Dumbest Power Ranking Write-Up of all Time

[OCinBuffalo]

Exhibit 1:

RANK

20

BILLS

1 

 

The Bills' slow lurch downward since the loss to the Jaguars in the Wild Card Round is not indicative of panic-worthy events. Rather, it's a reflection of how strong the team is right now. So,Bills Mafia, if you loved the Josh Allen choice, don't get angry. Because that pick doesn't do much to help the team in Week 1 of the 2018 season. He has an uphill curve ahead of him, although there are plenty of people who enjoy exaggerating that curve. Allen should be accelerating it. AJ McCarron is also a bit of an unknown, but he has flashed potential. Tremaine Edmunds (Round 1, No. 16) should get on the field rather quickly. By the way: That guy turned 20 on Wednesday.TWENTY. I was driving a Mitsubishi Mighty Max with no power steering and working at Bank One at 20. (Yeah, that place is defunct.)

 

Ok, let's take this journotarded abortion, one piece at a time.

 

1. WTF is a "slow lurch"? These two words don't belong together. It's like saying "extemely unique". A lurch, is a lurch. It cannot be, by definition, slow. Something is unique, or it isn't. Justice and Truth are also words that lose their meaning, or become antonyms, once modified. See: Weak Justice, Half Truth, Social Justice, Social Truth.

 

Here's the only Slow Lurch that makes sense.

 

2. IF we have "slowly lurched" downward...8 slots, from playoff team(minimum rank 12) to 20, how? We have gotten rid of the QB that kept us consistently out of the top 12 last year. So, who did we lose to create such a slide vs. who did we add in FA, never mind the draft? IF Tyrod is why we lost 8 spots, then seriously, WTF? He can't be the reason we don't break the top 10, AND, the reason we go down to 20, at the same time, after making the playoffs. This is farcical. 

 

3. Panic-worthy events?

 

4. Followed by: "a reflection of how strong the team is right now."? We are a "strong" 20th best team in the NFL? What in the Sam Hell is this guy saying? JFC, we could power warp engines on the # of contradictions this guy can create in 2 sentences. Contradiction drive: you warp space/time with so many contradictions...it just gives up and takes you where you want to go.

 

5. Why, if I loved the Allen pick, would I be angry? Wouldn't I be angry if I didn't love the Allen pick?

 

6. It's Uphill Climb and Learning Curve, not Uphill Curve, you child. There are also plenty of people that enjoy laughing at your exaggerated coherence.

 

7. Really: "accelerate that curve"? How the F is Allen supposed to accelerate a curve? Consider: a curve can either be a 2 or 3 dimensional construct. One can traverse a curve, but then you need to add the 4th dimension: time, to measure where we are on the curve at any point. But how does one accelerate something that exists objectively in physical reality? Folding it upon itself, at the sub-atomic level, just ahead of our traversal, or from the other end, seems to be the only reasonable solutions. And even then, it's F'ing pointless, when we'd rather travel to the other end of the curve by folding space, traveling through subspace, etc., to avoid the damnable restriction of the curve itself, which only allows us to move by its 2 or 3 dimensions.

 

I'm pretty sure Allen isn't here to teach us all arcane magic, or extra-dimensional physics/space travel. So again I ask: WTF?

 

8. We get rid of Tyrod, the Power Ranking Whipping Boy, replace him with McCarron, who can be no worse(well, in terms of power ranking excuse-making), and we go down 8 spots? 

 

9. We lose Preston Brown and gain a physical freak of nature...and...down 8 spots? 

 

10. Who the hell cares what you were doing when you were 20, why is that in this write-up? Unless...perhaps you are like, um 22, now, and this is the best writing you can do, and somehow, for reasons passing understanding, this is why we dropped to 20?  

 

For the 500th time I ask:

1. When/why did they stop paying editors to edit, and instead, do...whateverthef they do now?

2. IF you can't even get past the first phrase without contradiction, why the F do you have a job in writing? 

3. Is this the media, our protectors, that deserve our unconditional respect ? Seriously, these are the people that are going to "defend democracy", or make sure it doesn't die in the dark, or whatever. No. These are the people that spread idiocy, otherwise known as "the dark", and unfortunately, it falls to people like me to turn on the light, or put out their lights, as necessary.

 

 

Edited May 3, 2018 by OCinBuffalo

[Kemp]

lurch - make an abrupt, unsteady, uncontrolled movement or series of movements; stagger.

 

A stagger can be a slow lurch.

 

Thank God you're here to save us from the ignorance that surrounds us. 

[Nitro]

I read it and the logic he offered was staggering.  

[H2o]

2 minutes ago, Nitro said:

I read it and the logic he offered was staggering.  

