SelmonSmith6378

You stole that from a Michael Jackson joke. WOW! Q: Breaking news is that Jerry Sandusky will be directing a combination of 2 Schwarzanegger movies. What will the movie be called? A: The Kindergarten Predator I only know 2 jokes more offensive then that. And I've heard a LOT of jokes! Yeah, I go to a school with a crapload of Jewish kids who'll want to slash you open like a catfish and eat your guts after that joke. Hell, even part of ME wants to, but then I realize it's just DC Tom being DC Tom.

Allright...That commen was pretty funny. Not that I HAVEN'T imagined Fox doing a sexy dance in a rap video. Far from it. I also imagine her doing other things... ...And yes, it involves some fetishes... That's a stupid freaking statement. Just because you don't write the script means your unfunny? Look at...Seth Rogen. He never writes ANY of his material, and while some people may strongly disagree with me, I think he's hilarious. Most of Jack Black's movies would be HORRIBLE if he wasn;t starring in them, but he does, and most of them are hilarious (YEAR ONE DID NOT HAPPEN!!!!) So Megan Fox's cameo is funny in "The Dicator", and while Upton is certainly attractive, I'd take Fox over her any day of the week.

Jonathan Vilma for a 3rd. And MAYBE a 2nd if they don;t accept the first proposal.

I disagree. I've read a couple of her interviews, and she's smarter then people realize. The only reason people hate her is becayse she's attractive and doesn;t take s*** from nobody. As for sense of humor? Watch "The DIctator" trailer, and you'll she she DOES have a sense of humor. PLUS, she's a comic book fan. Hot, smart, fiesty, and a comic book fan....My dream girl.

That's probably one of the most evil things to happen in the past 5 years, only behind the Chechnyan School Assualt.

Yeah, she's pretty good. Megan Fox is better though,

Well, Summer is coming, and all the talk is "Superheroes, superheroes, superheroes". And being BBF's biggest comic book geek, I couldn't be more happy. I'm particularly looking forward to seeing "The Avengers". And recently, there's been a lot of talk about "The Dark Knight Rises". And, just to watt your appetite while you were waiting, I give you a Batman fan film entitled "Batman: Death Wish" It's nothing special, but it's still somewhat entertaining...And Rayne Bidder does a FANTASTIC job as Harley Quinn. And the actress who plays Ivy is pretty much the only good actress to play her since Diane Pershing (Who will always be the best however)

LARPing 101 Rule No. 98#: When preparing a large scale battle, do it either on a hill, in a forest, on a mountain or in a large indoor area. This has been SelmonSmith6378, local DnD nerd, telling you how to LARP right!

Haha, he looks like that guy who could hit by the radioactive waste in Robocop!

I know I;m gonna sound like a dirty little rat for this but...If this guy is stupid enough to think you'll believe that, try scamming him back.

Claiborne is the next Champ Bailey. Im going Claiborne.

Bane is my 2nd favorite Batman villain, behind Scarecrow...Can't wait for his appearence in Dark Knight Rises! (FYI, it was originally Poison Ivy, but she joined Birds of Prey and became a hero. And Harley Quinn joined Suicide Squad and became an anti-hero)

Oh, I've heard of that one. Will probably get to reviewing it soon. FYI, my review for "The Smurfs" is up right now if you wanted to check it out and post a comment. http://forums.twobillsdrive.com/topic/145368-selmonsmith6378-spotlightsthe-smurfs/page__gopid__2453963#entry2453963

SUCH a bad movie!

Yeah, I already know it's gonna be no.

That's SELECTION. This is my first family movie review. The next one I'll review is the dreaded, the awful, the terrible..."ARE WE THERE YET?"! I know, I can hear your screams of terror right now. Anyways, I got an idea. Maybe for the bad movies I review, I sort've do a script similar to what the Nostalgia Critic does for his videos. Sound interesting?

Well, while I can understand why you (along with a lot of people) hate this movie, we have to put into consideration the vast amount of TERRIBLE family films made over the past decade. ESPECIALLY ones directed by Raja Gosnell. So considering that, I think it's bad, but not horrendous, and I wasn;t wishing death upon Gosnell's family after watching it. Yeah, I have a 12 year old bro who wanted to see this really bad. Probably for the sole purpose I DIDN'T want to see it haha!

