SectionC3

Hoax. Are you going to help your pal or what? You guys spend so much time worrying about everyone else and not nearly enough time worrying about yourselves. Stop thinking about Bud Light and Disney and start working on your own problems, like literacy, likability, tobacco abuse, gluttony, and such.

Look, a lot of people are saying that he might be an incel. I'm not one of them. I'm trying to help. In fact, I might be the only one trying to help. I realize that MAGA is the party of rugged individualism and personal freedom. But sometimes Irv needs a helping hand. Scratch that. It sounds like Irv could use a little kindness in his life. Maybe instead of thinking of Latinisms you could say something nice to Irv. Like, for example, "a lot of people think that you might not be as bad as you seem." Irv needs a fat guy in a little jacket right now. That is, he needs you.

That was witty. Hoax. Seriously, based on the anger and frustration in what you write I’m worried that you might be an incel. Maybe you can go on one of those conservative dating websites and find someone equally angry, lonely, and desperate. Bond over your mutual contempt for Bud Light and people who have better lives than you because they worked harder and paid attention in school. Then you guys can share a cig, a cheap beer, some fatty red meat, watch a couple of you tube videos about trump, and maybe — just maybe — the sparks will fly!

Seriously. All of these "conservatives" are way too upset about Tucker. They should grip reality, crack a Bud Light, and pour one out for Tucker. I bet there's nothing he wants more than that.

You forgot the Oxford comma. Might want to think about such things before criticizing the grammar of others. Then again, perhaps you're upset about Tucker. Or you've had too much Bud Light. Maybe it's both. Whatever. I'll give you a pass--tonight only--because of your grief and sadness.

I bet all of you Tucker guys, at least the handful of you who are moderately literate, used your new hour of free time during the 8p slot to read a book. Hoax. I bet you actually went bowling, sucked down some stale Natty Light, and gnawed a block of pepperoni the size of a car battery. Maybe watching Tucker all those years was health (or at least less unhealthy) for all of you. Sad.

He’ll have to do that tomorrow. If I know Tucker Carlson, he’s about 10 Bud Lights deep into drowning his sorrows at the moment.

I can think of nothing more interesting than watching Ted Nugent shoot and eat a squirrel. Or maybe he just talks about it. Whatever. I’m sure it’s riveting. Hoax.

So are you going to a vigil for Tucker or will you be guzzling Natty Light and playing with your guns? Or … is this a high life night??? That almost as big a hoax as the hoax that got Tucker fired in the first place. Perhaps even a double hoax, if you will. I think Don was on mornings recently. Whatever. I wasn’t watching anyway.

Unless it’s for cause. Or there’s an NDA.

You may be the guy PT Barnum had in mind.

Let’s go easy on this guy. He may be from South Carolina, where, as the MAGA man himself would put it, lots of people say that the schools are not so good.

You won’t be watching Tucker. Looks like his Dominion lies caught up with him. So how will you fill the void? Prayer service for Tucker? MAGA roundtable held over Senecas, salami, and Keystone light? An argument about which MAGA has the most cholesterol in his arteries? Maybe light some books on fire? So many options, and so much time to fill. Fire away with your plans!

Hoax. Your boy got canned. Your point about the negotiation of carriage fees sums it up. Fox wants higher fees, wasn’t the least bit perturbed by Tucker’s lies costing them over three quarters of a billion dollars, and yet mutually agreed with him to part ways, rather than try to keep through a compensation increase. That’s such a hoax that I don’t know if even Tucker could repeat it with a straight face.

Spin. The liar was fired.

And yet his departure shortly after the Dominion settlement was purely coincidental. Hoax.

This is what happens when your lies cost your employer three quarters of a billion dollars.

This fool will only encourage our enemies. America is getting soft and dumb. Whether it’s MAGA sucking down cigs, cheap booze, and salami and complaining about everyone but their own fat, ill-educated, and lazy selves, or the college-educated Gen Z who prefer to diddle on Snapchat as opposed to talking to humans and hustling, the future for our great nation is a little cloudier than it was a few years ago.

In other words, a bunch of rando lunatics on an internet message board are upset that another internet rando might be a “troll.” If that is what concerns you, then you are a snowflake. Sad.

Who is “we?”

I think it was more of a spray situation. Fill the garden sprayer with bleach, open up the chest, shoot some cleansant here and there, and see what happens.

Hoax.

Seriously. No more MAGA slobs. We have enough people on the dole in this country already. The last thing we need is more MAGA sucking down cheap cigs, eating copious amounts of bacon, and asking the taxpayer to foot the bill for their diabetes, lung cancer, and heart disease when they land on Medicaid.

Probably on horses is my bet.

I always figured Doq just liked the taste and touch of Ivermectin. Kills parasites, has a pleasant texture, and tastes yummy.