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#1

Kraft: Russell got his money right? And he knows what to do?

Goodell: Yes Bob, relax, when the time comes he's going to call off the run play, take the snap, and throw it right to Malcolm

 

#2

Brady: I didn't have to cheat for this one.

Goodell: We know about the phone Tom, you're not fooling anyone.

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#1

Kraft: So I know Tom's not lying because when I stuck my finger up his ass like so and asked him if he deflated the balls I couldn't feel his sphincter tighten.

Goodell: I so hate my effin' life. I wish I would've known this was going to be the job before I sold my soul for it.

 

#2

Brady: I like to purse my lips like this when I take a big hairy pair across the chin. Just ask Wes.

Goodell: Did I mention that I hate my effin' life?

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