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Dumb Joke of the Day


WWVaBeach

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A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing

alone. She approached him.

 

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

 

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'

 

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most

-- cars and men.'

 

'What's your name?' she asked.

 

He said, 'BJ Titsengolf' :rolleyes:

 

Feel free to add on...

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter-- he can't come to you anyway.

 

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take him out for a drag.

 

Where can you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter-- he can't come to you anyway.

 

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take him out for a drag.

 

Where can you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

 

 

1st one's were waaaay better!

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1st one's were waaaay better!

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic.

The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, "Born with them, I guess."

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A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic.

The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, "Born with them, I guess."

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

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I don't think I saw this one on this board, so here goes:

 

 

A guy goes to his doctor and tells him:

“Doc, my penis has turned ORANGE!!!”

Doc says: “Well what have you been doing?”

“Nothing. Just watching porn and eating Cheetos”

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I don't think I saw this one on this board, so here goes:

 

 

A guy goes to his doctor and tells him:

“Doc, my penis has turned ORANGE!!!”

Doc says: “Well what have you been doing?”

“Nothing. Just watching porn and eating Cheetos”

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his friend on the way to the restroom?

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter-- he can't come to you anyway.

 

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take him out for a drag.

 

Where can you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

 

What do you call two guys with no arms and legs above a window?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kurt and Rod.

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A guy walks out onto his driveway and.....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Powerbombs his dad.

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A guy walks out onto his driveway and.....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Powerbombs his dad.

 

 

Thanks alot. I just spit my pop out onto my computer screen. That joke never gets old.

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What do you call a dog with short legs and steel testicles?

 

Sparky.

 

 

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and says: "Give me a beer and a mop"

 

 

Horse walks into a bar, bartender says: "Why the long face?"

 

Duck walks into a bar bartender wants to now if the duck wants to start a tab. Duck says: "No, put it on my bill"

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What do you say to a one legged hitchhiker?

 

hop in

 

What do you call a lady with one leg shorter then the other?

 

Eileen

 

What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg shorter then the other?

 

Eiween

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

 

 

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

 

 

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

 

 

He replied, "It was an ID-ten-T error."

 

 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID-ten-T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

 

 

Eric grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

 

 

"No," I replied.

 

 

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

 

 

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

 

I used to like Eric.

 

 

 

 

This might be more interesting than funnyAfter an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

 

 

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

 

 

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

 

 

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

 

 

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

 

 

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

 

The Government Is Trying To Correct This Problem

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