Would you say his logic brought you to a slow lurch?

[Fadingpain]

So to review: the write-up is so dumb, you thought you'd dedicate a thread to it and write a few hundred words on the topic.

 

 

[BullBuchanan]

Opened a thread expecting a terrible take, and got a rant on the intricacies of the English language on top of it. Expectations exceeded 11/10.

[Lenigmusx]

Lmao

[row_33]

Slow lurch?

 

 

[Ol Dirty B]

So it wasn't the existence of a power ranking in May that was stupid, but opinions expressed in it, and you felt the need to write a thesis on it? 

 

Thanks for sharing.

Edited May 3, 2018 by Ol Dirty B

[boyst]

An OC post without @Tiberius is not an OC post.  Tibs, help us out.

[OCinBuffalo]

4 hours ago, Kemp said:

lurch - make an abrupt, unsteady, uncontrolled movement or series of movements; stagger.

 

A stagger can be a slow lurch.

 

Thank God you're here to save us from the ignorance that surrounds us. 

Yes, and my uncle would be my aunt if he wasn't dead, and also stupid enough to tell me that Ryan Miller sucked...in October...of the season he won the Vezina, because: the team doesn't like him.

 

More or less, it's my job to enlighten the unmitigated morons that abound. It's no secret that I tend to bring my work practices to this board. Where's the upside in accommodating the ignorant/stupid...for anyone...ever? The trouble is: instead of 3 dimensional chess, which would be interesting, I too often find myself playing 3 dimensional whack-a-mole. 

 

I find that the more we allow unmitigated morons access to unearned wisdom(Examples: saying "win/win", because you heard somebody else say it...without the experiences necessary to achieve it, saying "let's unpack this", without the intellectual rigor to unpack a backpack, etc.), the more cliché replaces actual didactic preparation, introspection, and objective examination of the facts, which require, real, work and talent? The more turds get their wings.

 

Hence, cliché, the absence of thought, gets misused, and, we get: The asinine Acceleration of the Curve Hypothesis, on offer above.  Or, how we arrive at the Bills, being a constant 15-20 power ranked team, with Tyrod somehow existing as a Schroedinger QB, whose presence, and, lack or presence, can not only be measured, but must always be the reason why we stay at 15-20 regardless of statistical outcome. Tyrod : Global Warming :: Tyrod : Climate Change.

Edited May 3, 2018 by OCinBuffalo

[OCinBuffalo]

3 hours ago, Fadingpain said:

So to review: the write-up is so dumb, you thought you'd dedicate a thread to it and write a few hundred words on the topic.

 

 

WTF do you want? Consider: the unmitigated moron wrote what he wrote. If there were only 1-3 stupid things, that's all I'd have said. If so, then it's what? 60 words? But he went full retard, didn't he? Why is it my fault that the man packed so much stupidity into his post? What, are you feeling a little insecure? Did you read through his "write-up" and miss 6/10 of my points? Dumbest: the tittle of this thread.

 

Sorry, but there is no word quota when it comes to crushing stupidity. Stupidity is a cancer, and whether it takes 1 word or 1k words, it must be destroyed.

 

Edited May 3, 2018 by OCinBuffalo

[Ol Dirty B]

3 minutes ago, OCinBuffalo said:

WTF do you want? Consider: the unmitigated moron wrote what he wrote. If there were only 1-3 stupid things, that's all I'd have said. If so, then it's what? 60 words? But he went full retard, didn't he? Why is it my fault that the man packed so much stupidity into his post? What, are you feeling a little insecure? Did you read through his "write-up" and miss 6/10 of my points? Dumbest: the tittle of this thread.

 

Sorry, but there is no word quota when it comes to crushing stupidity. Stupidity is a cancer, and whether it takes 1 word or 1k words, it must be destroyed.

 

 

But you're not destroying that stupidity, you're exposing the rest of us who would have never cared to this "cancer".

 

It's a write up in May about football. Get a grip and don't compare it to cancer. 

 

Talk about stupidity. Haven't read his write up, but I have no doubt you are giving him a run for his money.

[OCinBuffalo]

2 hours ago, Ol Dirty B said:

So it wasn't the existence of a power ranking in May that was stupid, but opinions expressed in it, and you felt the need to write a thesis on it? 

 

Thanks for sharing.

Again, I work with the material I am presented. The people on this board have known that for years. 

 

All too often, fools talk themselves into untenable positions, like the "You shouldn't be sad if you liked the Allen pick" idiocy above.

 

My MO for this handle will never change: I find stupid and destroy it, every day of the year.

[Ol Dirty B]

Just now, OCinBuffalo said:

Again, I work with the material I am presented. The people on this board have known that for years. 