Favorite pick of the draft!

Hello and welcome to SelmonSmith6378 Spotlights, Buffalo Bills Forums official review post/thread/thing/whatever. I'm your host, SelmonSmith6378, here to tell you what I fully expect was NOT to have been on your most anticipated movies of 2011 list. Raja Gosnell's "The Smurfs". And, since Raja Gosnell also directed such TERRIBLE movies as "Scooby Doo: Monsters Unleashed", "Beverley Hills Chihuahua" and, worst of all, "Scooby-Doo: The Movie", who can really blame you? Well I'm here to tell you "The Smurfs" is not nearly as bad as it looks...But it's still a lame, predictable family movie. "The Smurfs" tells the story of the Smurfs as they get lost in New York, and try to find a way to get back home before the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) catches them, and destroys them to use their essence to increase his magic, or something like that. Luckilly, they run into the couple of Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris) and Grace (Jayma Mays), who promise to help them. Now "The Smurfs" has got to be one of the most predictable movies I've ever seen, EVEN in terms of family movies these days. I could predict everything that would happen in this movie minutes before it actually happened. I kept waiting for "The Smurfs" to surprise me with some kind of twist or turn...But that just didn't happen. I mean, it's not even as predictable as most family movies, it's far worse. It's "Gameplan" levels of predictable, which is definitely NOT a good thing. Which brings me to the next problem of the movie...It...Is So...Bland. GOD it is bland! "The Smurfs" doesn't bring a SINGLE new thing to the table! It doesn't take any risks, it doesn't try anything different. Everything in this movie has been done before, and usually a lot better (i.e "Alvin and the Chipmunks", and yes, I admit I liked the first one) It's almost like everyone, Raja Gosnell, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Katy Perry, seems to be running on auto pilot. Face it; the creators didn't care about this movie...At all. Hell, the only ones who seem to give a damn about this movie are Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria. That's really sad, because this movie isn't all bad. I'll admit it: It's pretty funny. Yeah, that's right. "The Smurfs" is a decently funny movie. The scenes with Gargamel with them were actually really hilarious. Everything from the lines, to his voice, to the way the people around him reacted to him. There's one joke in particular involving smoke rising from a vent that I found especially hysterical. He's extremely funny in this movie, which almost makes me feel bad considering no one else was really trying. Don;t get me wrong though; although 70% of the films funny jokes are done by Gargamel, there are still a few other jokes that really seemed to work. Neil Patrick Harris did a great job in this movie. When the funny jokes aren't coming from Gargamel, their coming from Harris. The acting really isn't that bad in this movie either. I mean, at least in terms of family films. Like I said before, I thought that Neil Patrick Harris did a really good job and if this movie does one thing right, it's Hank Azaria as Gargamel. I really hope he gets more chances to star in other movies because he certainly has the potential to be a great comedian. So, summing up, while "The Smurfs" isn't horrible, and I wouldn't jump out of a window if I had a younger sibling or young relaticve who forced me to see this, it's still incredibly mediocre. Let me put it this way: Out of all the BAD live action adaptations of Hanna Barbara kids shows from the 2000's, I'd say this one was the least bad. Put in the right hands, it might even be good. Sadly, when it all comes down to it...It's still bad and not really worth a rent. Grade: C

I like women who can fight. Even if it means they're kicking my @$$. I'd do it.

There's only room here for one 15 year old on this site. Like the "Michael Irvin/Crack Pipe" thing ya did there! Clever! But let's take the long train back to reality here...The Cowboys of that era had at least, AT LEAST 3 HOFers on that squad. The closest thing the Bills have to an Emmit Smith is Fred Jackson haha! Boy, can't wait for Spiller or Freddy to break that career rushing record! Or for the Bills to win 3 Super Bowls in one decade! Samuel L. Jackson or Jack Black?

Yeah, just checked out the plot. Sounds pretty lame. THIS is (REC) Apparently, it's one of the scariest films of all time. Can't WAIT to see it! Combines two things Im most afraid of: found footage horror like BWP and zombies!

