ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

I have no recollection of reading about any Bills GM doing this, but maybe it got hushed up.

OK, there is actually a point to the obscure Bill Murray movie quote reference in my thread title. Every now and then mankind advances because somebody thinks outside the box and revolutionizes the way we do things. Case in point: the Fosbury Flop. Mocked and laughed at until the guy started winning high jump competitions with his totally unorthodox approach to the sport. Or in Bill Murray's case, his spectacular idea to advance the culinary science of making tuna fish sandwiches by feeding the mayonnaise to the fish, thus totally eliminating the need to spread the stuff on the sandwich bread. Sammy Watkins can't stay healthy, but we have his brother on the practice squad. Big deal, so what, who gives a s**t. Well that's exactly what the other high jumpers said when that Fosbury fella came along and shook things up. Don't anybody tell the Pats************************** this, but to get Sammy on the field, we can use his brother Jaylen for spare parts. Last I checked, human cloning was considered unethical, but transplants have been OK ever since that South African guy (not the one with blades for legs who shot his girlfriend to death in the bathroom - - the one with real legs who did the first heart transplant) started detaching body parts from one guy and hooking them up to somebody else. Other teams can't make this revolutionary leap 'cause you can't just use anybody for spare parts. If people aren't related, there's a high risk that the donor's parts will get rejected when we graft them on to Sammy. But 'cause Jaylen is Sammy's brother, there's DNA overlap, so Sammy's brain won't reject the assimilation of Jaylen's calf. And for all you inside the box thinkers that are gonna say this will never work, Jaylen's got 2 healthy calves to start with. If we was askin' Jaylen to donate a kidney to save Sammy's life, nobody would bat an eye, 'cause Jaylen's walkin' around with a spare. So how is it any different if Jaylen donates one of his 2 calves to save Sammy's football life? Sammy's football life is just about in hospice care. Pretty soon he's gonna be the next Percy Harvin. C'mon people, there's guys getting' face transplants these days - shirley we can get Jaylen to contribute one measly calf muscle to the team effort. It's not like the Bills aren't already payin' Jaylen for basically doin' nothin' anyways. We got 2 Watkins brothers sitting' on the bench, and they got 3 healthy calves between them. Well not literally between them, but connecting their knees to their feet. With one calf muscle or two, Jaylen's still gonna be ridin' the pine. So why not get Sammy back on the field? Too bad Jaylen don't have an extra brain. But maybe someday medical ethnicianology will advance to the point where the authorities will let Sammy grow his own spare. Wouldn't that be a hoot!

Hey Bill - - when you are feeling well enough to share a few thoughts with your daughter about having a stroke, I would abandon the "no particular order" paradigm and put this item at the top of the list! Seriously, though - - get well soon. I hate to suggest a NE Pat**** as a role model, but Tedy Bruschi had a stroke and made it all the way back to play in the NFL. Hang in there.

PETA is suing a photographer on behalf of a monkey named Naruto that used the guy's camera to take a monkey "selfie:" http://www.artlawreport.com/2015/09/22/irony-is-dead-peta-sues-for-copyright-infringement-on-behalf-of-the-animal-in-the-monkey-selfie/ They should have sued whoever named the monkey "Naruto."

We found the guy who did it:

If we really wanted to end racism, we would call them "go darks," rather than "stop lights."

I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once, as I ever was.

So the Bills fan was sober enough to know that he was planning to be offensive, and decided to go ahead and be an a$$hat anyway? And you're proud of THAT?

Apparently, he considered Chan and Fitzgibbons enough of an upgrade to return: http://nypost.com/2015/09/13/fireman-eds-hiatus-is-over-super-fan-returns-to-rally-jets/

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/2000-cases-may-be-overturned-because-police-used-secret-stingray-surveillance/ar-AAdXuBn

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/mexican-app-developers-creating-trumpealo-video-game-n419752

http://www.cnbc.com/2015/08/28/north-dakota-police-can-now-legally-use-taser-drones.html

Darryl says if you weren't in the room then obviously it didn't really happen to you.

Club sharks not sandwiches?

When you make sock puppets do they have to be the same length on each arm? Or is it just a leg thing?

My response to this situation was: "I don't speak Italian. I want a medium. If you can't figure out how to give me a medium, I'll take my business elsewhere." They suddenly were able to figure out which size was "medium."

Tell your friend to zig when everybody else zags. That may sound like a joke, but it ain't.

You got some weird flies in Illinois.

Just when you think you've seen it all: http://deadspin.com/tricky-softball-dude-hits-backwards-home-run-1722674174

Well, unless you were receiving tweets telepathically, it seems like there was a fairly simple solution for avoiding the spoilers. Hey, you asked. Like twice.

Shotgun AND a Glock . . . wonder where he kept his back-up piece?

Sounds to me like Hogan's already got the back-up CB here spot locked up.

I don't know if anything will change for the upcoming season, but I've had Game Rewind for the last 2 years. For both years, I could start streaming the Bills game (or any other NFL team's game) on demand shortly after the Sunday night NFL game ended. The stream was unavailable until then, and was also unavailable during the live broadcast of each Monday night NFL game. So if you live on the East Coast, and work some type of morning hours on Mondays, the option of starting to watch the Bills game roughly around midnight Sunday night isn't very practical. On the other hand, if you live on the West Coast, or plan to delay sleep until you are dead, there is a viable window to watch that day's Bills game on demand shortly after the Sunday night NFL game broadcast ends, even if you have to work on Monday mornings. The replay video is HD quality - - but the quality of what you personally get to see depends on the strength of your particular internet connection (just like for any other streaming video). As I mentioned, I haven't seen anything yet about the upcoming season, so it's always possible the availability of the stream might change this year. Hope that helps.