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OT: The Real..... DAD!!!!


The_Real

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My first child just turned one on Sunday, and I could write a book on what I learned in that timeframe. Since I don't have a publisher or agent or time, I will tell you what I learned the hard way, the easy way or any way.

 

- Babies are so smart from the moment they are born, it is amazing. Being an older dad (I'm 43) most of my friends have teenagers at this point. The guys all said the same things: nothing really exciting happens until your baby is 6 months old. That's a bunch of crap. You baby will do amazing things from day one. You just need to pay attention.

 

- Babies react well to schedules. Many people will tell you that "feed on demand" is the way to go, and it's a bunch of crap. Feed your child at the same times every day, and night, and put them down for naps and their bedtime the same time every day. They will cry at first, but just stay with it and you will be amazed how quickly they adapt, and consequently are NEVER crying for food or because they're tired. There is a book called "My First 300 Babies," that was an extreme to us, but lays a good foundation for setting up a schedule.

 

- Crying is good for a baby. It not only exercises their lungs, but makes them tired and they sleep better. And they rarely ever cry for more than 20-30 minutes at a time, unless they're colicky.

 

- Breastfeeding is recommended now for up to the first 12 months, and it is increasingly proven to be one of the most crucial parts of a baby's early development and immune system. Many babies won't breastfeed for 12 months, but the longer your wife can breastfeed, the better.

 

- Buy about three dozen cloth diapers, keep them everywhere, and use them as urp rags.

 

- When you change your babie's diaper, throw one of the cloth diapers over the naked naughty parts. The cold is what makes a kid pee on the spot, and putting the cloth either eliminates the mess, or at least keeps the fountain at bay.

 

- Just when you start to think "Hey, this poop doesn't smell so bad," it proves you wrong.

 

- Spend the money on THIS SWING. It goes side to side or front to back and soothes your fussy baby like nothing I've ever seen. Wifey and I called it the crackmobile. BEST money we ever spent.

 

- Keep children and other babies away from your newborn for 12 weeks, which is how long it takes for their immune system to start up. Don't kid around with that schitt.

 

- Great ready to experience a different kind of heartbreak unlike anything you've ever experienced. And prepare to finally learn what love is truly all about. On a couple of occasions I would be putting my son down at night, rocking him, singing to him, and he'd look up, smile, lay his head on my shoulder and start to fall asleep, and I would sit there and hold him and cry for reasons I still don't understand.

 

I love being a Dad. I hope you do, too.

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My first child just turned one on Sunday, and I could write a book on what I learned in that timeframe. Since I don't have a publisher or agent or time, I will tell you what I learned the hard way, the easy way or any way.

 

- Babies are so smart from the moment they are born, it is amazing. Being an older dad (I'm 43) most of my friends have teenagers at this point. The guys all said the same things: nothing really exciting happens until your baby is 6 months old. That's a bunch of crap. You baby will do amazing things from day one. You just need to pay attention.

 

- Babies react well to schedules. Many people will tell you that "feed on demand" is the way to go, and it's a bunch of crap. Feed your child at the same times every day, and night, and put them down for naps and their bedtime the same time every day. They will cry at first, but just stay with it and you will be amazed how quickly they adapt, and consequently are NEVER crying for food or because they're tired. There is a book called "My First 300 Babies," that was an extreme to us, but lays a good foundation for setting up a schedule.

 

- Crying is good for a baby. It not only exercises their lungs, but makes them tired and they sleep better. And they rarely ever cry for more than 20-30 minutes at a time, unless they're colicky.

 

- Breastfeeding is recommended now for up to the first 12 months, and it is increasingly proven to be one of the most crucial parts of a baby's early development and immune system. Many babies won't breastfeed for 12 months, but the longer your wife can breastfeed, the better.

 

- Buy about three dozen cloth diapers, keep them everywhere, and use them as urp rags.

 

- When you change your babie's diaper, throw one of the cloth diapers over the naked naughty parts. The cold is what makes a kid pee on the spot, and putting the cloth either eliminates the mess, or at least keeps the fountain at bay.

 

- Just when you start to think "Hey, this poop doesn't smell so bad," it proves you wrong.

 

- Spend the money on THIS SWING. It goes side to side or front to back and soothes your fussy baby like nothing I've ever seen. Wifey and I called it the crackmobile. BEST money we ever spent.

 

- Keep children and other babies away from your newborn for 12 weeks, which is how long it takes for their immune system to start up. Don't kid around with that schitt.

 

- Great ready to experience a different kind of heartbreak unlike anything you've ever experienced. And prepare to finally learn what love is truly all about. On a couple of occasions I would be putting my son down at night, rocking him, singing to him, and he'd look up, smile, lay his head on my shoulder and start to fall asleep, and I would sit there and hold him and cry for reasons I still don't understand.

 

I love being a Dad. I hope you do, too.

515834[/snapback]

 

You certainly are one eloquent MoFo. After reading your post I almost want to have a baby (ALMOST!). Too bad you don't know squat about football...you could be a real asset here. :rolleyes:

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I have a 13 year old horse errrr....I mean son and a lovely 10 year old daughter........

