Beerball Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Why are old people so angry?Lack of fibre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clippers of Nfl Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Lack of fibre. I was going to say Lack of sex Howard please excuse the personal question. How often do you have sex with Shirl? Dont reply if you dont want to. I'll reply my sex schedule if you ask me about it too, to be fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 Hi all. This is Shirly. Howard had a little spell this afternoon while he was edging the grass along the front sidewalk. He wanted me to tell you he is good and he is resting on the sofa watching golf. He also said he will be ready for Cletus (don't know him or this gugny fellow) in a few hours if (and I quote) "that little bastard decides to show his face on my property". He'll be back soon friends. Thanks for making his days entertaining. Shirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I'm an avid fan of "Criminal Minds." After watching every episode over the last ten or so years, I've developed decent profiling skills. The unsub we're looking for is a married, white male in his 40s - 50s. We believe the trigger for "Howard's" recent emergence was the Bruce Jenner interview that aired a few weeks ago. You wouldn't know it, but the unsub is suffering from a gender identity crisis and likely wears his wife's underwear to work every day. He shaves his legs and checks his breasts for lumps every day. The unsub is gainfully employed, but likely horrible at what he does, due to preoccupation from wishing he was a woman. We could never know Howard's true identity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryCletus Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 We believe our unsub also resides in the basement of his parents house, often forced into yard work and laundry to "pay for room and board". This unsub is also very unstable mentally and when even slightly provoked becomes very angry and violent- it is more probable than not that this unsub is incredibly weak and scared and when confronted in person will run several counties away. Apparently Shirley didn't want to talk sex... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Joey is doing his mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryCletus Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Oh boy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 Why do you little peckers say things about Shirl? I asked her to come on here and tell you all I was ok and resting and now you wish it was still Shirl and not me. This clitus guy is really making my blood boil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 So Howard , how many times did you cheat on your wife. Ever do it with the wife's sister? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Shirl had three brothers. But her mom was quite the looker. She had this powder blue bonnet she'd wear with a white hoop under her dress on sundays. Once in a while i'd see ankle and things went from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 So you did your mother inlaw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deranged Rhino Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I'm an avid fan of "Criminal Minds." Who's your favorite on the team? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryCletus Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Why do you little peckers say things about Shirl? I asked her to come on here and tell you all I was ok and resting and now you wish it was still Shirl and not me. This clitus guy is really making my blood boil. We can duel if you still have those musket pistols... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Who's your favorite on the team? I was always a Gideon fan and kept waiting for him to come back; but that ship sailed. I like Spence and Garcia a lot, though; honestly, I enjoy all of them for one reason or another. Was thrilled when the original J-Lo joined the cast. She's still smokin' hot, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Cletus I can meet you any time. Shirl told me to hold my temper and said you were all real sweet but you and that gugny kid are like little brats I used to punch in the nose at recess. I wish there was an address on here for you because Id drive over in my Oldsmobile Delta 88 and have a word or two with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Cletus I can meet you any time. Shirl told me to hold my temper and said you were all real sweet but you and that gugny kid are like little brats I used to punch in the nose at recess. I wish there was an address on here for you because Id drive over in my Oldsmobile Delta 88 and have a word or two with you. Howard, you seem like a good guy, but picking fights is against TBD policy, especially threats of violence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deranged Rhino Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I was always a Gideon fan and kept waiting for him to come back; but that ship sailed. I like Spence and Garcia a lot, though; honestly, I enjoy all of them for one reason or another. Was thrilled when the original J-Lo joined the cast. She's still smokin' hot, IMO. Good stuff. Gubler and Vagnsess were always my favorites, with Joe and Shemar right there as well in terms of quality humans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) Welcome! Do I make that picture by typing "smiley face and I would like a beer"? Just wondering. I have been around since the Cookie days myself, Howard. Favorite Bill was Tom Day. I shook his hand when I was about eleven. Shirl had three brothers. But her mom was quite the looker. She had this powder blue bonnet she'd wear with a white hoop under her dress on sundays. Once in a while i'd see ankle and things went from there. Was your Mom's name N.J. Sue? I feel this thread drifting towards the pickle juice jar. Got any tennis balls? My sh*tter is clogged. Edited May 11, 2015 by rockpile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryCletus Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Cletus I can meet you any time. Shirl told me to hold my temper and said you were all real sweet but you and that gugny kid are like little brats I used to punch in the nose at recess. I wish there was an address on here for you because Id drive over in my Oldsmobile Delta 88 and have a word or two with you. I'm currently away for some military training, but when I return at the end of the month, I would be more than happy to pass along my address (and credit card information, bc that's what we do around here)... We could meet up and drink old fashion's or whatever you old people prefer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Do I make that picture by typing "smiley face and I would like a beer"? Just wondering. I have been around since the Cookie days myself, Howard. Favorite Bill was Tom Day. I shook his hand when I was about eleven. Was your Mom's name N.J. Sue? I feel this thread drifting towards the pickle juice jar. Got any tennis balls? My sh*tter is clogged. The good old days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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