SouthernMan Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 I dont mind the criticism, i dont think it is justified but everyone has their own opinion. I have learned a lot about the corruption of this system since those days (this began 10 years ago) and i have found that one of the reason so many states are so gung ho in chasing down and in some cases even tearing down people's lives is the subsidies they get for every dollar collected from the federal government. In my case - to answer a couple of questions NO, i am not one who blames folks regularly for my problems NO, neither of my sons were planned and yes i am unfortunate enough to have had two girlfriends who were on the pill get pregnant. NO, i do not currently live with either of my sons or their mothers. I am married now for almost three years to my wife, who is not the mother of my children. I live in another state, but am very much involved in both my sons lives, they spend summers and holidays with me - i come home to Buffalo very often for their birthdays and all christmas festivities and more - usually about ever 6 weeks or so. In fact when they get to high school age they will move in with me and visit their mothers in the summer. They are very close to one another and their mothers get along so it isnt one of those things where they are not well taken care of or treated badly - none of us have any problems with one another in this big ol crazy family. Some of you evidently misunderstood my post. I did not ever have a problem taking care of either of my sons, in fact before i got married and moved away 3 years ago, they would stay with me 3 to 4 nights per week and not just weekends either. We were and are still VERY close. I only had a problem with the way the system seemed designed to ruin people. Treat everyone like deadbeats. I was a young person trying to make it in life and they are threatening my credit for no reason other than their own ineptitude. I can say not ONE cent of my children was paid by society at large (i know it was long but if you read the whole post you would see that i paid all my bills relating to my son's birthing and all my other child support obligations) my only issue was i couldnt understand why they didnt hold both myself and my ex responsible for the Dr. bill and why they couldnt e simply sign me up and not set me up with these UNECESSARY past due fees and threaten my credit - thereby possibly preventing me from getting better jobs, making more money and being able to take proper care of myself and my family. They were not successful in doing much more than being a major annoyance as both of my sons mothers are RN's, i am a Director of Technology for a software company and both my sons are honor students in Buffalo. I just think the system is VERY corrupt and actually was curious if anyone else has had dealings with them and feel the same way or feel differently... 330234[/snapback] I commend you for acting responsible and being as good a father as you could, considering the circumstances. I still have a problem with women getting pregnant and then getting public assistance as if it's their birth right. I think public assistance should be utilized by families where something catastophic created upheaval and financial stress, and should only be a temporary measure until they adapt and create a better situation. My gripe is mostly with single mothers, whose pregancy was often NOT an accident. It's all part of some convoluted strategy to give them security. They got problems at home and figure they can wrangle some unsuspecting guy into making them into a family, and if that doesn't pan out, the government provides a safety net of free housing and food. What a crock!!! From the sound of your first post, I had the impression you was just some tomcat getting chicks knocked up and then getting pissed at the governement for wanting you to be accountable. Sounds more like you had a case of getting involved with a couple of fertile Myrtles while your boys churned out some Mark Spitz level swimmers. What luck. Can't say it couldn't have happend to me. Good luck with your boys. All four of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoachChuckDickerson Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Though that so many people are more concerned with his penile responsibility than the bloated inefficiency and stupidity of Erie County is pretty funny. And explains to some degree how Erie County got itself into the mess its in... 330385[/snapback] So Erie County got itself into trouble due to the fact that the people that live there are overly conderned with penile responcibility? BRILLIANT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoachChuckDickerson Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 My gripe is mostly with single mothers, whose pregancy was often NOT an accident. It's all part of some convoluted strategy to give them security. They got problems at home and figure they can wrangle some unsuspecting guy into making them into a family, and if that doesn't pan out, the government provides a safety net of free housing and food. What a crock!!! You must be a real chamer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkady Renko Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Uh, ever heard of condoms? I can't disagree with the overall premise of your post that the government will royally screw you if you end up somehow involved with them. Hence the reason each person should limit their personal exposure as much as possible. 