What's your favorite football story?

[Simon]

I like good football stories (i.e this guy sawed his Volkswagon in half, that guy bit me on the johnson in a pile) and would love to read some of your favorites.

I've got some good first hand ones (our RT from Oklahoma who was so cold one day he started pissing in his pants in the huddle to keep warm(that worked for about 3 minutes); or my middle 'backer from Hawaii who in a game a couple weeks before Christmas destroyed a mouthy RB and told him "Mele Kalikimaka mutherfu(ker" (I was laughing so hard I had to go to the sideline and miss a 3rd/long opportunity)), but I'll go with an NFL one about a Western Pennsyltucky QB (imagine that).

 

Late 50's-early 60's, NFL championship game between Cleveland and Baltimore. Johnny U has been taking a beating from the Browns front4 all day and with about 5:00 left in the 4th the Colts have the ball deep in their own end, down 4-5 points. One of the Browns Ends comes clean and gets a forearm through Unitas' single bar and just mashes his face. Johnny U gets back in the huddle a bloody, pulpy mess with a sideways schnozz and somebody (nobody will give up the name) tells him that he needs to get off the field and have a doctor look at that. Unitas says "shut the !@#$ up, nobody talks in my huddle but me", then reaches down, grabs a fistful of mud and jams it up his nose to stop the bleeding. He then proceeds to drive the Colts down teh field and throw the title-winning TD with both nostrils packed full of dirt.

They don't make 'em like that any more.

[Gavin in Va Beach]

Someone posted this link to an Esquire interview with Conrad Dobler years ago, but it's always the first thing I think of when someone asks about football stories

 

What I've learned- Conrad Dobler

 

Specifically-

 

One game, I knocked the crap out of Merlin Olsen. If you wanted to see it on instant replay, you had to go to the kitchen because I knocked him so far out of the TV frame. After the game, he says, "One of these days, someone's going to break Dobler's neck, and I'm not going to send any flowers." What happens? He gets the $500,000 FTD commercial, and I don't get sh--. He goes to the Pro Bowl fourteen times. He's in the Hall of Fame. He's probably got more money than God. When he was doing Father Murphy on NBC, he had a graveyard scene. One of the tombs said: CONRAD DOBLER. GONE, BUT NOT FORGIVEN. It's been twenty years since I played him, and I'm still on his !@#$ing mind. And I like that.

 

[Simon]

It's been twenty years since I played him, and I'm still on his !@#$ing mind. And I like that.

 

 

Niiiiice.

[eball]

the one that hasn't been written yet. bills win the super bowl.

[stuckincincy]

The Stanford Marching Band game vs. Washington.

[Kelly the Dog]

True story.

 

When we were in 9th grade, our QB was a great athlete and pretty good player, but he stuttered. Badly. Which wasn't good because sometimes he couldn't get the plays out. One game, against our arch rival, we were driving late in the game and a play came in that started with the number 50.

 

He couldn't get it out, just going F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f... over and over. Everyone in the huddle is leaning in, freaking, trying to get the play. He's going, " F-f-f-f-f-f-....F-f-f-f-f-f-..." Time is running down. Everyone's going nuts. He can't get out the friggin' call.

 

Much to his credit, with all the pressure in the world, he yells, "F-f-f-f-f-f-HALF A HUNDRED!"

 

It was beautiful. What a clutch call. We easily would have won the game except nobody could stop laughing and get up to the line to get the play off.

[Dan Gross]

Hey, Simon, I think you're thinking of a late-season game against Chicago, 1960.

 

Another recollection of Unitas I found amusing when searching, a quote from Bubba Smith:

"A guy broke through the line, hit him, pushed his head in the ground. He called the same play, let the guy come through and broke his nose with the football. I said, "That's my hero,' "

[mary owen]

I read a story a while back that always stuck with me. Ray Nitschke. I read that during the Ice Bowl, Ray had frostbite on a few of his toes. His nails fell off of his purple toes, he limped to the Super Bowl against the Raiders, SB 2 i believe. On Oak's 1st offensive series, a RB came out to block Ray. Ray threw him down face first, and walked on the guy's back and got to Lamonica.

