RayFinkle Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Bills jersey helmet and is holding Bills pom poms. The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Bills receiving a kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 30, and kick the field goal. With that, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five. The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" "I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for six years." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2020 Our Year For Sure Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Heard this one a few years ago, only it was the Jets instead of the Bills. Its a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hootie1 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 How about this one- Buffalo, NY (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Buffalo courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After conferring with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Buffalo Bills, whom the boy firmly believed were not capable of beating anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bills_fan Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Two boys from Buffalo, NY are playing street hockey when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid pitbull. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A buffalo newspaper reporter hears about the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Sabres Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal", he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Buffalo Sabres fan", the young hero replies. "Sorry", replied the reporter, "since we're in Buffalo and you were playing hockey, I just assumed you were". "Bills Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack", the reporter continues in his notebook. "But I'm not a Buffalo Bills fan either", the boy responds. "I just thought everyone in Buffalo was either a Sabres or a Bills fan", replied the reporter. "Whom do you root for? "I'm a Toronto Maple Leaf fan", the boy answers proudly. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes . . . "Little Canadian Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Two boys from Buffalo, NY are playing street hockey when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid pitbull. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A buffalo newspaper reporter hears about the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Sabres Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal", he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Buffalo Sabres fan", the young hero replies. "Sorry", replied the reporter, "since we're in Buffalo and you were playing hockey, I just assumed you were". "Bills Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack", the reporter continues in his notebook. "But I'm not a Buffalo Bills fan either", the boy responds. "I just thought everyone in Buffalo was either a Sabres or a Bills fan", replied the reporter. "Whom do you root for? "I'm a Toronto Maple Leaf fan", the boy answers proudly. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes . . . "Little Canadian Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet" 831186[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizmo6824 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 how bout...whats the differnce between the Bills and Cheerios? Cheerios belong in a bowl. and that the bills were changing thier zip code to 0 4 4..... and that j.p losman tried to commit suicide.... but dont worry they intercepted the bullet....ya i've heard alot of them as of late, just wait till we turn things around... A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Bills jersey helmet and is holding Bills pom poms. The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Bills receiving a kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 30, and kick the field goal. With that, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five. The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" "I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for six years." 831090[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draconator Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Little known story about the O.J. Simpson trial, that was not entered into evidence. A piece of evidence was found, that would have not only made the case against O.J. null and void, it would have cleared any Buffalo Bill of any wrong doing. They found a SuperBowl Ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVUFootball29 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Two boys from Buffalo, NY are playing street hockey when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid pitbull. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A buffalo newspaper reporter hears about the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Sabres Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal", he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Buffalo Sabres fan", the young hero replies. "Sorry", replied the reporter, "since we're in Buffalo and you were playing hockey, I just assumed you were". "Bills Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack", the reporter continues in his notebook. "But I'm not a Buffalo Bills fan either", the boy responds. "I just thought everyone in Buffalo was either a Sabres or a Bills fan", replied the reporter. "Whom do you root for? "I'm a Toronto Maple Leaf fan", the boy answers proudly. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes . . . "Little Canadian Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet" 831186[/snapback] thats great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webster Guy Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 How many Buffalo Bills does it take to change a tire? Just one- unless it's a blowout, then the whole team shows up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzer32 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 How many Buffalo Bills does it take to change a light bulb on gameday? Only one, but unfortunately none of them show up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Unfortunatley the Mayor of Buffalo has died Like every other politician, having made his deal with the Devil, he went straight to Hell. When he arrived in Hell, Satan immediately recognized him and remembered the deal they had made. "So how do you like Hell?" asked the Prince of Darkness "Its kinda toasty down here" replied the mayor "Toasty?" thought Lucifer. "Well, we'll have to crank up the heat and make him suffer!" So Belzebub orders his minions to crank up the heat. Later Satan runs into the mayor again. "So how do you like Hell?" asked the Prince of Darkness "Almost hot enough to light Lake Erie on fire. Which I let a couple companies do for a nominal fee" replied the mayor Disturbed that he has not inflicted sufficient torture on the mayor, Satan decides that if the mayor of Buffalo likes it hot, then he'll turn down the heat So Belzebub orders his minions to turn off the heat. Later Satan runs into the mayor again. "So how do you like Hell" asked the Prince of Darkness "Reminds me of a Lake Effect snow storm!" replied the mayor OK, so now Satan is pissed. He orders his minions to shut off the heat entirely. After a couple hours he goes looking for the Mayor. On his way he demons throwing snowballs and minions maknig snow angels Eventually he finds the mayor making a snowman and cheering... "The Bills won the Super Bowl!!!" "The Bills won the Super Bowl!!!" "The Bills won the Super Bowl!!!" "The Bills won the Super Bowl!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffan00 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 How do you stop Thurman Thomas from getting into his own house?? Put an endZone in front of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Senator Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Wow! We're really trotting out the oldies, so here goes... Hey, did ya here Ronnie Harmon got married? There was no reception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon Y. Mous Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Bills jersey helmet and is holding Bills pom poms. The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Bills receiving a kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 30, and kick the field goal. With that, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five. The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" "I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for six years." 831090[/snapback] That was pretty good... do you have any knock knock jokes too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cantankerous Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Knock, Knock... Who is it? Willis... Willis who? Willis d*ck fit in ya mouth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Knock, Knock... Who is it? Willis... Willis who? Willis d*ck fit in ya mouth! 832508[/snapback] The only people retarded enough to find that funny are Willis's baby mommas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 The only people retarded enough to find that funny are Willis's baby mommas 832577[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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