330361[/snapback] I am pretty certain that the pill has a higher success rate than a condom when both are used correctly. Actually getting pregnant when the pill is taken correctly is so rare, that I have to think that either the girl forgot to use it correctly, didn't know how to use it correctly or wanted to get pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 If you notice your pharmacist quoting Scripture, go to another store. They might be slipping sugar pills in place of the real pills because they want to save your soul. 330437[/snapback] Far more likely that the wives were just ready for children and decided it was easier to 'forget' the pill instead of trying to discuss it with their husbands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 I am pretty certain that the pill has a higher success rate than a condom when both are used correctly. Actually getting pregnant when the pill is taken correctly is so rare, that I have to think that either the girl forgot to use it correctly, didn't know how to use it correctly or wanted to get pregnant. 330451[/snapback] Ah, but when used in conjunction - which was MY point... Fool me once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopsGuy Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Ah, but when used in conjunction - which was MY point... Fool me once. 330466[/snapback] Channeling the Religious Right - "Yeah, but what about abstinence?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Actually getting pregnant when the pill is taken correctly is so rare, that I have to think that either the girl forgot to use it correctly, didn't know how to use it correctly or wanted to get pregnant. My twin daughters are "pill" babies. Apparently that brand wasn't strong enough to prevent ovulation. I also have a "condom" son, a "condom" daughter and a "rythym method" son. Stevestojan happens. I commend you for only using government assistance when it was absolutely neccessary and worked so hard to improve your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BF in Indiana Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Channeling the Religious Right - "Yeah, but what about abstinence?" 330487[/snapback] Exactly... that's why I am saving myself for marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFaninNC Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 I'm sure that was his point, but a big reason for why the system is screwed up is because it is overloaded with irresponsible people who can't seem to manage their own lives. Anyone who has created multiple illegitimate children by the time they are in their mid 20s is part of the reason that the system sucks and IMO doesn’t have much right to B word about it. He's complaining about a bureaucratic system that is shutting off his account for missing some $5 payments. Well big surprise, that process (either human or computer) isn't designed to care if the payment is $5 or $5000, which is probably because the applicable law isn't written with any materiality threshold. Government bureaucracy sucks, but I’m sure not going to have a lot of sympathy for someone who 1) put himself in the situation he is in by being irresponsible and 2) is apparently suggesting this his situation would be made easier if there were even more taxpayer funded resources in the system. 330419[/snapback] DING DING - we have a winner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevbeau Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Far more likely that the wives were just ready for children and decided it was easier to 'forget' the pill instead of trying to discuss it with their husbands. 330460[/snapback] That's what I figured, but one is a corporate ladder climber and the other a plastic surgeon who jst opened up her own practice.Hardly the ideal time to have kids. But hey, what do I know. If I understood women, I wouldn't be eeking out my Friday workday schlepping on a NFL message board. No offense guys & gals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastaJoe Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 My twin daughters are "pill" babies. Apparently that brand wasn't strong enough to prevent ovulation. I also have a "condom" son, a "condom" daughter and a "rythym method" son. 330493[/snapback] You should become a fertility consultant. Whoever sits next to you at Bills games better be careful, they might get you pregnant through osmosis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkady Renko Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 My twin daughters are "pill" babies. Apparently that brand wasn't strong enough to prevent ovulation. I also have a "condom" son, a "condom" daughter and a "rythym method" son. Stevestojan happens. 330493[/snapback] Hmm.... you are pretty fertile. I'll remember to check back with you if my woman fails to produce a male heir as required. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin in Va Beach Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Hmm.... you are pretty fertile. I'll remember to check back with you if my woman fails to produce a male heir as required. 330562[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 they might get you pregnant through osmosis. Hey, at my age - I'd be flattered by those kinds of thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyLee Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Yes ECSCU is a clusterf--k. My husband has had to retain a lawyer not once but twice in the last 5 years to fix their their screwups. The first time they mistakenly came to the conclusion that he was in arrears and doubled up his support payments so that they were taking $540 a week out of his check. Took three months to get them to stop! They also put a judgement against him. It was their mistake but it cost us well over $1000 in lawyer fees to straighten it out. Of course he didn't have to pay for awhile after that but they are notoriously slow in getting up to speed. ECSCU is all about the mother, they really could care less about the father. Obviously his ex-wife was laughing all the way to the bank at the time but it all eventually came out in the wash. The second time was when he was laid off from his job and his support was supposed to be reduced to 25% (2 kids) of his unemployment benefits during brief periods of lay-offs. Well, they still managed to screw that up as well and kept right on taking $270 (was only supposed to be $100) a week straight out of his unemployment check. Which left him with I think $135 a week. Eventually that got straightened out as well but at the cost of more lawyer fees ($500) and more aggravation. No way should anyone have to hire a lawyer because of ECSCU's incompetence. It's been a nightmare for my husband in dealing with them. I, on the other hand also get my child support payments for my son through ECSCU, and I have never had a problem in the ten years that I've been dealing with them. But then again, his dad and I haven't been to court in ten years either. My husband's ex takes him to court every spring for cola, so the potential for screwups is heightened. We've come to expect nothing less from ECSCU . