HopsGuy

Unpredictable Chaos? I'm gonna add that to my list of redundancies. Right after "Armed Gunman". It's true, though. The psycho-chick per capita in South FL is high enough that we should have background-check stations in the bars.

My guess is that although these women around her are losing their kids to "family" violence, her kids are alive and well (though scarred). Carm is haunted by this. Of course, I could be wrong.

A guy from my office is on that site. He gets all kinds of a$$. He's about 50% of the way to truly qualify, but he says the chicks there are about 30%. It's all good.

Maybe. Way back in the day, I remember Jim Kelly introducing a 97 Rock parody song called "Puppa-Man" that was sung to the tune of the Kinks' "Superman".

"Here girl. Would you like a carrot?" Don't hit her. If she slows, show her the whip. She'll go.

Nothing like a good rumor. Here's what a friend just sent: Although I'm gonna make Barbaro the key horse, I heard from a friend that Brother Derek threw a shoe in the derby (not really reported to anyone...). That, combined with the bad trip, hurt him but Barbaro was by far the best horse that day. In short, it should have been a closer race. That being said, I'm taking those 2 with all the rest for the triple and the super. Hopefully there will be a decent price for Brother Derek and if so, he'll be a safety bet to win. Good Luck! The plot thickens...

Here's what I'm planning to do: 5-6-8 $2 Trifecta Box 5-6 $2 Exacta Box 6 $5 Win (We're all waiting for the next Secretariat) None of these are gonna pay much.

I beg to differ. The best advice came from the immortal Robert Finstock as portrayed by Jay Tarses: Coach Finstock: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

About 7 years ago when I was looking for a new car, I was reading Consumer Reports and I saw that the Forrester was the highest rated vehicle for it's price range. My battery had died, so I was waiting for a friend to pick me up for work. he called and said he forgot but the president of our little firm would be by. This guy is 4 years younger than me and smarter than CTM, AD & SDS put together. Anyway, he asks if I'm looking for a new car, and I said that I was looking at Forresters. He turns and looks at me and deadpans, "If you buy a Forrester, I will never talk to you again. Martina Navritilova does commercials for them. They should just call them Beavers." I'm still driving my Nissan Sentra.

Calvin & Hobbes: Snowmen

I voted "Calvin & Hobbs". If you asked me in 5 minutes, I'd probably say "Far Side". The Garfield longevity is amazing considering there hasn't been a new idea there since year 3. Actually, this was part of Davis' master plan. He worked with desperation to keep the cat from becoming too huge, as anything that becomes larger than life eventually suffers from backlash and then obscurity (think about it). The guy was scared to death that the whole suction-cup car animal thing would ruin the franchise. Have to admit, the plan seems to be working. There's a second movie coming out this summer. Dilbert's creator has a blog on his site. Occasionally, he'll give some insight as to how he writes the strip. Interesting stuff.

I can't find it, but there was one where there were 3 bears in the woods. One bear is apparently telling a story to the other two and says, "Is it true? Is it true? Is the pope Catholic? Does a bear...., well I know you do, Angelo." I think it's the 'Angelo' that gets me.

Woody: Beer, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Okay Woody, but stop me at one. Ehhh, make that one-thirty (1:30).

I've tried shame, bribery, and threats. Next up, blackmail.

Gold Digger – Kanye West Verse 2 18 years, 18 years She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money She walkin around lookin like Micheal with ya money Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah It's something that you need to have Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half 18 years, 18 years And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his

Ever watch "The Office"? They had a diversity day and there was an exchange like this: Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States... my parents were Mexican. Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides 'Mexican' that you prefer? Something less offensive?

I've offered this up before. Here is a link to a page that will allow you to download Scott (Dilbert) Adams' book "God's Debris". It's a short book about a theory that the universe is the result of God destroying himself. Interesting little spin for your brain.

When folding my laundry and putting it in the dresser, I often sigh as I remind myself that I'm contributing the heat-death of the universe. Maybe.

I once wrote a paper on the Theory of Everything. The day it was due, my physics professor asked where it was. I said, 'Well last night I was measuring its velocity. I measured it with such precision, it literally could be anywhere in the universe." Bah dum dah!

Instead of a retrospective for TWW, they're going to re-run the Pilot Episode next Sunday before the Series Finale. There's a great scene at the end where Martin Sheen goes off on 3 Christian Conservatives. John Van Dyke: When our children can go to any street corner in America and buy pornography for five dollars, don't you think that is too high a price to pay for free speech? President Josiah Bartlet: No. On the other hand, I think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography. TWW had a nice run. Sorkin has a new show premiering in the fall on NBC called "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". It's supposed to be to SNL as "Sports Night" was to SportsCenter. I'm looking forward to that. There's a nice sit-com revival going on with "My Name is Earl" and "The Office". The Sopranos is in an entirely different league. That show is fantastic "art of film" that just happens to be about organized crime.

I wish someone would do this for the Colonial Athletic Association. After all, they did send a team to Final Four this year.

"That's why I only put 2 bucks on the longest shot there is. That way I don't get my heart broke."

Lettuce observe a moment of silence for the Mexican loss.

Tragedy + Time = Comedy

Fire the marketing department! The "Battle of the Bankrupt" campaign was a horrible idea!