stevestojan Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 A couple is having their first baby, and are in the delivery room. The soon to be father looks over at his pregnant wife, and she starts SCREAMING, "Can't!... It's!....Shouldn't!.... Didn't! ....Won't!.... It's! ...That's!" The husband, very concerned, runs over to the doctor to ask what is wrong with his wife. The doctor says "Nothing to worry about sir. It's just contractions" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 A couple is having their first baby, and are in the delivery room. The soon to be father looks over at his pregnant wife, and she starts SCREAMING, "Can't!... It's!....Shouldn't!.... Didn't! ....Won't!.... It's! ...That's!" The husband, very concerned, runs over to the doctor to ask what is wrong with his wife. The doctor says "Nothing to worry about sir. It's just contractions" 476377[/snapback] If I ever meet you in person, I am going to punch you in the friggin' nuts for posting that joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Maybe I'm tired. But I don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Maybe I'm tired. But I don't get it. 476396[/snapback] You almost got me on this one Aussie! I had to delete my post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanM.D. Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 Count me among the almost ignorant. It took me about five reads to "get it." ....then I laughed pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 i want those 5 seconds of my life back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 i want those 5 seconds of my life back 476714[/snapback] Are you new here? Don't you go into stevestojan posts knowing 5 seconds will be wasted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 I laughed at that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swede316 Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 You want stupid jokes...well here ya go: A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swede316 Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with . . a misdewiener! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swede316 Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there. The nervous sergeant said, Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we have the camel." The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges", so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges". Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?", No . not really, sir...They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Someone, anyone, please revolk Swede316's posting privileges. He must be stopped! And Aussie...you got me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 In the spirit of Halloween... A bad joke: What do you call an artsy pumpkin? An Avant-Gourd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swede316 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 And I need to be stopped? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 it's halloween time in west virginia...let's all go out and pumpkin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gross Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 In the spirit of Halloween... A bad joke: What do you call an artsy pumpkin? An Avant-Gourd 480136[/snapback] A skeleton walks into a bar and says "Give me a beer and a mop." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 you know what? pedophiles are !@#$ing immature a-holes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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