Hurricane Marv

Confirmed sad old weirdo.

He's not the greatest yet but I'm kind of surprised by how many people are dismissing this. It's really not a completely ridiculous opinion. His last five years has got to be one of the best stretches in history statistically speaking, and Rice didn't even really start going bonkers until his early 30's. Brown's putting together a special career right now.

That's if he were to average like 1100-1200 yards per year, which might be selling him short. He's averaged about 1560 yards per season over the last 5 seasons (!) and had a legitimate shot at 2000 this year before he got hurt. It's a long shot for sure, but if he goes nuts for the next five years as well then he's definitely in the conversation.

Also makes sense.

I like Richardson as well. I feel like Decker has genuinely lost a step. There were a few weeks this year where I felt like he had a sneaky good match-up and would deliver from a fantasy perspective and he fell flat. He's tough as nails, but he's on the wrong side of 30 and just seems terribly mediocre nowadays. Should stay young at the position and target a Jerry Hughes receiver if we feel the need to grab one - a heralded prospect 3/4 years into the league that could potentially explode with a change of scenery (so Paul Richardson, basically). Above all else this team needs somebody that can stretch the field. Speed, speed, speed. Ideally speed and hands, anything else is gravy. Paul Richardson ran a 4.4 40 by the way. Known for his acceleration. Character guy. Buffs? Buffalo? It's too perfect.

Actually there's a ton of next generation data out there that actually does prove that Benjamin's separation as an individual has been terrible since last year. Really not that difficult to find. That graph ultimately still didn't really say anything about him personally.

So this random data without any backstory concludes that Benjamin is a slow, poor route running receiver with bad hands? What constitutes this data? When was it taken? Entire season, or after Benjamin got there? Is this Benjamin specifically? C'mon now, don't throw up a colored chart without any real context and suggest that it means Benjamin is overrated. Show me a chart that clearly indicates that Benjamin lacks separation relative to his peers over his entire career, which frankly shouldn't be that difficult to find or put together, rather than cherry picking other people's information from other threads to frame your own argument, please.

Despise him in general, but it's kind of hard to blame him for being a bit full of himself or a narcissist in general objectively speaking. The guy is a like some perfect stepford husband / alien hybrid / robot thing. Again, I don't like him, but he lives an essentially perfect life that's unlike anything that 99.9999999% of all other human beings experience, so of course he's going to be different. He doesn't even age or heal like us.

To be fair regarding Goodwin, he practically had a foot out of the league as a novelty just a couple of years back. I don't think anybody anticipated that he'd have the year that he did. Testament to Jimmy G. and San Francisco's lack of options, really.

They have very similar careers thus far, except Benjamin doesn't upset the locker room and seemingly believes that the Earth is round. I'll take the latter (plus the 5 or so extra inches). Very similar career arcs though.

Sweet troll. Nobody who actually knows what they're talking about agrees with this. You'd think a fat, slow, poor route running wide receiver with bad hands would garner a lot less interest in this league, but I guess everybody else is just dumber than this guy...

They got rid of Inman too though, and apparently still think Kevin White is the future? Who knows, the Bears are kind of a mess right now in all honesty. Have they made a good decision in like 2 or 3 years?

To be fair there are like three wide receivers in history that are anywhere near Fitzgerald at this point. Not a fair comparison. You can certainly always upgrade, but there are far worse "#1" receivers on teams right now. Call him a 1B if you will, but Benjamin is a talent when healthy. "When healthy" is what concerns me most at this point. Come to think of it, rather than arguing if Benjamin is a #1 or not, I frankly can't really think of any #2's that are better. So hell, if we happen to have potentially the best #2 receiver in the league I'll take it. Calling him a #3 at this point is just extreme.

Like the McCarron idea. Very hesitant about going overboard for Cousins - seems like a classic blowup move that could set the franchise back for years.

I don't know about excellent. He's pretty one dimensional as was seen when Hopkins was out.

Dude is a boring, 10 year old troll / joke, but I'll bite just to point out that he's calling a coaching staff that scored 10 points, managed 87 passing yards in the entire game, and that didn't run a single offensive play on our side of the field in the first quarter, "superior". Marrone was almost beat by a first year head coach today, and if he had any edge whatsoever, it's only due to experience. Our passing play call on the 1 yard line was absurd, but other than that any objective, real person saw a relatively equal match-up today from a coaching perspective, which frankly doesn't paint an experienced coach like Marrone in a "superior" light whatsoever. "Superior". If you reigned in your exaggerations a bit Savior, your schtick might finally grow some legs. Instead you're still failing miserably after more than a decade. Yikes.

I'll thank him. He's tough as nails and was clearly a well-liked leader on this team. He played a part in ending the drought, don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise. He's not the right fit going forward, but I wish him the best and hope he finds a spot somewhere else, and that we do everything possible this offseason to upgrade QB.

I think he's intentionally dipping below 100% to take another knock at Jonathan Martin, and that 70% is just a random, meaningless number. Came across to me as saying "while there may be some pussies in this league (like Jonathan Martin), don't try me".

Hoping he recovers as well. Anybody making light of his injury is a scumbag.

Seems like half of these sentences kind of just wander off on their own. What was the point about Odell Beckham?

My sources tell me that Dunkirk Don has no less than three DWIs and currently shitposts from the Dunkirk Public Library. He's the big lumberjack looking guy with the Mountain Dew 2 liter and XXXL Garfield t-shirt (Don doesn't do Mondays).

I'm just annoyed that you ruined a perfectly good parody account and alt with nonsense like this. You had something, Don, but you got greedy. Now it's just a boring, strange stream of run-on sentences from a guy who is no longer funny that we all know is clearly lying. Chadwick Bay Chad is like that last X-files season without Scully and Mulder - it's just dumb.

What a sad, deranged man. The lies aren't even good or intelligent. It's like a dumb attention seeking sixth grader who clearly doesn't understand how property sales work.

I guess it was kind of funny at first. "Chadwick Bay Chad" is just awful.

Kind of just rambling for the sake of rambling. OK. These could probably all be consolidated.