very sorry to hear this. I'm going through the same thing. I just sent you a PM. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 10 minutes ago, \GoBillsInDallas/ said: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/money/john-cleese-settles-divorce-wife-alyce-faye-eichelberger-19-7m-article-1.397336 "John is extremely cross about it and I don't blame him." He should only be cross with himself. It's like doing Your taxes and figuring out which deduction to take: Itemize or Standard, then picking the one which hurts him more. Why not stay together? Unless She divorced Him for some sort of transgression? He's already on His Third. But it did last long, since 1992. Look inward people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanbillsfan2206 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Congratulations man. I can tell you that dating in your 30s is getting a little rough, but whores are everywhere 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Just now, Seanbillsfan2206 said: Congratulations Was that really necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 Just now, Seanbillsfan2206 said: Congratulations man. I can tell you that dating in your 30s is getting a little rough, but whores are everywhere I don't want another relationship for a very long time. I just need another divorced mom who doesn't want that either and we can give each other what we need and that's it. 11 minutes ago, MILFHUNTER#518 said: What state do you live in bud? Georgia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MILFHUNTER#518 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 hour ago, joesixpack said: Good luck. I'll echo the sentiments above. Get a lawyer that will make sure she feels the pain instead of you, lest you end up like me...!@#$ed by the courts. And trust me, unless you have a savage for a lawyer, you WILL get !@#$ed by the courts. 150% TRUE, especially if you live in NYS. The family courts are completely stacked by man hating bulldog lesbians democrats who will give everything to your wife no matter what, even if she is a crack wh0re who sees johns in front of your children. Support is what it is generally nowadays, but your assets (pension, 401k, etc) can definitely be negotiated.. Now that I am years removed from my divorce, I am super glad I gave up on the leave it to beaver nice guy routine early and lawyered up. And I am GRATEFUL to our Heavenly Father I put in the time in the trenches for my custody arrangement. I have my daughter more than 50% of the time, and there is no price you can put on the relationship you have with your kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 7 minutes ago, MILFHUNTER#518 said: ALWAYS have your own attorney. If she signed a retainer with that attorney, then the attorney has a fiduciary responsibility to her, not you. Therefore, that attorney is invariably NOT looking out for your best interests, only her's. Her Attorney told me that. Even though we've agreed to many of the terms, I am your wife's attorney and represent her. She told me it would be best for me to get my own Attorney to work through the agreement together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Yeah, don't jump back into the dating scene too quickly....learn to live alone and focus on you and your kid. Once you are happy and able to be on your own, then you can try and start to ruin someone else's life :-) 1 minute ago, Royale with Cheese said: I don't want another relationship for a very long time. I just need another divorced mom who doesn't want that either and we can give each other what we need and that's it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Royale with Cheese said: Her Attorney told me that. Even though we've agreed to many of the terms, I am your wife's attorney and represent her. She told me it would be best for me to get my own Attorney to work through the agreement together. Good. But I wouldn't just accept what the other attorney wrote up. I'd have your attorney write something favorable to you, and then let them hash out the ugly details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Royale with Cheese said: So my wife and I have officially filed for divorce. Just waiting for my lawyer and her lawyer to review the paper work to sign off. We're being very amicable towards each other. Nothing contested (so far) on our end. We still do get a long, we're in the process of selling our house and living in our existing house together for the next month or so. We're splitting everything 50/50 except 401K...she's not going to take any of mine. Instead of child support, I'll pay her health insurance since she can't be on mine now. I'm also giving her a good chunk of my savings. We're both being very good to each other right now. I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore but at the same time, it's still pretty hard because I've been with her for 6 years....and we have a 3 year old. We tried to explain to him last night what was happening and he wasn't getting it. We just said that we aren't going to live much longer in this house and we will now have two houses. He seemed excited. If anyone has been through this, any advice? What should I expect? Sorry to hear that. I haven't but a number of my friends have and I used to be good buds with a 'family practice lawyer' so I heard those stories. If you both can make a pact with the ex and pinky-swear to put the kid first, and if you get mad at each other "take 10" and ask "what's best for the kid?" it should be OK. The friends where both parents did that, or after an unsettled time came to do that, it worked out fine for the kids. It'll have its ups and downs, especially when new romances come along. A bunch of my friends recommend a book called "When Dinosaurs Divorce". Check it out. Maybe there's something better now. The trickiest part will be stuff like schools (if one of you wants to move), holidays, and extracurriculars. Stuff happens, like you work out a reasonable custody schedule, then the kid turns out to be uber-talented at math competitions or music or wants to play competitive soccer or be competitive at short-track bike racing which is one parent's thing and not the others. One of our neighbors is going through that now - the dad has gotten the kids into short track BIG TIME and they're good at it. The mom wants the kids to succeed at something they