Hello and welcome to SelmonSmith6378 Spotlights, Buffalo Bills Forums official review post/thread/thing/whatever. Im your host, SelmonSmith6378, and this is my first post. Here, I'll be posting my thoughts on movies I've seen. Suggestions are welcome, but mostly I'll stick to what I know. But where to start? Well...I'll have you know I've seen a TON of movies over the past two weeks, so I'll have plenty of material. But let's start of with what was one of my most anticipated films 2 YEARS AGO that I finally saw a few days ago...Daybreakers. "Daybreakers" has one of the most interesting premises I've heard from a blockbuster. Particularly a vampire film (Man, I'll be getting tons of comments on Twilight now, won't I?) The movie takes place in 2019, where all of humanity has been stricken by a virus. (Speaking of viruses, anyone else excited about REC: Apocalypse...Oops, sorry. Thinking aloud again. Won't happen again gents.) Anyway, the virus has turned most of the population into vampires, which is B-A-D news for any remaining humans, who more then likley end up getting captured (literaly) like dogs and harvested for blood. The films protagonist is Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke), a blood scientist who has a soft spot for humanity. After saving the lives of two humans from the Vampire Military, dedicated to the capture and harvestation of all remaining humans, he is recruited by a covert group of humans led by Audrey (Claudia Karvan) and Elvis (Willem DaFoe), who are trying to invent a cure to end the vamp virus. Let me tell you, "Daybreakers" almost manages to live up to my massive expectations for it. It may not be the best blockbuster I've seen in years, but it is incredibly interesting, smart, and engaging. Which is really a rarity considering how many sci-fi garbage films will get released per year and be praised as amazing (cough, cough "Avatar", "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen/Dark of the Moon", the endless library of "Pirates of the Carribean" movies) I mean, not only is this plot really satisfying, it's really well thought out as well. A vampire virus would effect not only our diet but our economy, form of transportation and even our personality, as shown by the main antagonist of the film. Speaking of antagonists, "Daybreakers" has loads of incredibley interesting characters I would have loved to learn more about. Ranging from the conflicted Edward, a blood scientist going against everything his company stands for, to Charles (Sam Neil), Edward's cold, calculating boss who wants to keep the status quo. Hell, he even seems a bit unsure when the prospect of a blood substitute is brought up. Yeah, when you watch this, there will definitley be at least one character you really like. The film manages to get suiperb performances out of it's actors, which is no surprise when you got Hamlet, Dr Grant and the Green Goblin in a cast together. The actors almost become their characters here, especially Ethan Hawke, doing a great performance as the conflicted Edward. I'll admit, I had my doubts when Sam Neil was chosen to play the films antagonist. Lord knows, he was just so likeable as "Jurassic Park's" Alan Grant. However, he delivers in a very creepy and very cold performance. I loved it. Of course, to the action dogs scoffing on my comments on "Transformers 2" and "Avatar", be aware this film has plenty of great fight scenes. I'll admit some of them seemed a Bbit unnecessary, but when it comes down to it, I had so much fun during these scenes it didn't really matter. And not only does this film has violence and action sequences, it has gore. Loads of gore. You're not going to see sparkly vamp wannabes neatly place their fangs into someones neck. You're gonna see vampires, literally, ripping and eating the flesh of human beings, heads being exploded. Nasty stuff, I mean, I could barely watch. So, to conclude, "Daybreakers" is a great, intelligent, and sometimes emotional blockbuster that will be sure to satisfy the hunger of vamp fans dreadfully sick of the Twilight franchise. It may not be a masterpiece,m but it's a darn good piece of entertainment. It's worth a rent, and if you're a hardcore vampire fan, a buy. Grade: B+

Ummm...Offensive much...

Our whole High School saw "The 3 Stooges" yesterday...Almost everyone hated it, but I thought it was good. It wasn;t amazing, but it wasn't horrible either. Over half of the jokes worked and there were 3 or 4 that were really hilarious. Only problem was that too many of the jokes seemed old and unoriginal. So...If I were you, wait for it on DVD. Still a nice movie though Grade: B