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Deadspin: Why the Bills suck


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I thought that was hillarious like most of the why your team sucks series. Really enjoyed the reader story about getting season tickets:

 

I live close by, love the NFL, and decided to get season tickets to the Bills last year.

 

First game against KC: Four obese gentlemen then get seated to my immediate right, one wearing a Mexican wrestling mask and going by "NAAAAACHO" and another wearing a hard hat, proceed to lift their shirts and pretend to lick each other to encourage women above them for three quarters. Doesn't work. Guy behind me leaves after 2nd quarter.

 

Second game against NE: Took a partner from my law firm who's a Pats fan (didn't wear any pats stuff), never been to an NFL game. Guy in front of us, before kickoff, literally fell over the benches 3 times. Took off his jersey to reveal a large surgery scar. Falls on my boss. After the Bills drop three touchdowns in the third quarter, a woman starts screaming literal death threats at Pats fans. If I hadn't been smart enough to take him up front to see Tom Brady during warmups, I'd probably have been fired.

 

Third game against TEN: Two guys in the section over get in a standing, drunken yelling match after one shouts "OSKIE WEE WEE" and another shouts "ARGOOOOOOOS," chants from CFL teams. Guy attending the game alone in circa 1992 starter hat gets up literally 15 times during game, asks Quebecers next to us why they're speaking Spanish.

 

Fourth (night) game against MIA: Complete and total drunken shitfest. Hear from a local that Ralph Wilson personally banned night games until the NFL forced him because in the 80's a guy climbed to the top of the field goal posts. Fans turn aerial placard "thank veterans" promo into gigantic cardboard airplanes. Found out the next day a dude from Rochester died, shocked it wasn't more, and supposedly there were 30 DUI arrests.

Had three games left. Thank God for Stubhub.

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The tailgates are like the Thunderdome, if you added wings and replaced Tina Turner with a mustachioed out-of-work electrician from Tonawanda with a sleeveless “You Got The Reich One” t-shirt and a skinful of warm Labatt’s.

 

Bingo.

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While this comment is truly not a funny thing, I couldn't stop the tears of laughter. I'm not a bad person, really.....but only it would only happen to a bills fan.

 

 

"We had a fan drown at a game last year".

Edited by NewEra
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It would be hilarious... if most didn't hit so close to home.

 

 

"Here is the worst part: the Gailey years were orchestrated by GM Buddy Nix, who is 4,000,000,000 years old. The Bills went 16-32 the past three seasons."

 

 

 

 

Dick Jauron quote, Its tough to win in the NFL...to be a Bills fan

Edited by FeartheLosing
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The date was October 11th, 2009.

Derek Anderson completes 2/17 for 23 yards with a pick. Posts a 2.1 QBR.

Browns snap 10-game losing streak, beat Bills 6-3.

J.P. Losman, Rob Johnson, Trent Edwards, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Todd Collins, Brian Brohm, Alex Van Pelt, Kelly Holcomb, and Drew Bledsoe can all get human centipeded.

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According to the nine worst Bills ever, the franchise has been around for 11 years/

 

No, that's just the amount of time that the atrocious drafting has been around. For years they've been pretty much throwing 1st round picks in the garbage with the trash they've selected. Maybin and McCargo so bad they weren't even dressed for games? Unacceptable.

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No, that's just the amount of time that the atrocious drafting has been around. For years they've been pretty much throwing 1st round picks in the garbage with the trash they've selected. Maybin and McCargo so bad they weren't even dressed for games? Unacceptable.

Jeff Wright was a pretty damn bad NT. That moustache had everyone fooled, but not me.

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The autor is pretty knowledgeable about was has been happening with the franchise. Nix record as GM: 16-32. And Nix is the guy who appointed Whaley as his successor as the article states. Not good.

There are QBs far worse than Rob Johnson in Bills history....

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