diver Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I have been coaching soccer for over 10 years. I think it is about time to quit. Tired of parents bitching all the time. If its not one parent its another parent. I don't get paid. I volunteer my time. I coach a U-13 premier girls soccer team. 5 players were late to league game because of track meet. So whenever one showed up I benched them for only 15 mins. I did that to my star player when she showed up with 18 minutes left in game. She got to play for only a few minutes. Parents freaked out. Calls me up and quits. I think that's what I am about to do. It wears on you over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwight Drane Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I think you ask yourself why you do it. Is it to win games or to set a good example for your kids? I find it quite rewarding to pay more attention to the kids with less confidence and have them believe in themselves. It's a 13 yo girls soccer league......any parent who complains is likely the same person to yell that the lottery is rigged when their $1 ticket doesn't cash. Let the girl walk......remember her name....Google it in 5 years, and laugh when her overbearing parents led her to a life of online porn. Although her stage name will probably be different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Don't let them beat you. As long as you do what's right in your heart and aren't being vindictive then stick to your guns and make sure the rules apply equally. Kids need discipline and any parent who lets their child quit a team because the coach enforced a rule is not doing anyone any favors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheManTheMythTheLegend Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I have been coaching soccer for over 10 years. I think it is about time to quit. Tired of parents bitching all the time. If its not one parent its another parent. I don't get paid. I volunteer my time. I coach a U-13 premier girls soccer team. 5 players were late to league game because of track meet. So whenever one showed up I benched them for only 15 mins. I did that to my star player when she showed up with 18 minutes left in game. She got to play for only a few minutes. Parents freaked out. Calls me up and quits. I think that's what I am about to do. It wears on you over the years. 299317[/snapback] I feel bad for the girl you benched. No, not because you benched her (you did the right thing), but because the way her parents are raising her is going to turn her into a miserable adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justnzane Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I have been coaching soccer for over 10 years. I think it is about time to quit. Tired of parents bitching all the time. If its not one parent its another parent. I don't get paid. I volunteer my time. I coach a U-13 premier girls soccer team. 5 players were late to league game because of track meet. So whenever one showed up I benched them for only 15 mins. I did that to my star player when she showed up with 18 minutes left in game. She got to play for only a few minutes. Parents freaked out. Calls me up and quits. I think that's what I am about to do. It wears on you over the years. 299317[/snapback] right now i am taking a coaching sports class at Brockport. Also, I have volunteered at varsity level for a couple sports. The situation with having a track meet the same day as that game is rough, but you roll with punches. Just think about it this way tho, it is one less problem that you may have to encounter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justnzane Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I feel bad for the girl you benched. No, not because you benched her (you did the right thing), but because the way her parents are raising her is going to turn her into a miserable adult. 299358[/snapback] Steve, I agree that it is rough. the parents knew what was going to happen. After that girl was let go from the meet, they should have told her to brace herself, if she doesn't get in the game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarthur31 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Demand that the parents who are constantly bitching at you to coach for just 1 year! That'll open their arrogant smug eyes. Bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Coming from someone who has had real issues with youth sports coaches......I say you did the right thing...... Dont quit.....the youth leagues need good coaches if you leave chances are you will be replaced with a disaster of a coach like the ones my son has had to endure........ I personally have always supported any of my kids coaches as long as they were fair across the board, explained what they were doing when time permitted, and were trying to teach and make sure everyone was having fun.... Also....I myself am a youth coach. I am a assistant basketball coach for the local youth league......I have coached both young girls and teenage boys they both bring their set of challenges....I find it rewarding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRT88 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 you did the right thing! You shouldn't quit. Who else will teach them what is right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I have been coaching soccer for over 10 years. I think it is about time to quit. Tired of parents bitching all the time. If its not one parent its another parent. I don't get paid. I volunteer my time. I coach a U-13 premier girls soccer team. 5 players were late to league game because of track meet. So whenever one showed up I benched them for only 15 mins. I did that to my star player when she showed up with 18 minutes left in game. She got to play for only a few minutes. Parents freaked out. Calls me up and quits. I think that's what I am about to do. It wears on you over the years. 299317[/snapback] I just starited "coaching" my daughters team(5 yrs old) last fall. Not really coaching as I know nada about soceer, more just keeping schedules str8 and bring balls, and getting everyone to play the same amounts of minutes. Swear to god I almost had the opposite take. The dads were great,I had a blast with the kids. The motheres on the other hand were just kiiling me. Had a near riot on my hands trying to decide if we were doing a team snack, or each one brings his own. These kids practice for 25 minutes and then have a 30 minutes game, and all these mothers cared about was snacks, like these kids would drop over from hunger if they didn't have time for two snacks in a hr. Me being a novice, thought the kids should get as much physical activity in a hr as possible, but pretty hard when 15 minutes is consumed by eating. Wonder why kids are fat now? Even when they try to get exercise, they get stuffed with food Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#89 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 OK, I have NO kids so I live life hearing about the people I work with kids. Every parent thinks their kid is the best at everything. BRAG<BRAG<BRAG. Well after hearing about the star who played baseball, basketball and scoccer.