clearly love, but she feels like she's not getting her propers now. She gets half a Sunday at best on her weekends because every weekend is a competition and all of one day at the competition, and half of another is spent driving back from it, and short track racing/driving there and back is just NOT how she wants to spend her free time, let alone in company with her ex since she doesn't have the skill set to maintain and set up their bikes so it's not like she can go while he stays home. My $0.02 is to try to see that kind of thing coming (it really isn't hard if you're able to put yourself in the other parent's shoes) and try to find a professional mediator both sides get along with and have a relationship built by working out something small, BEFORE something big gets to the point where one or the other parent feels shortchanged and has a world-class Mad on - because it's hard to build trust that a mediator is really fair to both parties when one party comes in feeling aggrieved. Ask her lawyer and yours for some recommendations - most lawyers who do family practice have seen it all and if you get a couple of the same names from both sides, those are probably worth a phone call. Good mediators cost, but WAY less than lawyers and going back to court. This is from a seat on the sidelines, so take it from what it's worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MILFHUNTER#518 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said: I don't want another relationship for a very long time. I just need another divorced mom who doesn't want that either and we can give each other what we need and that's it. Georgia Good, at least you are not in NYS, see my above post. Get an attorney OF YOUR OWN to review all docs, and make sure you max out your time with your child. This helps with EVERYTHING if she gets pissed at you down the road. The judge will look at you in a whole different light if you have your kids every week (preferably 50% if you can swing it) as opposed to one weekend a month. You will pay less, i guarantee it!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
US Egg Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Divorced twice and my parents did so when I was in my teens in the early '70's. Amicable-shamicable. Get a divorce lawyer ASAP ! Not a do it all type. You need someone to look out for you. You can't go this alone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 minute ago, MILFHUNTER#518 said: Good, at least you are not in NYS, see my above post. Get an attorney OF YOUR OWN to review all docs, and make sure you max out your time with your child. This helps with EVERYTHING if she gets pissed at you down the road. The judge will look at you in a whole different light if you have your kids every week (preferably 50% if you can swing it) as opposed to one weekend a month. You will pay less, i guarantee it!? We've already agreed to a 50/50 split with the child. That was on the forms to fill out for her Attorney to process. I just got off the phone with a paralegal because the Attorney was out in court. I'm going to meet with him either late today or tomorrow. He's going to review the documents and makes sure I'm protected. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 minute ago, MILFHUNTER#518 said: Good, at least you are not in NYS, see my above post. Get an attorney OF YOUR OWN to review all docs, and make sure you max out your time with your child. This helps with EVERYTHING if she gets pissed at you down the road. The judge will look at you in a whole different light if you have your kids every week (preferably 50% if you can swing it) as opposed to one weekend a month. You will pay less, i guarantee it!? In my experience you seeing the kid is irrelevant. They charge you what they charge you. And it's VERY easy for the custodial parent to !@#$ with the non-custodial parent, especially when the non-custodial parent is broke from mandatory payments and can't afford a lawyer's fees. Better to have it ironclad up front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Royale with Cheese said: This is what I'm afraid of. It's amicable now. She's the only one who has the Attorney now. We've both agreed to all the conditions and now I'm going to get an Attorney to review everything to make sure I'm protected. You have GOT to have an attorney, and some of the stuff you're saying sounds dubious under MO In MO anyway, the child support is considered the right of the child, which the parent can not waive or sign away in favor of some other arrangement, and is a fixed percentage of your income unless you are wealthy way beyond the standard amount. When I read your first post I worried you might wind up paying her health insurance AND years of back child support in arrears at some future date. It may be legally better for you to have the amount you're paying considered as child support, and if she uses it to purchase her health insurance that's her look-out. Tread very carefully here and be sure your lawyer is an experienced 'family practice lawyer'. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MILFHUNTER#518 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 minute ago, joesixpack said: In my experience you seeing the kid is irrelevant. They charge you what they charge you. And it's VERY easy for the custodial parent to !@#$ with the non-custodial parent, especially when the non-custodial parent is broke from mandatory payments and can't afford a lawyer's fees. Better to have it ironclad up front. I got my support negotiated down almost $100 per week that way two years ago. Still have to pay health ins and other stuff, but I am more than happy to pay all that stuff. Family law does vary state by state, maybe Jersey is different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanbillsfan2206 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 (edited) 14 minutes ago, joesixpack said: Was that really necessary? Yes. I’m sure he’s heard “oh I’m so sorry to hear that” a million times Edited September 19, 2018 by Seanbillsfan2206 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 15 minutes ago, Seanbillsfan2206 said: Congratulations man. I can tell you that dating in your 30s is getting a little rough, but whores are everywhere 15 minutes ago, joesixpack said: Was that really necessary? Hilarious. Come on, Joe!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts