The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 So, I'm sitting at the bar (the Giggling Gator in St Augustine, if you must know) when a VERY drunk dude stumbles in the front door. He wobbles to the bar and slurs out his order "Gimme a beer", he says. The Bartender just laughs at the dude and says, "I'm sorry, you've had a little to much. You can come by tomorrow, but I can't serve you tonight." There was a little back-and-forth...but the guy was HAMMERED and eventually, he left. A few minutes later the other door of this bar, the side door, opens...and in stumbles this same drunk. He looks up at the bartender and proclaims: "Jesus Christ. Do you work at EVERY BAR?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 So, I'm sitting at the bar (the Giggling Gator in St Augustine, if you must know) when a VERY drunk dude stumbles in the front door. He wobbles to the bar and slurs out his order "Gimme a beer", he says. The Bartender just laughs at the dude and says, "I'm sorry, you've had a little to much. You can come by tomorrow, but I can't serve you tonight." There was a little back-and-forth...but the guy was HAMMERED and eventually, he left. A few minutes later the other door of this bar, the side door, opens...and in stumbles this same drunk. He looks up at the bartender and proclaims: "Jesus Christ. Do you work at EVERY BAR?" Tough night drinking huh ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilly Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 So, I'm sitting at the bar (the Giggling Gator in St Augustine, if you must know) when a VERY drunk dude stumbles in the front door. He wobbles to the bar and slurs out his order "Gimme a beer", he says. The Bartender just laughs at the dude and says, "I'm sorry, you've had a little to much. You can come by tomorrow, but I can't serve you tonight." There was a little back-and-forth...but the guy was HAMMERED and eventually, he left. A few minutes later the other door of this bar, the side door, opens...and in stumbles this same drunk. He looks up at the bartender and proclaims: "Jesus Christ. Do you work at EVERY BAR?" What the !@#$, you can still type without any errors. What the hell kind of drinking night is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cåblelady Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 What the !@#$, you can still type without any errors. What the hell kind of drinking night is that? He has a lighted keyboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Amazingly enough, this exact same story was mosted in last month's Maxim magazine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 He has a lighted keyboard. And a lighted nose...just like Rudolph! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 Amazingly enough, this exact same story was mosted in last month's Maxim magazine. mosted? I am unfamiliar with that term. It seems as though you may be questioning my verisimility...er...verisimilitude...er...You callin' me a liar, motherfuc#er? (Perhaps this drunk is a reader of the trashy "Maxim" and has an ironic sense of humor) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 mosted? I am unfamiliar with that term. It seems as though you may be questioning my verisimility...er...verisimilitude...er...You callin' me a liar, motherfuc#er? (Perhaps this drunk is a reader of the trashy "Maxim" and has an ironic sense of humor) I am also, I saw this joke also in Maxim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 I am also, I saw this joke also in Maxim. You and the drunk share the same questionable taste in reading material, I guess. BTW, in an attempt to hijack the thread I started, why would anyone read Maxim or FHM (or other mags of that ilk?) Good looking babes in "near nude" attire? Playboy has good looking babes in "near nude" attire and also buck naked. The articles written at a 6th or 7th grade reading level? There are many mags targeted to men with far better articles (at least judging by what little I've seen of Maxim). I just can't understand the appeal of these types of "men's magazines" for adult males. Jack, 'splain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 The real horror is The Dean caught red handed plagiarizing material......and from Maxim no less!! Is there no bottom to the barrel?? Where shall we turn for hope now??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 The real horror is The Dean caught red handed plagiarizing material......and from Maxim no less!! Is there no bottom to the barrel?? Where shall we turn for hope now??? You can't prove anything. I'm innocent...innocent, I tells ya... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 You can't prove anything. I'm innocent...innocent, I tells ya... What's next? You're going to tell us you were drunk and she didn't mean anything to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 mosted? I am unfamiliar with that term. Woah, maybe *I* was drunk when I typed that too. As for why read Maxim? They send it to me for free so why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 Woah, maybe *I* was drunk when I typed that too. As for why read Maxim? They send it to me for free so why not? Who are "they" and how did they find you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Pirate looks at 37 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 You can't prove anything. I'm innocent...innocent, I tells ya... Uh huh... and is Giada by chance cooking in your kitchen again this Saturday AM? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 Uh huh... and is Giada by chance cooking in your kitchen again this Saturday AM? I gave her the day off and decided to serve her in bed...if you get my drift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I gave her the day off and decided to serve her in bed...if you get my drift. Your favorite pasta with sauce, sausage and meatballs with a side of tossed salad perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 BTW, in an attempt to hijack the thread I started, why would anyone read Maxim or FHM (or other mags of that ilk?) Jack, 'splain! As for why read Maxim? They send it to me for free so why not? What Fez said, I get it for free, I think my sub runs through 2009 or 2010. I also get Stuff, and as you may have heard, FHM until they shut down last month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimBob2232 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/index.aspx?joke_id=1371 A drunk stumbles into a bar and orders a drink. “I am sorry, sir, but it is not our policy to serve drunks here. You will have to go elsewhere,” replies the bartender. “Ah screw you! Who needs your drinks anyway?” says the drunk as he leaves. The drunk comes back in the side door of the bar and orders another drink. Much to the surprise of the drunk, the bartender refuses the man again. “What the hell is the world coming to when a man can’t get a damn drink?” remarks the drunk as he stumbles away a second time. Again, the drunk comes in the back door and once again sits at the bar and orders a drink, visibly upset by now. The bartender the tells the man, “Listen buddy, this is the last time I am going to tell you, I am not going to get you a drink. Now beat it.” The drunk looks quite confused and then roars, “How many damn bars do you work at?” Chris Thigpen Stone Mountain, GA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/index.aspx?joke_id=1371A drunk stumbles into a bar and orders a drink. “I am sorry, sir, but it is not our policy to serve drunks here. You will have to go elsewhere,” replies the bartender. “Ah screw you! Who needs your drinks anyway?” says the drunk as he leaves. The drunk comes back in the side door of the bar and orders another drink. Much to the surprise of the drunk, the bartender refuses the man again. “What the hell is the world coming to when a man can’t get a damn drink?” remarks the drunk as he stumbles away a second time. Again, the drunk comes in the back door and once again sits at the bar and orders a drink, visibly upset by now. The bartender the tells the man, “Listen buddy, this is the last time I am going to tell you, I am not going to get you a drink. Now beat it.” The drunk looks quite confused and then roars, “How many damn bars do you work at?” Chris Thigpen Stone Mountain, GA Well, it looks as though The Dean was set up (as were the other patrons). (Or, perhaps, the drunk was a clever Maxim reader.) I will confront the bartender the next time I see him and DEMAND to know the truth. For what it's worth, they did a real nice job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Well, it looks as though The Dean was set up (as were the other patrons). (Or, perhaps, the drunk was a clever Maxim reader.) I will confront the bartender the next time I see him and DEMAND to know the truth. For what it's worth, they did a real nice job. Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him. Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him? Maverick: Because I was inverted. Iceman: cough...bull sh--....cough Goose: No he was man, it was a really great move. He was inverted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him. Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him? Maverick: Because I was inverted. Iceman: cough...bull sh--....cough Goose: No he was man, it was a really great move. He was inverted. Finally someone who understands, I was inverted. That's what you're saying, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 The real horror is The Dean caught red handed plagiarizing material......and from Maxim no less!! Is there no bottom to the barrel?? Where shall we turn for hope now??? He didn't steal it. He merely infringed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 He didn't steal it. He merely infringed. I was DUPED. I'm innocent, I tells ya. A pawn in a much bigger plot...and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Guy Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I am very disappointed in the Dean...trying to take advantage of the Ignorami, then getting caught by them...that's just friggin' sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Guy Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I was DUPED. I'm innocent, I tells ya. A pawn in a much bigger plot...and all that. pitiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Finally someone who understands, I was inverted. That's what you're saying, right? I would like you to remain silent and as your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown flask in my shaving kit. * *this was stolen from me by some hack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 I am very disappointed in the Dean...trying to take advantage of the Ignorami, then getting caught by them...that's just friggin' sad. I need a good forum attorney. I know it looks bad for The Dean now...but, wait till we get our hands on the bar's surveillance tapes. That'll show you ALL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I am very disappointed in the Dean...trying to take advantage of the Ignorami, then getting caught by them...that's just friggin' sad. we're talking about the same Dean, are we not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 I would like you to remain silent andas your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown flask in my shaving kit. * *this was stolen from me by some hack. You are hired. Hit has been taken Proceed with my defense, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Guy Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I need a good forum attorney. I know it looks bad for The Dean now...but, wait till we get our hands on the bar's surveillance tapes. That'll show you ALL. yeah yeah....next you'll be tell us this true story about your "personal friend" with the broken penis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 You are hired. Hit has been taken Proceed with my defense, please. Not only is the Dean the sole proprietor and author of the aforesaid "joke," the prosecution has failed to show that this did not in fact happen at some St. Augustine gin joint and none of you are aware of the dramatic recreation of the original author - The Deaner - and was neither an infringement or a copyright violation of his original work and - cough - it's kind of hot in here isn't it? - maybe too much vodka - !@#$ where did the bats come from - somebody get rid of these goddamn bats and these !@#$ing ants crawling all over the carpet up my leg - somebody !@#$ing hit them - did I just kill someone? is my mind melting? Why is everyone speaking !@#$ing German? ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 Not only is the Dean the sole proprietor and author of the aforesaid "joke,"the prosecution has failed to show that this did not in fact happen at some St. Augustine gin joint and none of you are aware of the dramatic recreation of the original author - The Deaner - and was neither an infringement or a copyright violation of his original work and - cough - it's kind of hot in here isn't it? - maybe too much vodka - !@#$ where did the bats come from - somebody get rid of these goddamn bats and these !@#$ing ants crawling all over the carpet up my leg - somebody !@#$ing hit them - did I just kill someone? is my mind melting? Why is everyone speaking !@#$ing German? ... My kind of lawyer. Very "brown buffalo"-esque. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 My kind of lawyer. Very "brown buffalo"-esque. I've come down now. Is the jury in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 I've come down now. Is the jury in? I assume you "took care" of the jury...right? I got the judge right here with a hooker an eightball and a magnum or Dom. He seems pretty cool with it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I assume you "took care" of the jury...right? I got the judge right here with a hooker an eightball and a magnum or Dom. He seems pretty cool with it all. Nice. They'll be no monetary damage, but they are going to find you guilty of solicitation, but the judge is going to throw that out. This is civil court. Oh, and they're all coming to your pool tonight for Daiquiris followed by a game of full card Bingo. I had to be a little creative buying off these Florida juries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 Nice. They'll be no monetary damage, but they are going to find you guilty of solicitation, but the judge is going to throw that out. This is civil court. Oh, and they're all coming to your pool tonight for Daiquiris followed by a game of full card Bingo. I had to be a little creative buying off these Florida juries. Fuc#ing HICKS in my pool? Allright...if that's the price i have to pay. I can sleepwalk my way through the bingo. Let's just hope this case is closed. Good work, X-man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Good work, X-man! I'm here if you need me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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