(she was all county in all three) She went to college and guess what. She rode the bench. She wanted to quit but she rode the bench. Her school was paid for and she rarely even got in the game. What did her mother say? It was the coaches fault. Good luck. YOU DID THE RIGHT THIG. The little princess has to learn that life does not OWE her playing time. It is earned and rules are rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30dive Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 As one who has coached High School and youth sports for 17 years now I can tell you it will not change. Some parents have been idiots for all history, today you think it's the worst, it will be better and then sometime soon it will be bad again. As you have been advised by so many above, as long as you are level handed and treat each child (and parent) fairly, you will be able to sleep at night. DO NOT GIVE UP SOMETHING YOU ENJOY DOING. The good far outweighs the bad, the bad makes for great stories, the good makes for many smiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Fong Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 diver Glad you have the balls (or lack of them, I'm not sure) to stand up for what's right. I don't know what kind of an example these parents think they are setting for a pre-teen girl, but it's a horrible way to approach life. Instead of doing what they did they should have backed you 100% and told their daughter that sometimes in life you have to face consequences for your actions even if it's not your fault. I applaud your sticking to your convictions and hope that you don't quit coaching completely. We need more like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Kids need discipline and any parent who lets their child quit a team because the coach enforced a rule is not doing anyone any favors. AGREED!! And why do parents encourage their kids to overextend themselves by participating in too many activities in the same season? Are they afraid that there will be enough spare time that they may actually have to make conversation with their kids? Or Heaven forbid, actually sit down at the dinner table together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastaJoe Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I've been coaching my son's hockey teams for the past 6 years. We have multiple teams and draft our players after an evaluation. I will pass over a more skilled player if one of the parents has a reputation of being a prick, or if the kid is undisciplined and will be a distraction. I'd rather lose and enjoy the experience than win and have a lousy time. I tell the parents before the season what the rules and expectations are, and if they don't like it they are free to request switching to another team. I tell them, if we're not here to have fun, then why are we here? We're paying to play, and who wants to pay for a lousy experience. There's no shame in losing if you try your best. And I go out of my way to make sure I don't favor my own son, so they know I'm being objective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toledo Bill Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I have been coaching soccer for over 10 years. I think it is about time to quit. Tired of parents bitching all the time. If its not one parent its another parent. I don't get paid. I volunteer my time. I coach a U-13 premier girls soccer team. 5 players were late to league game because of track meet. So whenever one showed up I benched them for only 15 mins. I did that to my star player when she showed up with 18 minutes left in game. She got to play for only a few minutes. Parents freaked out. Calls me up and quits. I think that's what I am about to do. It wears on you over the years. 299317[/snapback] Good for you! I have coached my son's baseball and football teams for several years. One thing I do is send out a memo to all the parents prior to the season staing my philosophy and guidelines. I describe exactly what I expect and how I will address situations. I also state that if a parent has an issue to discuss it with me privately and that we will try to resolve. You did the right thing. I have lost "star" players in the past and have still had very successful seasons ( by successful I mean the kids are all having fun while learning about sportsmanship, respect and a TEAM concept). It's funny, these teams also end up with very good won/lost records... with or without "star" players. Good luck to you... again, I have coached for many years and in my opinion you did the right thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LabattBlue Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Whatever happened to the novel concept of neighborhood kids getting together at the local playground for a pickup game? I did this for years every day after school and on weekends. No travel leagues, no parents fighting with each other, no expenses, etc... Sometimes I wonder if organized sports(outside of schools) are more for the benefit of adults than the children playing the game. Flame away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I have been coaching soccer for over 10 years. I think it is about time to quit. Tired of parents bitching all the time. If its not one parent its another parent. I don't get paid. I volunteer my time. I coach a U-13 premier girls soccer team. 5 players were late to league game because of track meet. So whenever one showed up I benched them for only 15 mins. I did that to my star player when she showed up with 18 minutes left in game. She got to play for only a few minutes. Parents freaked out. Calls me up and quits. I think that's what I am about to do. It wears on you over the years. 299317[/snapback] The bottom line is that most parents are just ignorant. I watched them tear at a friend of mine coaching 13 and under AAU basketball. He lost a lot of games because the idiots running the league made a dumb rule that you cant foul out. MOst of the idiot coaches took advantage of the rule, and had their players hack everyone on defense, so they could win. He had his team running 3 different defenses, 3 motion offense- and understanding them. He wouldnt let his players hack the other team. The bottom line is that he did his job, and the other coaches and administrators only with they knew how to do theirs. The ignorant parents basically pushed him out, and all they did was do wrong, as usual by their kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Whatever happened to the novel concept of neighborhood kids getting together at the local playground for a pickup game? I did this for years every day after school and on weekends. No travel leagues, no parents fighting with each other, no expenses, etc... Sometimes I wonder if organized sports(outside of schools) are more for the benefit of adults than the children playing the game. Flame away. EXACTLY. No argument here. My step-grandsons are "kept" busy with three sports per season. They don't even know how to organize a pick-up game. I wonder what this will do for them as adults? Will they always need someone to organize them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toledo Bill Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Whatever happened to the novel concept of neighborhood kids getting together at the local playground for a pickup game? I did this for years every day after school and on weekends. No travel leagues, no parents fighting with each other, no expenses, etc... Sometimes I wonder if organized sports(outside of schools) are more for the benefit of adults than the children playing the game. Flame away. 299623[/snapback] No flame here... excellent point. I grew up in that environment and cherish the memories. "More for the benefit of adults"... great comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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