love it, except I would modify it a bit
Waitress: Can I help you?
Dick: Do you have any white bread ma'am?
Waitress: Yeah.
Dick: I'll have a single slice of toasted white bread please, if it's too much trouble to toast it don't worry about it and no rush whatsoever ma'am.
Waitress: You want butter or jam on that, honey?
Dick: No ma'am, dry.
Waitress: Do you want anything to drink with that?
Dick: No ma'am.