ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

Well, I got the s**t kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it! That's just another reason why we need a spokesman for the virus. No urban assault vehicle required.

To the best of my knollege Magic never had a formal contract to be the spokesman for the AIDS virus - - he just saw a need and stepped up. I don't see why it should be any different for the zika virus, but I admit I'm not familiar with how the public health system works in Brazil.

The Bills have a great marketing opportunity staring them in the face. This will make more sense if I give you a little background first. I know I can be a little (??!!??) wordy, but this an important topic.[/size] Buffalo and the Bills clearly have an image problem. The Bills could be really good this year, but the national news media (and therefore the general public) hears Buffalo Bills, and what do they think? C'mom, admit it. You know they think losers of four straight Super Bowls and blizzards. Even the NFL Commissioner gets on Buffalo's case about the condition of our stadium. But the Bills now have a golden opportunity to completely turn Buffalo's public image around. Let me explain. You know why Los Angeles has a sparkling media image these days? It wasn't always that way. I'll tell you why it changed. One day Magic Johnson of the Lakers took a bold step, and changed the image of Los Angeles forever. As a professional athlete of a major sport (not as big as the NFL, but still major), Magic grabbed the bully pulpit available to him. During some of the scariest days of the AIDS epidemic, he held a press conference, and became a "spokesman for the virus." Bravo, Magic. Public awareness was heightened, and research funding increased many times over. While AIDS wasn't cured, it became a manageable disease that is no longer a death sentence. Los Angeles and the Lakers still basque in the glow of that bright shining moment. So what does that have to do with the Bills? Well, the Summer Olympics in Rio start in less than a month, and now another terrible virus has raised its ugly face. This time, it's the zika virus. Do you know much about it? I'm guessing probably not. And you know why? Because totally apart from the fact that they gave it a name that sounds like an appetizer in a Greek restaurant, the zika virus has no spokesman. That's right, nobody, and I mean nobody, speaks for the zika virus. But nature abwhores a vacuum, so somebody is going to step into that void. If not Buffalo and the Bills, then who? If not now, when? Wouldn't it be great if Buffalo and the Bills were associated with curing the zika virus, and maybe saving the Summer Olympics in the process? Wouldn't it be wonderful if the next time you mentioned the Buffalo Bills to your friends and neighbors, they replied how great a public service the city and team did by raising awareness of the zika virus and helping to raise funds that led to a cure? Wouldn't that be far better than having to endure snide remarks about the 4 Super Bowl losses and the snow? It's within our grasp, people. Who better to grab the bully pulpit and speak for the zika virus than a player on the team that Rex promised to build into bully? Marquell Goodwin is an obvious choice for the zika virus spokesman role, because he's already been to the Olympic games, and since he failed to qualify this year, he's got some time on his hands before training camp starts. Some will say that he won't even make the Bills team this year, either, and why should we make a likely two-time loser a spokesman for the virus. But that ignores history. Magic retired, and was no longer a member of the Lakers, when he became a spokesman for the AIDS virus. And just like Goodwin, he had been to the Olympic games before becoming the virus spokesman. Despite all that, the money flowed in and the disease ultimately became manageable. Besides, Goodwin competed in the long jump, which must have been one of the events in the original, truly athletic Olympic games conducted in ancient Greece. It's not a disgrace like it would be if he failed at something wussy like synchronized swimming or rhythmic gymnastics. So I think he's qualified for the job. So what do you think? Are the Bills savvy enough to step up the plate and change the team's and city's image for the better? Or are we all doomed to the same snide remarks from friends and neighbors while babies keep getting born with birth defects? And if you don't want Glass Goodwin in the harsh spotlight of the zika virus spokesman role, which Bills player do you think is best suited for the job? Do we have any players with Greek ancestry - - seems like that might be even better? I know where I come out on this issue - - how about you? Let's get back to being proud of Buffalo and our Bills !!! Please convince Marquell to make it happen, Pegs.

In fairness, I did mention that you probably didn't want to go there. How come nobody ever listens to me when we start talking about the Bills and Toronto?

If so, it will be the first time. My path was neither straight nor narrow, and led me somewhere you probably don't want to go, at least not if you are at work. Do you have any insights about how the Pegulas feel about ostriches and emus? http://scicurious.scientopia.org/2011/12/16/friday-weird-science-the-erection-of-the-ostrich/

Since it's silly season before training camp starts, I decided to goozle the Internet tubes in the precise manner you so blithely suggested. I found nothing about the Pegulas, but I learned quite a bit about duck penises. The link below came up on the first page of my search: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/22/ballistic-penises-and-corkscrew-vaginas-the-sexual-battles-of-ducks/#.V310XuliORs So I didn't learn anything about the Bills, and I'm so mad that I'm about to go ballistic. Proof that I'm telling the truth: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=fracking+oil+shale+wood+ducks+sexual+reproduction

Serious question, because I'm too lazy to try to goozle-chat this today. Is the Pegulas' "massive investment" in the Buffalo area bigger than what they paid to buy the Bills? Because if it's not, then maximizing the return from their investment in the Bills Trumps their need to get a return from what they spend elsewhere in Buffalo. Think "sunk costs," which should be ignored in making future economic decisions.

Then we'd just have one more wall for the writing to be on.

