aussiew Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 A new store named Husband-Mart opened, where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. Husband-Mart is composed of six floors and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the six flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor -- but, if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down, except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: "Floor 1 - These men have jobs." She reads the sign and thinks, "Well, that is better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what is further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: "Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids." The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up the next stairs she goes. The third floor sign reads: "Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love Kids and are extremely good looking." "Umm, better," she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" Up she goes. The fourth floor sign reads: "Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework." "Wow!" exclaims the woman. "Very tempting. But, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight of steps. The fifth floor sign reads: "Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Ohhmmaagawd! But just think ... What must be waiting for me on the sixth floor!" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: "Floor 6 - You are visitor number 1,260,459,789,016 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice day!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark VI Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Tell me something I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 This just in: water is wet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berg Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 A new store named Husband-Mart opened, where women can go and choose ahusband from among many men. Husband-Mart is composed of six floors and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the six flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor -- but, if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down, except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: "Floor 1 - These men have jobs." She reads the sign and thinks, "Well, that is better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what is further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: "Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids." The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up the next stairs she goes. The third floor sign reads: "Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love Kids and are extremely good looking." "Umm, better," she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" Up she goes. The fourth floor sign reads: "Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework." "Wow!" exclaims the woman. "Very tempting. But, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight of steps. The fifth floor sign reads: "Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Ohhmmaagawd! But just think ... What must be waiting for me on the sixth floor!" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: "Floor 6 - You are visitor number 1,260,459,789,016 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice day!" 267186[/snapback] Good thing my Wife had the common sense to stop at the 5th floor... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 You are such a sexist! Hi, Sweetie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Good thing my Wife had the common sense to stop at the 5th floor... 267293[/snapback] Alas, I was found in the clearance rack.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
col_forbin Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 This just in: water is wet. 267196[/snapback] LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerJ Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Alas, I was found in the clearance rack.... 267296[/snapback] And I was in the bargain basement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deep Voice Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 This just in: water is wet. 267196[/snapback] Yea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJsackedagain Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 This just in: water is wet. 267196[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Good thing my wife stopped on the 3rd floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doyle Hargraves Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 The men on floor three and above are all homosexuals. She should have stopped at 2 where she could find a real man like me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 The men on floor three and above are all homosexuals. She should have stopped at 2 where she could find a real man like me 267326[/snapback] :fyou Kids are good. It's screwed up people that make them bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Alas, I was found in the clearance rack.... 267296[/snapback] I was the pile under the clearance rack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 I thought you were going to say the guys on the six floor had one more positive trait but they were gay ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cåblelady Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Good thing my Wife had the common sense to stop at the 5th floor... 267293[/snapback] OMG! ROFLMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assquatch Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice day!" 267186[/snapback] Good thing the punchline wasn't in the topic name or anything... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Alas, I was found in the clearance rack.... 267296[/snapback] I'm in the "returned/opened" section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 I'm in the "returned/opened" section. 267506[/snapback] Ahhh, the gross things in life. Once upon a time I worked the frontlines of retail. Customers brought back all kinds of crap, but the worst was when they brought back used crap. But I have my receipt! But you friggin used it! Happened all the time with prom/formal dresses. Chickiepoo has a hot date and needs the sequined number with plunging neckline but really doesn't want to be out big bucks for just one evening of fun. So, they remove the tags with the plastic thingies intact. Go to the dance, sweat like a heffer and then find a way to re-attach the tags and return the sweat stained dress. The worst of the worst was someone returning obviously used underwear in new packaging. No sir, I'm sorry but we can't take your sh------- underwear back. Just go steal something and get your drugs that way. I don't even want to go into things that happened in the dressing rooms. Sex in the dressing room is just fine by me. Just as long as you don't knock down the walls and scare children with screams you can have your fun. It's the other stuff that happened in there that turned my stomach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berg Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 OMG! ROFLMAO 267468[/snapback] I wonder what she'd say if she knew I posted that? Somehow, I don't think she'd find it as funny as I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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