aussiew Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Sorry guys. As a woman and a cat owner - I've gotta' get a little revenge occasionally Why Do Men Wee - - Standing Up? God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to wee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it." Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to wee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started weeing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump three metres away - laughing with delight all the while. God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Adam was so excited he just started weeing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump three metres away - laughing with delight all the while. 356890[/snapback] He shoulda asked God for some snow. It is much more fun writing your name in the snow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 He shoulda asked God for some snow. It is much more fun writing your name in the snow. 356911[/snapback] Really nothing quite in life as enjoyable as having a sword fight with your 4 year old son. Keep the brains, I'll take that little bit of pure enjoyment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin in Va Beach Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 **EDIT** God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God. "However they cease to function whenever you are in a shopping mall." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeH Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God. 356890[/snapback] I guess Eve wasn't a Blonde. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 **EDIT** God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God. "However they cease to function whenever you are talking about your appearance, money or in-laws." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 I guess Eve wasn't a Blonde I'm thinking she might have been...she convinced Adam to eat the apple... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfmeister Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 **EDIT**God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God. "However they cease to function whenever you are in a shopping mall." 357213[/snapback] EDIT: "Brains", said God. "However they cease to function whenever you are in a breathing involuntarily." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart 357230[/snapback] I think you are mistaken. The 'whipped' thread is down the page a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin in Va Beach Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart 357230[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart 357230[/snapback] Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much info here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 EDIT: "Brains", said God. "However they cease to function whenever you are in a breathing involuntarily." 357232[/snapback] You may be losing your touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRH Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. 357230[/snapback] Hey, whatever works for you. I couldn't do that. The water's too cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JinVA Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much info here. 357244[/snapback] ....and then some! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCBillsFan Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart 357230[/snapback] Was this reply necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCBillsFan Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart 357230[/snapback] Was this reply necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfmeister Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 I dare you to answer this with The Truth Mr USMC >>> When you sit down to crap and you have to urinate at the same time, do you crap and then stand up turn around and pee? Or do you do #1 and #2 all during the time you are sitting down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCBillsFan Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 I dare you to answer this with The Truth Mr USMC >>> When you sit down to crap and you have to urinate at the same time, do you crap and then stand up turn around and pee? Or do you do #1 and #2 all during the time you are sitting down? 357341[/snapback] Somehow I think that you are the only one on this board that cares about something like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 When men go #2 they wee sitting down at the same time. There is no shame in that. Sometimes when men wee standing up the stream splits at the point of departure and (if you are tall like I am) only one of the two streams will go in the bowl. The other stream is going to go on the floor. This is a fact that many men will deny but the stains on the bathroom floor will prove to be true. Before I married my wife I changed to either sitting down to wee OR I get on my knees in front of the bowl and pee that way. Eiher way it all goes in the bowl every time and not on the floor. My wife appreciates this behavior and I don't see the point in peeing on the floor of the bathroom in my own house. As for you being a cat owner ... bless your heart 357230[/snapback] rather disturbing response...but the stream split does suck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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