Phlem, you've gotten some great advice here and I'll just add on more thing. When it comes to ass kicking time (and believe me it will) i employ a technique that I use with my 7 year old. I sit employee x down to discuss the matter and firmly and in no uncertain terms, explain the situation and what I want done different. Stern eye contact is a must. After all is said I do a complete 180 and bring up some topic (work story, current event, sports) just to leave it on a positive note. It works like a charm.
Butter..stir in some chopped garlic (Obviously, keep stirring, don't let it burn), Franks, cayenne, cajun, tiny bit of ketchup, and a cap full of lemon juice to open the pores in your mouth. Serve w/ cold beer.
Love how the guy yelled "Boom" as he landed the punch. Hey, if you're going to start trouble with random people on the street, you have to accept the consequences. Sometimes you kick the gong, sometimes the gong kicks you.
The guilt donation at the check out. "Would you like to donate 89 cents for hand sanitizers for the military?" Um...no. Then you get the look like you don't care and your not a good American.