Tux of Borg Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/30/worst_movie_romp/ Showgirls clinches worst movie sex scene award Pool romp 'like a scene from Jaws' It's official: the pool romp scene from Showgirls - featuring Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan going at it like two dolphins caught in a tuna net - is the crappiest movie sex scene of all time. In awarding the crown to Paul Verhoeven's lamentable waste of celluloid, Empire magazine has at least ensured that it will go down in history for something besides possibly being the worst film ever made*. An Empire spokesman said of the outrage: "It's supposed to be the best sex in the world but, as Berkley thrashes around in the water, it looks more like the first ten minutes of Jaws." Well said. Sloppy seconds in the list of shame went to Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche for Damage, with Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes humping their way to third in Killing me Softly. Disappointingly, Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss in Matrix Reloaded only merited ninth spot, although it's good to see veteran rumpy-pumpy merchant Joan Collins honoured at 10 for her 1978 coupling with Oliver Tobias in The Stud. We'll leave the last word to Empire, which carries this reasoned analysis of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Gigli: "When Ben's chauvinistic mobster Larry Gigli gets it on with J-Lo's lesbian assassin Ricki, the scene is cold corny and lame. But what really sends it over the top is Ricki's infamous 'It's turkey time, gobble, gobble' as a call to oral foreplay. Unfeasibly bad, the pair, while sexy as hell on their own, together here couldn't generate enough heat to toast bread." The Top Ten Worst Movie Sex Scenes 1. Showgirls: Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan (1995) 2. Damage: Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche (1992) 3. Killing me Softly: Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes (2002) 4. Body of Evidence: Madonna and Willem Dafoe (1993) 5. Crimes of Passion: Kathleen Turner (1984) 6. The Specialist: Sharon Stone and Sly Stallone (1994) 7. Gigli: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez (2003) 8. 40 Days and 40 Nights: Matt Sullivan and Shannyn Sossamon (2002) 9. Matrix Reloaded: Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss (2003) 10. The Stud: Joan Collins and Oliver Tobias (1978) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I guess it's a good thing I've only seen one of those (Matrix). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverNRed Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 3. Killing me Softly: Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes (2002) This movie was completely terrible but I refuse to complain about any movie where Heather Graham gets naked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loadofmularkey Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 3. Killing me Softly: Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes (2002) I cannot disagree enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 DEFINITELY NSFW, but I had to check it out after reading that article. Hilarious. Edit: realizing there may be young'uns around on this board, I deleted the link. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 DEFINITELY NSFW, but I had to check it out after reading that article. Hilarious. Epileptic Seizure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadCap Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 OMG, that was hilarious! I was laughing MAO! Kept thinking JAWS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 I was a youngen when I saw showgirls at the movie theater in Hornell. To this day my parents still don't know. That movie was a serious disappointment. Definitely the all time worst movie i have seen at the theatre. Tho in Showgirls defense, it's not as bad as You Got Served (which I only saw after somebody else had rented the dvd) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 That movie was a serious disappointment. Definitely the all time worst movie i have seen at the theatre. Tho in Showgirls defense, it's not as bad as You Got Served (which I only saw after somebody else had rented the dvd) I can think of a lot of movies worse than Showgirls. Horse Whisperer comes to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loadofmularkey Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 DEFINITELY NSFW, but I had to check it out after reading that article. Hilarious. Do you think she faked it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanone Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Any movie with that shows bush is fine by me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimBob2232 Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 wow....how she did not snap her neck is beyond me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckeyemike Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 I can think of a lot of movies worse than Showgirls. Horse Whisperer comes to mind. And I've got one that everyone will agree is worse than Showgirls. A little turd called Exit to Eden. Rosie O'Donnell as an undercover cop dressed as a dominatrix, played for comedy. Excuse me, I have to go barf now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cripes Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Janeane Garrofalo masturbating in the Truth about Cats and Dogs - it made ME go blind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RkFast Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Ill never forget seeing Showgirls. Everyone in the theater was talking thoughout like we were at a party, not even paying attention. Right as whats her name goes to kiss the other chick, the place goes silent and as soon as the kiss is made, the whole place lets out a YYYEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! like the Bills scored a TD. Then everyone went back to chatting and drinking the booze snuck in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 I was a youngen when I saw showgirls at the movie theater in Hornell. To this day my parents still don't know. You were in Hornell and didn't stop by? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark from Albany Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 According to Dr. Sue on "Talk Sex," doing it in a pool is really bad for a woman's reproductive health. The pumping action forces water into the fallopian tubes at high pressure. And this can lead to infection and other problems. But that's not what I was thinking about as I was spanking off to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taterhill Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 they should have cast Lisa Turtle as the sidekick and Kelly Kaopowski in the Gina Gershon part..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 I would like to take this opportunity to defend Showgirls. For those of us who grew up watching Saved By the Bell, we singled handledly willed this movie into existence. We got what we wanted, and it was worth the price of admission. I never once wished, "Please let Elizabeth Berkley be nominated for an Oscar for portraying a WWII nurse who falls in love with a German." I prayed, "Please let Elizabeth Berkley do a trashy B movie where she gets naked." Don't bash what you don't understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taterhill Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 I would like to take this opportunity to defend Showgirls. For those of us who grew up watching Saved By the Bell, we singled handledly willed this movie into existence. We got what we wanted, and it was worth the price of admission. I never once wished, "Please let Elizabeth Berkley be nominated for an Oscar for portraying a WWII nurse who falls in love with a German." I prayed, "Please let Elizabeth Berkley do a trashy B movie where she gets naked." Don't bash what you don't understand. that's my momma.... Sincerely, Albert Clifford Slater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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