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The Most Annoying Business Jargon


Booster4324

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Read the list, the author comes across sorta pedantic, but I have to admit I hate some of this crap.

 

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Linguistic gobbledygook has taken over America's conference rooms. Put a stop to the nonsense.

 

History books don't denote when our business culture cut its anchors to the English language. But perhaps one day our tomes will record exactly when the jargon-slingers took over. And make no mistake, they have taken over.

 

Phrases from the list that I have heard:

Drill Down - Used by a sales rep for a program that allows us to generate a lot of business metrics.

 

Ducks In a Row - A friend of mine has used this for years, always made sense when he said it though...

 

Not on the list, but mentioned:

Low-hanging Fruit - Same friend used it, but in the context of the conversation (stressed out IT resources and how best we should try and allocate what time we got for our projects) made perfect sense.

 

Your thoughts?

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A lot on that list that I haven't heard before, but mostly I don't see what the problem is. The writer and those quoted act like these phrases are completely out of left field and don't have anything to do with the human experience. In reality, they're just over-used and get a little annoying (though I wouldn't say that for every one of them..."let's talk that"???)

 

Though I have to admit "110%" is a pet peeve of mine. Seriously, when did 100% become not enough to get your point across?

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What's most annoying to me is not phrases, as such, but stupid trumped-up job titles. Stuff like, 'Business Acumen Enterprise Development Recruiter - Retention' or 'Associate Senior Initiative Application Strategist.'

 

Does someone sit there and make these things up, or is it more like a lottery system where they have a cage full of vague business words, pull out six and mash them together? What the f--- does a 'General Regional Structural Compliance Risk Consultant - Claims' do? Why does everyone's business card have to sound so self-important d--che-baggy?

 

Then again, when I worked construction b/w semesters of college, I was 'Vice President of the Men's Room' at the shop.

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Read the list, the author comes across sorta pedantic, but I have to admit I hate some of this crap.

 

Link

 

 

 

 

Phrases from the list that I have heard:

Drill Down - Used by a sales rep for a program that allows us to generate a lot of business metrics.

 

Ducks In a Row - A friend of mine has used this for years, always made sense when he said it though...

 

Not on the list, but mentioned:

Low-hanging Fruit - Same friend used it, but in the context of the conversation (stressed out IT resources and how best we should try and allocate what time we got for our projects) made perfect sense.

 

Your thoughts?

 

I have never used "ducks in a row"...but I have suggested to people that we should queue our aquatic fowl...before the solid biological waste material intersects the oscillating cooling device, of course.

 

I think that was when the Commie sub captain said, "Go to 110 percent on the reactor" in "The Hunt for Red October."

 

Truth be told...in those terms, "110%" is perfectly valid. WWII aircraft engines I know had a "full power" rating (100%) and a "war emergency" rating greater than 100% (usually 110-115%, as I recall) power. The difference being that "full power" is the max that you can run the engine for any length of time, whereas "war emergency" was good for a few minutes and grounded the plane for a complete engine rebuild afterwards.

 

So "110%" is valid in strict engineering terms...but blisteringly stupid when managing people, since it basically means "I want you hospitalized by the end of the day."

 

What's most annoying to me is not phrases, as such, but stupid trumped-up job titles. Stuff like, 'Business Acumen Enterprise Development Recruiter - Retention' or 'Associate Senior Initiative Application Strategist.'

 

Does someone sit there and make these things up, or is it more like a lottery system where they have a cage full of vague business words, pull out six and mash them together? What the f--- does a 'General Regional Structural Compliance Risk Consultant - Claims' do? Why does everyone's business card have to sound so self-important d--che-baggy?

 

Then again, when I worked construction b/w semesters of college, I was 'Vice President of the Men's Room' at the shop.

 

In college, when I delivered pizza, I had business cards made up with the title "Nutrition Transportation Engineer".

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So "110%" is valid in strict engineering terms...but blisteringly stupid when managing people, since it basically means "I want you hospitalized by the end of the day."

 

 

 

 

I worked for a company and their motto was "only perfection will do." !@#$ing great. Setting us up for failure on a daily basis.

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Truth be told...in those terms, "110%" is perfectly valid. WWII aircraft engines I know had a "full power" rating (100%) and a "war emergency" rating greater than 100% (usually 110-115%, as I recall) power. The difference being that "full power" is the max that you can run the engine for any length of time, whereas "war emergency" was good for a few minutes and grounded the plane for a complete engine rebuild afterwards.

 

So "110%" is valid in strict engineering terms...but blisteringly stupid when managing people, since it basically means "I want you hospitalized by the end of the day."

 

And one more thing...one of the ways they got "110% power" out of piston engines in WWII was water-alcohol injection into the cylinders. So the next time someone says "We have to give 110%," it's perfectly reasonable to respond that you can't give that much without significant imbibing of hard liquor... :w00t:

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and without 110% where would nigel tufnel be?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbVKWCpNFhY

 

And one more thing...one of the ways they got "110% power" out of piston engines in WWII was water-alcohol injection into the cylinders. So the next time someone says "We have to give 110%," it's perfectly reasonable to respond that you can't give that much without significant imbibing of hard liquor... :w00t:

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And one more thing...one of the ways they got "110% power" out of piston engines in WWII was water-alcohol injection into the cylinders. So the next time someone says "We have to give 110%," it's perfectly reasonable to respond that you can't give that much without significant imbibing of hard liquor... :w00t:

Ah for the days of 130 octane AV gas...

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