ItsConspiracy Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Hey Bills Fans, Im a new member on the board and a few months ago I found out I'm going to be a father of a baby girl. My fiancee and I are very young and I'm having a hard time holding down a job lately. We live together but lately I've been having some emotional ups and downs, just having doubts about whether I can make a good father or not. Some of you guys have got to be dads (duh) so I was just wondering if its normal to be nervous and worrying so much about just being a good dad. Haven't been able to find a dads social network which is why I'm posting it on here lol. II'd just welcome any advice from fathers out there that kinda know what I mean. See what others experiences have been Thanks guys GO BIIIIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Congrats and welcome to the board. Well, I am fairly young (32), have 2 kids, and one on the way. I don't have any Dalai Lama advice for you but if I had to tell you one thing, it would be to just try and make your child smile and it will take every worry you have away. Every guy is always unsure as to how he will fare as a father. The hardest thing is having patience, but once you figure out that things are not nearly as bad as they seem, things just tend to work out. Hope it helps and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Don't worry. It is common to be nervous. I had just turned 41 when we had our first son and 46 when we had our second son. Believe me, I was nervous. First you worry about the health of the baby and the mother and then you worry about the fact that this little guy is totally dependent on you. The fact that you are "worried" about being nervous shows (at least to me) that you are displaying the first signs of being a good dad. Kids do not come with a user manual. Each one has a different personality. You are not going to have all the answers -- no one does. If I could tell you one thing (something that I either read or someone told me), just try to make your child feel secure and loved. Don't burden your child with any of your troubles -- leave them at the front door. You will do just fine. There is a book that I bought (the name escapes me, but I still may have it somewhere) that is just for dads and takes you through each of the first few weeks and then each stage for the first couple of years. It has some very interesting information about being a dad, what to expect, and your relationship with your fiancee. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. If I find the book, I will let you know the name. Enjoy being a dad. It is absolutely the best part of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 You shouldn't worry... Really... If you can't take care of your children, Chef Jim (among others) says he will pay. Booo... That was a poor attempt at a joke. Sorry! Anyway... Hang in there... Try to get yourself stable and doing something with a routine... Settle down and be a family guy. That is something that has been happening since the dawn of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsConspiracy Posted November 4, 2010 Author Share Posted November 4, 2010 Thanks guys just trying to make sure im not going insane or something. I'll be hanging in there lol, Bills keep me sane during most weeks. Think a routine might help a lot I'll try that out. Thank god my fiancees a football coherant Bills fan, makes things so much better on sundays=)). Feeling a lot better now, I've been cooped up with females for a while . Guess I just needed to hear from some fathers since mine wasn't very supportive (booted me at 15). Hoping to be the best for my baby girl and hopefully my baby Bills apprentice.Just trying to get an idea of how to start out as a father though I'll have to change as time goes on of course. If anyone else has anymore tips or wants to share I'd appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 You shouldn't worry... Really... If you can't take care of your children, Chef Jim (among others) says he will pay. Booo... That was a poor attempt at a joke. Sorry! Anyway... Hang in there... Try to get yourself stable and doing something with a routine... Settle down and be a family guy. That is something that has been happening since the dawn of time. No Chef Jim will say if you're young, not married and can't keep a job you should have kept your dick in your pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 No Chef Jim will say if you're young, not married and can't keep a job you should have kept your dick in your pants. Or at least stick it somewhere else (where little one's can't be formed). Of course NO means NO... This isn't a zero-sum game... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Anytime your fiancee goes to a Dr. appt where there's going to be an ultrasound....you do your damnedest to go with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Anytime your fiancee goes to a Dr. appt where there's going to be an ultrasound....you do your damnedest to go with her. I am a father of two (12 and 8, boy and girl)... Why is that, what you mention above? I don't think I made either appts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 No Chef Jim will say if you're young, not married and can't keep a job you should have kept your dick in your pants. I would say the same thing. My daughter is 22 and on the verge of engagement. Our rule- degree-job-engaged-married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Hey Bills Fans, Im a new member on the board and a few months ago I found out I'm going to be a father of a baby girl. My fiancee and I are very young and I'm having a hard time holding down a job lately. We live together but lately I've been having some emotional ups and downs, just having doubts about whether I can make a good father or not. Some of you guys have got to be dads (duh) so I was just wondering if its normal to be nervous and worrying so much about just being a good dad. Haven't been able to find a dads social network which is why I'm posting it on here lol. II'd just welcome any advice from fathers out there that kinda know what I mean. See what others experiences have been Thanks guys GO BIIIIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!!! Seek out crayonz via PM if you have to. His advice will serve you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Rooney Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 As a father of two, I now carry pictures where my money used to be. Becoming a parent is life changing. Get prepared. Congrats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 As a father of two, I now carry pictures where my money used to be. Becoming a parent is life changing. Get prepared. Congrats! I have six, my check is direct deposited to the grocery store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Rooney Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 I have six, my check is direct deposited to the grocery store. 6!?! Wow! God Bless you Gary, Wow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 I have six, my check is direct deposited to the grocery store. Wait until they're teenagers, you'll have to get a 2nd job at the grocery store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Wait until they're teenagers, you'll have to get a 2nd job at the grocery store. I'm damn close. But they are pretty well spread out. My oldest is in college (Gettysburg) My second is a junior, then 7th, 5th, 1st and one still home(pre school in the spring) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Avenger Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Biggest piece of advice I can give you is to remember that this is a HUGE change and it's no longer about YOU. I don't mean for that to sound scary - it's not. But your life changes and the focus of things becomes the family and the kid. It's not about when you're going to find time for yourself to do something you like to do - you take that when you can get it but there are very few times when you get a 'day off'. Example - the times you're going to look forward to are things like a trip to the zoo with the family and even then you're still going to have plenty of responsibility. You're going to probably be hard pressed to spend every Saturday with the guys going mountain biking like you do now - the focus will shift. I think the guys who have the biggest problems with fatherhood somehow think that once they have a kid life is still going to be pretty much the same just with a kid - no such thing. Because they think that way they get upset that they aren't mountain biking with the guys every Saturday or if they are it's causing problems because you're leaving Mom to do everything while you take time for yourself - neither is a good situation. The sooner you can understand that it's not about you and really enjoy the zoo trip rather than the Saturday with the guys the better off you'll be - welcome to a new stage of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 NO job? Find one and keep it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 Hey Bills Fans, Im a new member on the board and a few months ago I found out I'm going to be a father of a baby girl. My fiancee and I are very young and I'm having a hard time holding down a job lately. We live together but lately I've been having some emotional ups and downs, just having doubts about whether I can make a good father or not. Some of you guys have got to be dads (duh) so I was just wondering if its normal to be nervous and worrying so much about just being a good dad. Haven't been able to find a dads social network which is why I'm posting it on here lol. II'd just welcome any advice from fathers out there that kinda know what I mean. See what others experiences have been Thanks guys GO BIIIIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!!! Talk mommy into breast feeding, it's better for the kid and you get to see her boobs way more often. And it eliminates you from having to make a bottle in the middle of the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 (edited) I am a father of two (12 and 8, boy and girl)... Why is that, what you mention above? I don't think I made either appts... Because the ultrasounds seem to be the most likely times that you're going to get bad or questionable news about the baby's health. And you don't want your wife/gf/whatever to be alone for that. I learned this the hard way. Edited November 4, 2010 by MattyT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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