thebug Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Back when my cousin graduated from RIT, his sister, also my cousin, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopsGuy Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 "I'll buy these April 40 Calls on Bear Stearns. The NYC property is worth $20 alone." - Hops, March 14 2008 /should have bought a strangle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LewPort71 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 ... any time Joe Theesmann opens his mouth in the broadcast booth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 A friend's wife likes to refer to "a change of menu." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Back when my cousin graduated from RIT, his sister, also my cousin, is very ditzy. For anyone who doesn't know, RIT has some sort of program for the deaf, and a good percentage of the school is deaf. So we went out to dinner after the ceremony and were talking about all of the deaf people there, and the lady doing the signs at the ceremony for them. After we were talking about them, we realized the table sitting right behind us were deaf people from RIT, to which my cousin says, "Oh no... I feel bad, do you think they heard us?" I have another one. My girlfriend, brother, and I were watching something on TV. Well, you know how when there are multiple talking heads on at the same time, they split them up so they are all on the screen, and then put the city they are talking from below them? Well, my brother says, "Who the hell is that guy on the right?"... my girlfriend says, "Detroit Michigan" About 10 years ago, there was an earthquake in Southern California, which occurred on a fault that was previously unknown. The local TV news had an interview with a geologist, who explained that many faults remain unknown until they eventually exhibit seismic activity. In response, the ditzy reporter asked: "Exactly how many unknown faults are there in California?" ... any time Joe Theesmann opens his mouth in the broadcast booth... A friend's wife likes to refer to "a change of menu." In what way? How does she use it in a sentence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 In what way? How does she use it in a sentence? If your baby is getting restless, maybe he needs a change of menu. (As opposed to a change of venue.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Back when my cousin graduated from RIT, his sister, also my cousin, I know I said we shouldn't attack each other but that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 "I am voting for ......" insert any number of candidates here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 A friend, his girlfriend and I were sitting down watching "Family Ties" and I said: "Man Justine Bateman is hot." To which she replied: "How can you say that? Look at those lips!" To which I replied: "They're BJ lips." To which she replied: "Why are men so obsessed with getting BJ's?" To which I replied: "Aside from the fact it's intensely pleasurable I have no idea?" and my friend fell on the floor laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilly Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in College." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanners Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 They're running on all 7 cylinders. HAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAa Haaaaa! Nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Avenger Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in College." Classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HBSS151 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 This is the same girl who said: "I hope we all get snowed in, then we could order out!" When my first wife and I were on our honeymoon at one of the Pocono pleasure palaces, she observed about Day 4, 'We have never seen the people across the hall come out of their room'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConradDobler Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 "Why doesn't the government just print more money?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ans4e64 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I know I said we shouldn't attack each other but that one... Hey, I was trying to be as specific as possible to help you readers out lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullpen Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 A bunch of us were playing in college and playing County/Grape-Belt league baseball in the summer. It was right before the 4th of July and after the game a bunch of people were discussing plans for the holiday. One of the girlfriends chimed in with this beauty... "Can you imagine if the 4th of July ever fell on Friday the 13th? That would be kind of creepy" Seriously, I'm not making this one up... she actually said that. You could ALMOST give her some slack if she had said Independence Day... maybe. But to use the actual date?!?!? ... no I never played baseball with Tony Romo or Nick Lechey so I'm SURE it wasn't Jessica Simp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopsGuy Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 A bunch of us were playing in college and playing County/Grape-Belt league baseball in the summer. It was right before the 4th of July and after the game a bunch of people were discussing plans for the holiday. One of the girlfriends chimed in with this beauty... "Can you imagine if the 4th of July ever fell on Friday the 13th? That would be kind of creepy" Seriously, I'm not making this one up... she actually said that. You could ALMOST give her some slack if she had said Independence Day... maybe. But to use the actual date?!?!? ... no I never played baseball with Tony Romo or Nick Lechey so I'm SURE it was Jessica Simp. Not to high-jack the thread, but your avatar sent chills down my spine. I worked at Brand Names in Olean when I was in high school. The manager probably said a few things that could make this thread, though. The guy couldn't spell anything to save his life, either. The memos he'd leave were high comedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 A bunch of us were playing in college and playing County/Grape-Belt league baseball in the summer. It was right before the 4th of July and after the game a bunch of people were discussing plans for the holiday. One of the girlfriends chimed in with this beauty... "Can you imagine if the 4th of July ever fell on Friday the 13th? That would be kind of creepy" Seriously, I'm not making this one up... she actually said that. You could ALMOST give her some slack if she had said Independence Day... maybe. But to use the actual date?!?!? ... no I never played baseball with Tony Romo or Nick Lechey so I'm SURE it was Jessica Simp. You have to admit that would be creepy. Did everyone laugh at her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullpen Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Not to high-jack the thread, but your avatar sent chills down my spine. I worked at Brand Names in Olean when I was in high school. The manager probably said a few things that could make this thread, though. The guy couldn't spell anything to save his life, either. The memos he'd leave were high comedy. Sorry Hoppy, don't mean to give you chills. We had one in Jimmytown growing up. Don't remember a lot about it, except their toy department was a rip, Tom Jolls did the voice-over work for the commercials and my dad did a lot of Christmas shopping there I think. You have to admit that would be creepy. Did everyone laugh at her? I think it got a lot of these: ... then probably some laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 A former boss of mine once received a hilarious thank you card from one of his Hong Kong customers that had come to visit him for a while at his house. It read, "I enjoyed very much your hospitalization. My only regret is that I was able to meet your whole family." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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