 

I also heard another story about a 25 ft metal tower that fell on Ray during a practice. A rod pierced his helmet (plastic back then) and cut his head. he was pinned under the tower. Lombardi and everyone else rushed to help. Lombardi tells them, "It's Ray....now get back to work." Ray continued to practice as soon as he got the tower off him.

 

#66 was arguably the toughest bastard to ever play, from what I've heard anyway.

[Simon]

The Stanford Marching Band game vs. Washington.

 

I believe that was in the annual Stanford/Cal brawl.

Then again teh Stanford band is pretty interesting and you may be talking about a completely different story.

 

We easily would have won the game except nobody could stop laughing and get up to the line to get the play off.

Are you sure it wasn't because those dumb-ass corn-fed linemen couldn't figure out what half a hundred was?-)

 

Hey, Simon, I think you're thinking of a late-season game against Chicago, 1960.

You sure about that? I've heard a couple guys tell the story and I always thought they were referring to the title game vs Cleveland that year. I'm not 100% sure though, so if you know I'm mistaken, don't be shy about correcting me.

 

"It's Ray....now get back to work."

 

[Kevbeau]

Even among foolball players, Bronko Nagurski was noted for his incredible strength. In one game against the New York Giants, Benny Friedman, who hit Nagurski at the twelve-yard line could not bring him down until he had run another eleven yards. "He hits hard enough to knock down a horse," Friedman remarked.

Incredibly, on the very next play, Nagurski did precisely that, bashing his way through the end zone with such determination that he hit a mounted policeman. Having bowled over both officer and horse, Nagurski returned to his feet. "That last man," he declared with apparent confusion, "hit me awful hard!"

[Kelly the Dog]

In the old AFL, there was a tight end for the KC Chiefs, Fred Arbanas, who only had one eye after losing one in an off-the-field accident. One game he got popped pretty good and his glass eye fell out onto the field. The Officials had to stop the game so they could look through the grass for Fred's eye. It took a while and they finally found it but one of the officials was joking with Arbanas and asked him what he would have done if they didn't find his eye. And Arbanas said, "Become a referee"

[Surfmeister]

When Brad Johnson played QB for the Vikings he once threw a pass near the goal line. It bounced off of the helmet of one of his O-line and back into his hands. When he caught it he ran it in for a TD because the D already committed to the pass play. It was hilarious. I think ti was on MNF. He lives one neighborhood over from me in Moore Pond.

[Dan Gross]

You sure about that? I've heard a couple guys tell the story and I always thought they were referring to the title game vs Cleveland that year. I'm not 100% sure though, so if you know I'm mistaken, don't be shy about correcting me.

   

311536[/snapback]

 

The only Championship game against Cleveland was 1964, and the Colts were blanked.

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/teams/cltindex.htm

 

Of course, I'm just going by web references, I wasn't around back then...maybe it did happen.

[MattyT]

My old housemate--a big Giants fan--told me about a time when the Giants were honoring Lawrence Taylor's career during the halftime of a game. This was during LT's coke/crack hayday. The Giants were nice enough to invite several people that were significant in LTs career... former coaches, teamates, and one Joe Theismann. After everyone did their speech, and the award had been presented, the MC was wrapping up the ceremony when Taylor could be heard over the stadium microphone in the background yelling down the line of guests to Theismann..."I BROKE YOU JOE!"

 

Not sure if its true or not, but I enjoy that story anyway.

[Kevbeau]

Here's some short ones I found...

 

James Eggink was among the players selected by the Montreal Alouettes in the 1996 CFL draft. Eggink was certainly a fine player - until his death in December 1995...

"I'm upset and embarrassed," Alouettes owner Jim Speros later remarked. "The research process can be very difficult."

 

In 1981, legendary Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry was asked about being the only head coach in the team's history. "That's one way to look at it," Landry replied. "The other is that I haven't had a promotion in 21 years!"

 

Former running back Walt Garrison was once asked whether he had ever seen legendary Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry smile. "No," Garrison replied, "but I was only there nine years."

 

While running a sweep during a game against the Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions star Altie Taylor saw linebacker Dick Butkus - one of the legendary "monsters of the midway" - heading toward him and wisely ran the ball out of bounds.

Butkus, irked that he had narrowly missed an opportunity to greet his opponent with a bone-crushing tackle, simply picked Taylor up and threw him into the stands.

[stuckincincy]

I believe that was in the annual Stanford/Cal brawl.

Then again teh Stanford band is pretty interesting and you may be talking about a completely different story.

Are you sure it wasn't because those dumb-ass corn-fed linemen couldn't figure out what half a hundred was?-)

You sure about that? I've heard a couple guys tell the story and I always thought they were referring to the title game vs Cleveland that year. I'm not 100% sure though, so if you know I'm mistaken, don't be shy about correcting me.

   

311536[/snapback]

 

Cal - ok. The marching on to the field, the laterals, the dekking the tuba player or whatever was the one in my recollection.

 

This dotage really s*cks...

[34-78-83]

A 5 on 5 pickup game after school one fall day in 1988 on my high school field...

 

From my pop-warner days thru to high school I was always a bit undersized (understatement ), but was always considered the top tackler on the team (technique wise). This was something I was most proud of. I never tired of taking down bigger guys and watching the look on their faces as they found themselves on the ground.

 

Well on this day we played pretty much with our normal crew, along with a couple stragglers from a neighboring town. One of them, we'll call him Craig, weighed in at about 260 while most of us were in the 150 range He was a dreidel shaped kid, with a huge shoulder span and tiny little legs... a regular bowling ball. He had played some organized ball as well and showed some skill as a straight-ahead runner, along with playing the line on defense.

 

When on defense I was playing a safety or "rover" type position that day. It was always fun to try reading the eyes of the guy playing QB and get to measure up the intended receiver for a nice jarring hit, or maybe a pick. Well on this particular play they sent the bowling ball kid out in the flat for a quick screen play. There were really no blockers in front of him as he methodically rumbled down the right sideline stiff-arming one of our guys along the way. The only thing left in between he and the endzone was me as I angled over to meet him at about the 5 yard line..

 

Now any sane 150 lb kid at this point would have realized that this was merely a pick-up game and would have allowed the rumbling big guy an uncontested trip into the endzone. I was'nt having any of that though. I decided that this was the time I would show this big out-of-towner just how good I was and give him a close up view of the dirt. He had been running fairly upright all day, and I certainly wasn't going to get him down by hitting him high, so I got in position for a typical wrap/slide down/ and tighten tackle which surely would knock his top-heavy frame off balance and down him somewhere inside the 5. As I led toward him and lined up my left shoulder to meet his lower leg, suddenly he lowered himself to the point where his own shoulder was lined up to mine in a surprising display of balance! I then braced myself for the big collision that was inevitable at this point. Well that collision came and a "snap" could be heard as he split my collar bone like a wishbone on Thanksgiving! As I struggled for a moment on the ground I realized that I had indeed stopped him and downed him at @ the 2 yard line, but the price I think you will agree was far too great

[dib]

Miami 31- Nebraska 30.

and.....

 

Wide right

Wide right

Wide left

[HopsGuy]

Artie Donovan always has great stories. One time on Letterman he told one where the Colts were playing the Lions. He said that in the second half he broke through the line to sack Bobby Layne. As he helped him to his feet, Donovan said to Layne,"Jeeze Bobby, you smell like a brewery. You must have had a late night." Layne replied, "I had a couple in the lockerroom at halftime."

 

 

'Course no one tells it as well as Artie.

[Greg de'Ville]

...only one that comes to mind was a Monday night game in Cleveland a few years ago. Drew Pearson of the Cowboys made a catch and before the camera cut away, he proceeded to heave his cookies, face mask notwithstanding. About as puke-green as it could get. Must have been sick as a dog that night.