I taught myself how to cook over the years. Started off watching FoodNetwork ( which is trash these days. Maybe it always was), then cookbooks, and now a lot of internet research.
I really like SeriousEats.com for explaining the why of the recipe, dispelling common myths and grandma style misinformation, and recommending better practices/recipes. Its geared toward the home cook so its accessible. AmazingRibs.com has been equally great for bbq and grilling.
Modernist Cuisine is a great resource for breaking down the science of cooking and explaining what happens at a molecular level. Modernist is aimed toward more advanced and hardcore home cooks, their recipes are mostly impractical, but the information is broadly applicable and there are a lot of cool techniques you can use.
YouTube has been awesome for providing a visual on techniques which I haven't attempted before. I used YouTube to see how to cut certain vegetables properly and efficiently (its a major time saver), shuck oysters, breakdown live crab, prep fish, wrap dumplings, wrap beef wellington, etc. Seeing it done before you attempt it is great.
With these sources I would say that I now understand what I'm doing and why I'm doing it in the kitchen. With a bunch of techniques in my toolbox, recipes are now just guides for ratios and proportion and I mix, match, and customize (for better or worse). Cooking is a lot more fun when it evolves past following steps checking a book for what comes next.
I hope this helps to some degree.
P.S. - I dazzled the old bags and hapless instructor at my Williams Sonoma date night cooking class. I half considered a mutiny. I'm the teacher now!!