A few of my favorites: 1. "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." - - Henry Ford 2. "Nothing is impossible, provided you use audacity." - - Gen. George S. Patton 3. "Little guys get in groups, big guys single file." - - A former team-mate of mine to opponents when things got chippy. 4. "Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then, say 'What the f***.' 'What the f***' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." - - Miles 5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." - - Me, sometimes, after saying 'What the f***'

"Kim-baby, I know the Patriots** say they win because they practice situational football, but can't we just do the Gatorade shower thing at home without Doug?"

Hey Pooj, I sometimes read a wide-ranging financial forum site (fatwallet.com), and saw a reference to a different website that you might find useful: https://www.earnest.com I know nothing about the earnest.com website, and it was only mentioned in passing at fatwallet.com. I briefly scanned the earnest.com home page, and it looked like it might offer some flexibility in choosing payment terms. I did not drill down any further than that. Anyway, use it entirely at your own risk - - just thought it might be helpful for purpose of comparing to what your credit union already offered you. Good luck. Edit: Just realized that Levi already mentioned Earnest upthread. Oops.

A third option, if you own either a car or a house/condo that is worth more than what you owe on them, would be to refinance the car or house at what is likely to be a much lower interest rate than 8.99%, and use the cash to pay off all or part of the student loan. Even if this only lets you pay off part of the student loan balance, it would save you some $$ (but puts your house or car at risk if you ever find yourself unable to make the payments on the replacement loan).

Assuming the first 2 paragraphs of the OP were serious, see the "Quick Summary" on the first page of this very long thread: https://www.fatwallet.com/forums/finance/711457/

I can also recommend hiking Valley of Fire state park. Make sure to drive the road that leads up into a canyon behind the visitor's center - - there are a number of scenic trails that start near that road. The area is scenic even from the road. http://parks.nv.gov/parks/valley-of-fire-state-park/ Second choice (although it's a little closer) is the Red Rock Canyon area. Not as striking as Valley of Fire, but still pretty nice. It also has a visitor's center with info about many trails in the area. http://www.redrockcanyonlv.org Third option - - the Hoover Dam tour: http://www.usbr.gov/lc/hooverdam/service/DamTour.html I've also been told by hiking friends that there is a trailhead near the dam - - the trail follows an old abandoned railroad right of way that was used to bring supplies into the canyon when the dam was being built. I haven't hiked it myself. Also, probably farther away than most would want for a day trip, but if you really like to hike, Zion National Park is about 3 hours away, and it is SPECTACULAR. Most consider Angel's Landing and The Narrows the two most iconic trails in the park. Snow Canyon state park near Saint George, UT is about 2 hours away from Las Vegas, much less publicized than Zion, but also very striking. Easier to do as a day trip out of Las Vegas because it's closer, but still a longer drive for a day trip than many would prefer - - depends on how much you like to hike vs. spending time in the casinos. https://stateparks.utah.gov/parks/snow-canyon/ Lots of options, so whatever you decide, enjoy!

Road trip?

Then you should have named him Corey Moore.

Late to the thread, but how about "Rockpile" - - and call him Rocky for short.

On my own time, I've always pretty much been a jeans or shorts and generic "polo shirt" guy, so nothing that would have made me stand out from the weekend crowd at Butera's. I was sad to recently learn that Butera's closed quite some time ago - - although these days I rarely get back to Houston. When I do, a visit to Pappadeaux for crawfish etouffee is pretty much mandatory if time permits.

If you ever frequented Butera's deli on weekends, we may have crossed paths at some point.

Getting drunk because you have to fly INTO Detroit I could understand. Getting drunk when you're about to fly out - - not so much.

What ever happened to the single entendre?

I don't know what business the OP works in, but many companies have valuable trade secrets that give them a competitive advantage. If you want to be able to go after people who steal them, one of the things you have to be able to demonstrate in court is that you took reasonable steps to keep the information secret. So companies that care about maintaining a competitive advantage do things like setting up checkpoints to enter areas that contain confidential information. Trade secrets take various forms - - could be scientific research info, could be customer information, could be any type of info that gives the company an advantage over competitors that don't have that info. Just spitballing here, but if the company lets in all camera phones after somehow logging them, my guess is that they want to have the ability later, if the employee quits and goes to work for a competitor, to more easily discover exactly how that phone was used in the days and months before the employee quit. FWIW, if some other employee quits in the future and tries to take some of the company's trade secrets to his new employer, the company can point to the firing of this idiot as proof that they not only set up policies to protect their confidential information, but actually enforce those policies. In the long run, if the company really does have confidential information that gives it an advantage over its competitors, then keeping that information confidential helps the company stay in business so that all of its employees can continue to have jobs.

Wait … what? The Pegulas are gay?

She could probably dip a shoulder and get leverage around the end, but I doubt she would terrorize offensive linemen the way Bruce did. Besides, if she looked like Bruce, shouldn't she be catching the money?

You guys are over-thinking this. The NFL has a salary cap. Doesn't matter if that cap is hard, soft or somewhere i between, it only applies to salary. If we've used up our allocated amount of salary for the coming league year, why don't we just agree to pay Incognito on an hourly basis, instead of paying him a salary? As far as I know, the NFL doesn't have a wage cap. Maybe the Bills have old payroll software that can't handle the high hourly wage figure that would be required, sort of like when the Y2k software bug caused all sorts of problems at the turn of the century. But if we figured out a way to solve the Y2k software problem, we ought to be able to fix the payroll software, too.