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Friendship question . . .


BuffaloBud

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I need some advice from the frequent "advisors" of the board.

 

I was at my neighbors last night for dinner. The two couples are very good friends. He and I got in a what I will call a elevated (heated?) discussion of which we were seeing opposite viewpoints. Rather than making things worse I thanked them for the dinner invite, wished them a good night, and left.

 

So that I do not harm our friendship any further, what course of action should I take in apologizing for my actions / viewpoints?

 

(I know that I am going to get some smart alec responses on this so bring them on.)

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If they are "very good friends" it shouldn't be too much of an issue, IMO. I'd simply tell them what you told us, and apologize for leaving the event. I'm guessing if they are real friends, and not overly sensitive, they will forget this minor glitch.

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I need some advice from the frequent "advisors" of the board.

 

I was at my neighbors last night for dinner. The two couples are very good friends. He and I got in a what I will call a elevated (heated?) discussion of which we were seeing opposite viewpoints. Rather than making things worse I thanked them for the dinner invite, wished them a good night, and left.

 

So that I do not harm our friendship any further, what course of action should I take in apologizing for my actions / viewpoints?

 

(I know that I am going to get some smart alec responses on this so bring them on.)

 

Your post has ambiguity - was it you, or you adding into a dispute between two other couples?

 

 

If you were a main combatant, send a handwritten note - via mail - regretting that things got heated, admit regret for your actions, and express hope that your mutual friendship shall continue. If not, modify that note a bit, expressing regret that a spat developed, hoping that all parties can return to the previous - valued - state of amicability. Send the note, regardless.

 

That's the way that served well through several centuries. Never turn your back against your friends, and when spats inevitably occur, work to heal them.

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(I know that I am going to get some smart alec responses on this so bring them on.)

The passion with which you say you argued your point, compounded with the dramatic way you fled the scene, indicates that there is more to this situation than is immediately apparent. I think the next step for you is to make your romantic love for your friend known to him. If he reciprocates, then you may begin to arrange your wonderful new life together. If not, you will simply live out your pathetic remaining years in crippling shame. :devil:

 

 

Seriously though: Bring him a 6 pack (or something comparable) and say "Sorry I got a little worked up the other night. No hard feelings." I'd be very surprised if anything more than that is required (that is, unless your argument happened to be about the quality of his wife's bj's.)

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What is this "handwriting" you speak of....?

 

And how do you send that through the computer...? :devil:

 

;)

 

Why you simple common man... I take it you are not aware of a quill and its use in transcribing ones thoughts to paper? Pity really.

 

Well I'm off to the haberdashery, followed by a trip to the alchemist. Pip-pip and cheerio to you my good man.

 

(where is that "tipping of the top-hat" emoticon?)

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It's something that you're concerned about this... most people these days are quick to burn bridges at any difference (real or perceived). As such, I'd probably leave a small card in the door with what stuck suggested, '.... I respect that you have an opinion that differs from my own. I regret the elevated tone of the conversation and my abrupt departure. I look forward to our dinners together and hope that last night does not impact their continuation' etc. Maybe attach it to a bottle of vino or something as a token.

 

And then, in the future, steer clear of the subject.

 

Understand if you don't want to post specifics... what was the argument about, broadly?

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I need some advice from the frequent "advisors" of the board.

 

I was at my neighbors last night for dinner. The two couples are very good friends. He and I got in a what I will call a elevated (heated?) discussion of which we were seeing opposite viewpoints. Rather than making things worse I thanked them for the dinner invite, wished them a good night, and left.

 

So that I do not harm our friendship any further, what course of action should I take in apologizing for my actions / viewpoints?

 

(I know that I am going to get some smart alec responses on this so bring them on.)

 

It would help to know what the argument was about. In order to keep this thread from becoming a heated argument of it's own just generalize; politics, religion, brand of reliable cars, his wife is uglier than a platypus after being road kill and hard rain etc. etc.

 

Name a star after him....

 

:nana:

 

 

What is this "handwriting" you speak of....?

 

And how do you send that through the computer...? :devil:

 

;)

 

 

Main Entry:

hand·writ·ing Listen to the pronunciation of handwriting

Pronunciation:

\ˈhand-ˌrī-tiŋ\

Function:

noun

Date:

15th century

 

1: the ancient art of writing done by one's hand ; especially : the dated form of writing that was peculiar to a particular person2: something written by hand before the advent of computers. Old documents of handwriting have been scanned into computers for readability. This form of communication is believed to have been phased out in the early 1990's

— handwriting on the wall

: an omen of one's unpleasant fate

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It's something that you're concerned about this... most people these days are quick to burn bridges at any difference (real or perceived). As such, I'd probably leave a small card in the door with what stuck suggested, '.... I respect that you have an opinion that differs from my own. I regret the elevated tone of the conversation and my abrupt departure. I look forward to our dinners together and hope that last night does not impact their continuation' etc. Maybe attach it to a bottle of vino or something as a token.

 

And then, in the future, steer clear of the subject.

 

Understand if you don't want to post specifics... what was the argument about, broadly?

 

If it's mead then all is forgiven.

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serious sounding answer:

 

You don't need to apoligize for your viewpoints. They are yours & yours alone.

 

How to apologize for leaving...let them know that you value their friendship and you didn't want things to escalate further last night so you thought the best course was to leave...apologize for not being there to enjoy the work that your hosts had put into the evening...promise to avoid the subject that caused the row last night...invite them to your home at their soonest convenience...

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