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarthur31 Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 i don't get the hostility towards this guy. he isn't cheating anyone. maybe it was irresponsible to be so careless with his johnson, but he owned up to it, and rather than making mother or child suffer he went through the channels that are available to ALL of us should we ever need them. His complaint is that the bearucratic BS that he went through caused him to have a couple 'large' lump sums come due rather than having them deducted in smaller, more easily managed monthly payments. I know that it is easier for me to pay 10 bucks a month, than it is for me to come up with 2 grand all at once. God forbid anyone here needs to ever "cheat the taxpayers" and have to get public assistance for anything(be it welfare or hurricaine relief, or daycare grants...whatever). These things are in place to help people that need it. The problem lays when people live the lie off the system, and to me, based on his story, doesn't seem to be the case. 330175[/snapback] I'm with Pooj. This guy is trying to do the right thing but the system only cares about sticking it to him. It's a shame more guys don't act like this and take responsibility! On a slighty different note, I know of a man who served in the military but won't take any of the benefits coming to him. Is that weird or what? And I don't mean public assistance either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin in Va Beach Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 This thread is an argument for waiting until marriage and then staying married come hell or high water... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afrodziak Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 I commend you for acting responsible and being as good a father as you could, considering the circumstances. I still have a problem with women getting pregnant and then getting public assistance as if it's their birth right. I think public assistance should be utilized by families where something catastophic created upheaval and financial stress, and should only be a temporary measure until they adapt and create a better situation. My gripe is mostly with single mothers, whose pregancy was often NOT an accident. It's all part of some convoluted strategy to give them security. They got problems at home and figure they can wrangle some unsuspecting guy into making them into a family, and if that doesn't pan out, the government provides a safety net of free housing and food. What a crock!!! From the sound of your first post, I had the impression you was just some tomcat getting chicks knocked up and then getting pissed at the governement for wanting you to be accountable. Sounds more like you had a case of getting involved with a couple of fertile Myrtles while your boys churned out some Mark Spitz level swimmers. What luck. Can't say it couldn't have happend to me. Good luck with your boys. All four of them. 330440[/snapback] I actually have the same gripe. Though my sons mothers are not any sort of deadbeat moochers either. Only the one went on public assistance and then only because she was halfway through school and couldnt (due to time and $) finish school and work full time with an infant child. Of course, she did get off public assistance as soon as she got finished with school which was about 18 months, if i recall correctly. It is my understanding that this is the type (at least one of them) of situation that the public aid system was designed for - people to be able to use it, better themselves and move on. Anyway, for those who seem to have a problem with me having 2 sons and not being married to either of their moms, thats fine if that is how you think - but i would argue that it CERTAINLY is not in any way an example of the problems of our society today. I can see if i had 6 kids by 4 mothers and never paid a dime for their support and we were all on welfare and eating govt cheese and so on. LOL Basically what i am saying is having kids and not being married is not breaking down society at all if a person is responsible and taking care of their own IMHO. Also for those who think i was being irresponsible with my johnson just because i happened to choose the pill as a birth control method - lets be real. how many of you are in relationships and use condoms ALL THE TIME...especially if your girl is on the pill? My guess is it is a small percentage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afrodziak Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 My twin daughters are "pill" babies. Apparently that brand wasn't strong enough to prevent ovulation. I also have a "condom" son, a "condom" daughter and a "rythym method" son. Stevestojan happens. I commend you for only using government assistance when it was absolutely neccessary and worked so hard to improve your situation. 330493[/snapback] WOW! And i thought i just had a run of bad luck. i guess i should STFU when you are around! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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