 

All too often, fools talk themselves into untenable positions, like the "You shouldn't be sad if you liked the Allen pick" idiocy above.

 

My MO for this handle will never change: I find stupid and destroy it, every day of the year.

 

So when does your quest end with you consuming yourself?

[OCinBuffalo]

7 minutes ago, Ol Dirty B said:

 

But you're not destroying that stupidity, you're exposing the rest of us who would have never cared to this "cancer".

 

It's a write up in May about football. Get a grip and don't compare it to cancer. 

 

Talk about stupidity. Haven't read his write up, but I have no doubt you are giving him a run for his money.

Stupidity: making the choice, to draw conclusions based on ignorance.

 

You haven't read his write-up? It's at the top of the damn page. What? You're too lazy to read 5 sentences? 

 

(See? They always talk themselves right into it. Most times I hardly have to do a thing.)

Edited May 3, 2018 by OCinBuffalo

[Ol Dirty B]

8 minutes ago, OCinBuffalo said:

Stupidity: making the choice, to draw conclusions based on ignorance.

 

You haven't read his write-up? It's at the top of the damn page. What? You're too lazy to read 5 sentences? 

 

(See? They always talk themselves right into it. Most times I hardly have to do a thing.)

 

I skimmed it.

 

I consider it pragmatic to decide to not get as worked up as you over an nfl.com power ranking in May. 

 

You are that simple in that you don't get this. It's not lazy, it's that no one cares. It's a power ranking in May. 

 

You talk about you work with what you are presented, the !@#$ is going on in your head? 

 

You weren't presented this. You sought it out. You consumed it, and you chose to be angry.

 

The only thing sane people care about less than NFL power rankings in May, is your vendetta against them. And how you consider them a form of cancer.

 

You're delusional. Seriously, get a grip. I honestly hope you are retired and just have nothing better to do because I can't see how any of your world view is healthy otherwise. 

 

So no I didn't really read them or pay attention to you're diatribe. Because for the 5th time, it's May. Power rankings don't even matter in December. This whole thread is the embodiment of what you rail against, and I feel like I've wasted my time even responding. This is the opposite of pragmatism.

Edited May 3, 2018 by Ol Dirty B

[OCinBuffalo]

8 minutes ago, Ol Dirty B said:

 

So when does your quest end with you consuming yourself?

Nah. In this thread, I'm well on my way to consuming you, aren't I?

 

There's a very large and long trail of posters and posts that I have...excreted...after I was done with them. 

[Ol Dirty B]

1 minute ago, OCinBuffalo said:

Nah. In this thread, I'm well on my way to consuming you, aren't I?

 

There's a very large and long trail of posters and posts that I have...excreted...after I was done with them. 

 

I'm doubtful, but whatever gets your rocks off buddy.

 

You seem like you've got some real issues man, I wish you well.

 

Truly I do, I'm done.

[OCinBuffalo]

1 minute ago, Ol Dirty B said:

 

I skimmed it.

 

I consider it pragmatic to decide to not get as worked up as you over an nfl.com power ranking in May. 

 

You are that simple in that you don't get this. It's not lazy, it's that no one cares. It's a power ranking in May. 

 

You talk about you work with what you are presented, the !@#$ is going on in your head? 

 

You weren't presented this. You sought it out. You consumed it, and you chose to be angry.

 

The only thing sane people care about less than NFL power rankings in May, is your vendetta against them. And how you consider them a form of cancer.

 

You're delusional. Seriously, get a grip. I honestly hope you are retired and just have nothing better to do because I can't see how any of your world view is healthy otherwise. 

 

So no I didn't really read them or pay attention to you're diatribe. Because for the 5th time, it's May. Power rankings don't even matter in December. This whole thread is the embodiment of what you rail against, and I feel like I've wasted my time even responding. This is the opposite of pragmatism.

No. I was presented this...on my phone. So, I clicked on it. Which, ostensibly was the both the NFL's, and writer's intent: to send me a message, entailing their best work.  So, having settled the question: it was presented, I did not seek it out, the next question is? Should I prevent the NFL website from sending me any more utter nonsense from unmitigated morons?

 

Right now? It's 6/5 and pick em. 

 

Hey, you know, with your backpedal ability, you should seriously consider trying to secure a combine bid. Senior Day? UDFA camp workout? I mean, the whole NFL is looking for your backpedal ability, the only question is: can you plant your foot and come back to the "ball", or, are you "too stiff in the hips"? 

 

Buddy, I do things on a daily basis that influence more people that you can possibly imagine...and...I've been doing it at the NFL level since I was 23. There is no such thing as retirement from my profession.