Your Answer!!
Here's how the commercial pitch would go:
Marketing Director: "So Johnny, what product line are you working on?"
Johnny Hammersticks: "Well Frank, have you ever sat down to take a leak or even a **** and you accidentally crush one of your balls under your thigh?"
(Advertising and marketing guys all cross their legs at the same time)
Johnny : "Well, it's happened to me...and that's why we are introducing the new line of "Thong Dongs"...with a "Thong Dong" you have the freedom to take a dump given its open back end AND your balls are protected from sudden gravitational movement as you lower your ass to the seat. You can now pee or **** with the comfort of knowing your testis will be nicely cupped in your groin and avoid the embarrassment of howling in pain during a 2am pee break. Try the "ThongDong"...I did."
*applause*