 

I have not read a single book on parenting......come from a home that was shattered when my mother left my dad when I was 13.....forever splitting up me and my sister......sending my spiraling through a series of traumatic events as a child before getting together and playing a little high school football......a little college......and going off for 10 years of military

 

Somehow someway.....my kids turned out pretty darn good.

 

My words of advice......

 

- Show her love.....show her a lot of love.....but also dont shelter them from the rat race that is the world we live in. Do not waver on punishment when she gets older......always let her know that she can come and talk to you at any time.....be active in her life when younger......take her to the playground or out for ice cream for absolutely no reason at all.

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Beautiful name, T-Real.

 

Are you a Dad yet...or soon to be?  And who's the babe in your avatar?

515744[/snapback]

 

 

Not one yet and that's the most beautiful girl in the world. Have you seen the 5th element. Resident evil?

 

 

t-r

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Nice. When is your and Mom's wedding date?

515796[/snapback]

 

 

I'm not going to marry her. Maybe not ever. We just aren't the best of friends and that's what I need out of my forever partner. If I felt she was that I would of married her months ago. That's a big reason I got off the drugs and alcohol.

 

I thought it was what was killing our friendship/relationship. Go figure, it's just because she bitches so damn much! If I can work things out with her and be the father I hope to be then I will. If I can't I'll just be the most supportive father I can be.

 

 

t-r

 

I know, I'm a loser. :rolleyes:

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I'm not going to marry her.  Maybe not ever.  We just aren't the best of friends and that's what I need out of my forever partner.  If I felt she was that I would of married her months ago.  That's a big reason I got off the drugs and alcohol. 

 

I thought it was what was killing our friendship/relationship.  Go figure, it's just because she bitches so damn much!  If I can work things out with her and be the father I hope to be then I will.  If I can't I'll just be the most supportive father I can be. 

t-r

 

I know, I'm a loser.  :rolleyes:

515906[/snapback]

 

You are far from a loser. You have cleaned up, are making an effort to, at the least , have an amicable relationship with the child's mother, and you have a positive outlook on being a dad. That doesn't make you a loser and don't let anyone tell you any different!

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You are far from a loser.  You have cleaned up, are making an effort to, at the least , have an amicable relationship with the child's mother,  and you have a positive outlook on being a dad.  That doesn't make you a loser and don't let anyone tell you any different!

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Thanks I really do appreciate that. :doh:

 

 

Only problem with that is:

 

a) Conventional wisdom of family says Ma & Pa with the kids. That I won't ever be and it makes me feel like I'm starting off on the wrong foot.

 

b) I fear I'll be single for the rest of my life. Who in the hell wants a guy with a kid? Even if he is SEXY as a mutha focker.

 

:doh:

 

 

t-r

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Congrats T-Real! Fatherhood is awesome. My son was born on 12/31/04. I can't believe he is almost one, time truly does go way too fast. Get some of the Baby Einstein videos. These videos can put a hysterical baby into a trance and give you a half hour worth of sanity when you desperately need it. Get the swing that LA recommended, we had a cheaper swing and my son hated it but he loved the one that LA linked to.

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Beautiful name!

 

I have a 7 year old daughter (and two boys 4 and 12, the big guy has special needs). Some of the simplest advice seems the most real: "Always tell your daughter you're glad she's your daughter." Sometimes men don't say how they really feel, and saying this to her can go a long way to show her she's loved.

 

Also, be kind to yourself - (i.e. stay away from the weed); it'll teach her to respect herself, you'll be healthy to see her 1st child, the list goes on...)

 

Just my .02...

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Thanks Guys!!!

 

I have been stressing about life alot lately and not been posting much. I'll see if I can't remedy that in the upcoming months. Cable lady you can be auntie. My mom is more excited than any two people you or I know.

 

Her first grandchild and she's so excited.

 

 

t-r

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b)  I fear I'll be single for the rest of my life.  Who in the hell wants a guy with a kid?  Even if he is SEXY as a mutha focker. 

Exactly! If the "SEXY mutha fockers" can't get the girls, how do YOU expect to??? :doh:

CW

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Ok, as a father of two.

 

Kaia, people will think she's an import car from Korea. She will get tired of spelling her name, and believe it or not names, as well as appearances cause first impressions she may not want. Dont go mundane, but think of her down the road.

Also, how does it flow with the last name?

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This summer when I gave up the Herb, cigerettes and drinking... I was having a little girl.  I was and still am very nervous which is why I didn't come out and say anything then.  I'm hoping to get some kind words from some of the posters here with their own little ones.  I've already read 11 books on proper parenting but would love suggestions. 

 

and...

 

Does anyone like the name Kaia? 

Kaia Lee.  That's her name. 

t-r

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Congratulations...

having a little girl is the best thing ever...no matter what parents of boys say.

 

Girls idolize their dads.

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And they rarely ever cry for more than 20-30 minutes at a time, unless they're colicky.

515834[/snapback]

 

 

Pray to god your little one isn't colicky. Mine was. It was precisely 13 months before she slept through the night.

 

But now it's all good, she's as healthy as a horse!

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